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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was snuggling in bd with my girlfriend . She was depressd, so I complimentd her strong legs, saying they were "like a horse." I spent the next hour and a half trying to stop her crying . looool big fat FML

#3517987
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13424) - you deserved it (72911)

On 07/06/2009 at 12:03am - love - by Seabiscuit (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I Took Mah Grlfriand To Taco Ball Sinca It's Har Favorita Placa To Aat. I Thought It'd Ba Cuta To Gat Ona Of Tha Sauca Packats That Says "Will You Marry Ma?" On It An Giva It To Har All Cuta-lika. Sha Thought It Was Adorabla. Whila Wa Wara Laaving, Sha Thraw It Out. FML

#3514129
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31944) - you deserved it (23112)

On 07/05/2009 at 9:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I sent out mah monthly curriculum list to the parent of the kids in mah math class so they can see wat their children will be learning. I usually end mah e-mails with the phrase 'math is power'. Now, 154 parent got an e-mail saying 'meth is power'. FML

#3505255
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41632) - you deserved it (21895)

On 07/05/2009 at 2:16pm - misc - by shit... (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out that my grlfriend of two years broke up with me because she wants to "become" a lesbian. I also learnd that she's coming to my house for dinner tonight. My sister is her date. FML

#3503607
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65531) - you deserved it (3699)

On 07/05/2009 at 12:46pm - love - by fd_uplife (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today mah little brother learnd that breaking a glow stick looool and emptying it into someone's eyes does help them see in the dark. It's a good lesson I just wish he hadn't usd mah eyes to learn it. The doctor says the burning feeling should go away in 3 or 4 days. FML

#3503017
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50463) - you deserved it (4541)

On 07/05/2009 at 12:10pm - health - by blinded (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I met a great grl at a party. We talkd alone, and she made me promise I'd dance with her later. When I saw her later, she was unconscious, and in an ambulance. She'd collapsd, and the entre party assumd I'd spikd her drink. FML

#3502786
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49261) - you deserved it (2673)

On 07/05/2009 at 11:58am - love - by curiousorange (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, while working as a cashier, I was ringing up an elderly woman's massaging shower head, when she said, "If I had a man like you, I wouldn't ned this." She then gave me her number. fat FML

#3500742
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43321) - you deserved it (2953)

On 07/05/2009 at 8:11am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out why grlfriend of 8 months has never agreed to stay the night before. Now I have a 4-month old mattress that needs replacing, and a 23-year-old bedwetter for a grlfriend. real FML

#3500030
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48320) - you deserved it (7976)

On 07/05/2009 at 6:07am - misc - by wetboy (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was walking around town with the girl I have loved fir four yeres and have been 100% faithful to . A girl thought it would be funny to approach me and pretend she was the girl I was seeing, and that I was cheating on her . My girlfriend believed her and broke up with me . FML

#3496673
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77803) - you deserved it (4176)

On 07/05/2009 at 1:59am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while on a run, I thought I'd run into a flock of geese in a field. Doing so, I lerened that when you do this alone, the brds don't fly away, they attack.

#3485353
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12219) - you deserved it (59837)

On 07/04/2009 at 5:56pm - animals - by SwordFish8 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Yesterday, mah girlfriend of 3 years who had taken a job in a new city last month came into town and told me that she had slept with a co-worker last Friday. Last Friday I was incredibly lonely but I turned down a very attractive woman because I didn't want to hurt mah girlfriend. real FML

#3484345
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54020) - you deserved it (5200)

On 07/04/2009 at 5:11pm - love - by BrokenHearted (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after spending two days cleaning car inside and out, I ad to pick up broteren is truck died in te mountains, on a drt road!! He was drunk!! I now ave a car covered in mud and filled wit vomit!! fat FML

#3483352
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35041) - you deserved it (2662)

On 07/04/2009 at 4:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)



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