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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I called my friend in Australia to have a nice long chat, what I did not know was that my dad had removed my international calling plan, I talked to my friend for 5 hours, and ran up a huge phone bill, which I have to take out of the money I saved up to go see her. FML

#2655501
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45753) - you deserved it (7476)

On 06/06/2009 at 8:41am - money - by tommy (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while I was taking a break at work, someone stole my iPod from my desk. I work in a police station. FML

#2654949
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67570) - you deserved it (7575)

On 06/06/2009 at 7:18am - work - by foretwintie (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, we got my brother a pet hamster because he has trouble making friends. We thought a hamster would be a good way to teach him about caring for others. I walked into the room and the hamster was hanging from the ceiling. Turns out there's a reason my brother doesn't have friends. FML

#2651635
476 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70487) - you deserved it (4830)

On 06/06/2009 at 1:51am - animals - by hamsterlovinn (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was driving behind a UPS truck. All of a sudden his back door opens up exposing some boxes ready to fall out. Like a good driver I speed up to drive beside him to tell him. He thought I was trying to cut him off so he accelerated. A box flies out and dents my windshield. FML

#2650637
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43950) - you deserved it (4965)

On 06/06/2009 at 1:10am - animals - by Anon (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I checked my bank account that i've been saving money in since I was a kid for college. I have $100 left out of the $10,000 I had last month. Apparently my parents thought buying a pool and an HDTV for themselves was more important than my college education. FML

#2645679
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (116439) - you deserved it (5494)

On 06/05/2009 at 10:24pm - money - by ExtemelyBroke (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was on the deck of a sailboat and I started feeling seasick. I bent over the edge to throw up. After I stood back up, the wind changed direction and the boon swung around, knocking me into the open ocean. FML

#2640814
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39046) - you deserved it (4066)

On 06/05/2009 at 7:43pm - health - by Timmay (man) - United States

Today, I found the source of the bad smell that has been plaguing me for the past two weeks in my apartment. The police knocked on my door asking if I've seen my neighbor recently. I haven't. The smell has been that of a dead person. It's a smell that even Febreze can't remove. FML

#2637433
429 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77424) - you deserved it (4624)

On 06/05/2009 at 5:42pm - health - by Michael (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got a taxi home from work. Only having notes in my wallet, I told the taxi driver that I'd run inside my house and come back out with the change for the journey. He agreed, but only if I left my bag as collateral. It seemed fair. An hour later, I realized my wallet was missing. FML

#2633025
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14332) - you deserved it (43476)

On 06/05/2009 at 3:07pm - money - by victimboi (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me because the love advice that she gets on her cellphone every week says that I'm cheating on her. I've never cheated on her and I was planning to propose next week. FML

#2630668
466 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87077) - you deserved it (5619)

On 06/05/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by dumped (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was with my 14 year old son when we saw a baby sparrow being attacked by four or five blackbirds. We rushed up, waving our arms and scared away the much bigger attackers. The baby sparrow ran toward us for protection, then went past both of us and ran straight down a storm sewer. FML

#2630273
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48468) - you deserved it (3918)

On 06/05/2009 at 12:56pm - misc - by Pierce (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, it was graduation day, and the very first time I'm hosting an event. When I got on stage, I stared at the audience for a good 5 seconds, then I fainted. FML

#2625677
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44842) - you deserved it (5521)

On 06/05/2009 at 6:48am - misc - by Emcee (man) - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, my baseball team had a game and one of our best players was injured sliding into first. I'm pretty fast so when the coach called my name I grabbed a helmet assuming it was finally my chance to get in the game. Turns out he just wanted me to get ice. The entire team couldn't stop laughing. FML

#2609418
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40100) - you deserved it (4020)

On 06/04/2009 at 7:48pm - misc - by fmlprobot (man) - United States (Maryland)



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