Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I weighed myself for the first time in a while and confirmed that I have put on a few pounds. I was feeling a bit down about it. I went to work and on arriving a workmate I hadn't seen in a while gave me a hug. She said, 'I love hugging you, you're so nice and squishy.' FML

#2302779
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44014) - you deserved it (7141)

On 05/26/2009 at 4:23am - health - by squishyboy (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I parked my car in a garage that cost $13 for every 10 minutes past 10 o'clock. When I came back to the garage at 10, I had forgotten where I parked it and spent an hour looking for it. I paid $78 to lose my car. FML

#2300061
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21275) - you deserved it (37460)

On 05/26/2009 at 1:39am - money - by lostcar (man) - United States (California)

Today, I brought home a vase, which I was proud of, that I made for my mother in my pottery class. My mother took one look at it and said, "Oh good, you can sell that in our garage sale." FML

#2299417
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41901) - you deserved it (2797)

On 05/26/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by Allen (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I decided to scare my 10 year old sister for fun. I hid behind a door and leapt out, shouting "Boo!" when she walked by. She burst into tears and ran screaming to my mom. My mom thought I'd hit my sister, and was so angry that she punched me in the eye. FML

#2298353
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53308) - you deserved it (17394)

On 05/26/2009 at 12:38am - kids - by tsakashvili (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my boyfriend invited me over so I went, not thinking anything of it. To my surprise, he broke up with me. I was pretty upset, and as I was leaving his mom hands me a box. When I got home I opened it. His mom baked me a break up cake. FML

#2290752
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52134) - you deserved it (3302)

On 05/25/2009 at 9:15pm - love - by cakegirl (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was preparing a dinner for some business associates, in hopes of closing the deal on a promotion. I emailed them with the menu, in case there were any allergies. Hours later, I checked the email again to find that instead of serving the Roast Duck I would be serving the Roast Fuck. FML

#2282414
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19702) - you deserved it (40576)

On 05/25/2009 at 5:42pm - misc - by wordmalfunction (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, while playing The Sims 2, I realized I had a virtual person's whole life planned out, and have nothing planned out for myself. FML

#2282395
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19866) - you deserved it (45003)

On 05/25/2009 at 5:42pm - misc - by drurbanXVII (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was writing a huge paper for a class as our last grade. My dog starts scratching himself. He hit the power button on the computer. Nothing was saved. FML

#2278692
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40508) - you deserved it (37117)

On 05/25/2009 at 3:45pm - animals - by duderboi99 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was laying down on my couch. My friend IM's me on my laptop to watch a video. It turned out that the video was one of those scary pop up's. I got so scared I dropped my laptop. The screen had a big crack. FML

#2273828
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41970) - you deserved it (9746)

On 05/25/2009 at 12:48pm - misc - by OrlandoZ6 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She told me that her father didn't approve of me and forced her out of the relationship. Her father died 2 years ago. FML

#2273679
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66123) - you deserved it (3494)

On 05/25/2009 at 12:43pm - love - by nadette (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was performing CPR on a woman on her floor while her internal defibrillator kept firing, making her whole body jump. When it fired, her hand went straight up into my nuts. FML

#2271670
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49397) - you deserved it (3605)

On 05/25/2009 at 11:14am - work - by EMT_Koulianos (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, me and my girlfriend went paintballing. I made sure we were on the same team, so I could protect her and be manly. The first time she got shot was by me, I shot her finger. It broke. FML

#2268591
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17532) - you deserved it (48730)

On 05/25/2009 at 6:35am - misc - by AquaRevolver (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I was at my friends' farm and we decided that we wanted to go to their old treehouse. When we got down there, it turned out my friend Cat had forgotten her shoes. Being a gentleman, I lent her my sandals. I then climbed the treehouse, fell out, and got a nail through my foot. FML

#2267588
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55722) - you deserved it (6178)

On 05/25/2009 at 4:33am - animals - by jackelking (man) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Cynthia's illustrated FML
  • TFIF indeed. It's time to kick off the suit and tie and forget about work. Some of us are going out for drinks with friends, others are going to enjoy some live music and some brave fools are going to keep fit…

Friday 28 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: