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Today, my wife and I went shopping for new glasses at a local store, but we didn't really get to actually buying one. On our way back, she warned me that my glasses of choice should in no way be 'those big arty ones'. When I asked her why not, she told me that I 'look gay enough already'. FML

#3365761
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39584) - you deserved it (5733)

On 06/30/2009 at 1:01pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I text her angry, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. 5 Minutes later I get a picture message of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother saying "Shut the **** up, she had appendicitis." FML

#3361176
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15664) - you deserved it (87568)

On 06/30/2009 at 7:20am - love - by annoyedguy (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I took chocolax to help lose some weight before I left for Miami. Turns out it doesn't happen right away like in the movies, it happens six hours later in front of your girlfriends parents, that you've just met for the first time at a very upperclass restaurant. FML

#3355159
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12436) - you deserved it (50465)

On 06/30/2009 at 1:14am - health - by POLYBLOT (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mom had a talk with me while my dad was out. She said to stop using her lotion for my masturbation sessions. I asked her how long did she know. She replied with, "Ever since we put up that camera in the living room for burglars, where you happen to watch your porn." FML

#3354281
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25814) - you deserved it (45861)

On 06/30/2009 at 12:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after playing in an online casino, I won £200. Being pretty tight for cash at the moment I was pretty excited. I then tried to withdraw it to be told that I can't have a penny of it because I didn't register my card details first. FML

#3333689
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16152) - you deserved it (37108)

On 06/29/2009 at 10:30am - money - by Jeepers (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I planned a romantic dinner with rose petals, the whole lot, for my ex-girlfriend to win her back. When I took her to my house I told her to guess what I had planned, to which she replied "I hope it's not a stupid romantic dinner with rose petals and shit." FML

#3331987
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50566) - you deserved it (13083)

On 06/29/2009 at 2:31am - love - by ipopnlok (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I finally got the courage to tell my parents that I'm gay. My mom said "Yeah, we know." When I asked how they knew, my dad, without looking up from the tv, said, "We've been monitoring your Internet history." FML

#3330800
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44446) - you deserved it (15364)

On 06/29/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by Asterisk1009 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked into a gas station and saw some $.25 gum. It looked good and I thought I'd had a quarter in my pocket. I find no change in my pocket once I get to the register, so I pull out my credit card. The cashier laughs a few seconds later. My card was declined for a piece of gum. FML

#3327464
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34729) - you deserved it (14308)

On 06/29/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by DeniedAgain (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was sitting at my desk eating cereal with my cat sleeping on my lap. I got a really funny text and I started laughing hysterically, and spilled my cereal all over my cat. I'll let you know how my legs, arms, neck and face heal up. FML

#3313899
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34914) - you deserved it (12031)

On 06/28/2009 at 5:30pm - animals - by Teylot (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I went to go get a new ID because my wallet was stolen, which had my social security card in it as well. I found out that to get your ID you have to have your social security card, and to get your social security card, you need your ID. FML

#3313265
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53357) - you deserved it (8148)

On 06/28/2009 at 5:05pm - misc - by angry (man) - United States (Ohio)



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