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Today, I was at a 21st birthday party. It got to the bit where they blow out the candles and the girl hosting blew out her candles. While she was blowing I whispered to the fella next to me, "That's not the only thing she'll be blowing tonight". The guy next to me was her dad. FML

#2713232
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14329) - you deserved it (84168)

On 06/08/2009 at 6:39am - intimacy - by baller (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had to tell a girl I liked she couldn't sleep over because I live with my parents. I'm 24. FML

#2711577
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25062) - you deserved it (63114)

On 06/08/2009 at 3:32am - intimacy - by levit (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was introduced to my dad's girlfriend of six months. I've already heard them sleeping together several time,s and seen her car pull away early in the morning. After meeting face to face, I also learned that she's only two years older than me. FML

#2709098
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65454) - you deserved it (2832)

On 06/08/2009 at 12:08am - love - by .... (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I came home and found my desk devoid of all paper. Turned out my mom dropped by and wanted to surprise me by cleaning up my work area. She threw away over 7 months worth of irreplaceable original sketches, notes and storylines, thinking they were worthless. My job is a full-time artist. FML

#2701716
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63403) - you deserved it (3267)

On 06/07/2009 at 8:17pm - work - by Kilika (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my wife talking in her sleep, "No Brandon! I don't want to have sex!" My wife won't have sex with me when she's awake OR in her dreams. FML

#2697150
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72567) - you deserved it (5650)

On 06/07/2009 at 5:49pm - intimacy - by BW (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I walked to Starbucks. On the way a homeless guy asked me for change and I lied and said I had no money. On my way back, Strawberry Frappuccino in hand, the same guy recognized me. He followed me for 3 blocks, swearing and yelling at me. FML

#2695663
446 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25290) - you deserved it (55202)

On 06/07/2009 at 4:46pm - misc - by Jebus (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, was teacher appreciation day at my school. They played a slideshow of all the teachers. The students cheered wildly for every teacher. When my picture came up, nobody clapped. The whole room was quiet. FML

#2693631
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54978) - you deserved it (24753)

On 06/07/2009 at 3:21pm - kids - by Ignatius (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was watching a TV show about people with shopping addictions. One girl was $15,000 in debt and I thought how horrible it would be to live with that. Then I realized that I'm in medical school and currently $135,000 in debt. At least they have something to show for their debt. FML

#2691460
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40837) - you deserved it (7916)

On 06/07/2009 at 1:54pm - money - by DebtedToSociety (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was hard at work cleaning up from a party I had while my parents were out for the night. Not a bottle of beer or a red cup was left for them to find. However, my parents did find two of my friends in their bedroom, still passed out and naked from beer and sex last night. FML

#2685483
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17922) - you deserved it (73663)

On 06/07/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by zep (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, after masturbating in the shower, I heard my phone go off outside the bathroom. After my mom saw me get my phone to check my messages she said "I think you're addicted to that", to which I said "but it feels so good and every guy does it." She was talking about how I text people a lot. FML

#2682803
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12874) - you deserved it (72967)

On 06/07/2009 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Jon (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, was my graduation party. My birthday was about a week ago so my parents combined the presents. I thought it would be something big so I hinted for a new TV. I got a snuggie. FML

#2679727
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58004) - you deserved it (4733)

On 06/07/2009 at 12:49am - money - by AllyCat (man) - United States (Virginia)



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