Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my daughter used pledge to clean the wooden staircase. I found out when I tried to walk down them in socks. FML

#3137998
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42292) - you deserved it (4550)

On 06/23/2009 at 2:12am - kids - by FastFlight (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I couldn't sleep and in the process of tossing and turning I did something very painful to my back. I spent 4 years in the marine corps infantry, but laying in a bed kicks my ass. FML

#3137547
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39446) - you deserved it (4552)

On 06/23/2009 at 1:16am - health - by usmcpain (man) - United States

Today, I had an interview with IBM. For a week I did extensive research and preparation for the interview. At first the interview was going really well. I was hitting all the marks. Then just as a final casual question she asked with a smile "What does IBM stand for?". I didn't know. FML

#3134533
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34204) - you deserved it (23716)

On 06/22/2009 at 11:34pm - work - by MrZhang (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boss hired a feng shui consultant for our small office space. I am the only full-time employee besides the owners, and I work as an unpaid intern. My company would rather pay someone to rearrange my desk than pay me to work at it. FML

#3122883
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40863) - you deserved it (3865)

On 06/22/2009 at 4:06pm - work - by Goldo (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had a job interview with a person named Chris. The entire time I couldn't figure out if Chris was a man or woman. The interview went as good as it could have went. At the end I said, "Thank you very much sir." Wrong gender. FML

#3117868
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39528) - you deserved it (17243)

On 06/22/2009 at 12:18pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, McDonalds charged me 21 cents for a honey mustard packet. The jerk manager made me break a $50 bill. So I grabbed all their napkins, carried them into the parking lot and tossed them all into the air in protest and drove off. Down the road, I realized I left my wallet at the counter. FML

#3117856
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13132) - you deserved it (75371)

On 06/22/2009 at 12:18pm - misc - by Jesse (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my 9 year old nephew found his way onto my iTunes. I now have 401 songs titled "aidfj3P" by "ffjiel". FML

#3115220
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55383) - you deserved it (6545)

On 06/22/2009 at 9:32am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, I visited my grandma. She offered me some chips in ziploc bag. I thought they were sour cream and onion chips from the look. They tasted funny, but I didn't want to be rude and I kept eating. I looked closer after a while and noticed that what I thought were chives was actually mold. FML

#3109891
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43992) - you deserved it (8476)

On 06/22/2009 at 1:43am - health - by badeats (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I told my dad I couldn't make the trip to see him this weekend because I had to work. I surprised him by driving ten hours, and while he was out, I let myself in with my key and hid behind the couch for when he came in. He walked in. I jumped out. I then had to call 911. FML

#3109528
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36186) - you deserved it (18525)

On 06/22/2009 at 1:27am - misc - by FathersDay (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking around the park with my wife. Out of nowhere, a little girl on a bicycle slammed in to me, knocking me to the ground. As I rolled over, sure that my ankle was broken, her father ran over to me. He screamed, "Watch where you're going, douchebag!" FML

#3107443
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59231) - you deserved it (2804)

On 06/22/2009 at 12:11am - kids - by Al (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was delivering pizzas for my summer job. I got a big order to deliver for a fellow graduate's party. While I was being paid for the order my friend shows up and says "Don't pay him, his parents are rich, he can handle it." Then they shut the door and took off. The bill was $75. FML

#3100953
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49809) - you deserved it (3273)

On 06/21/2009 at 8:37pm - work - by blahpizzablah (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was shopping for my little sister's birthday. She loves manga. I've never read manga, so I bought a couple of novels from the "popular" shelf. Turns out if they have white covers it means they are "adult" books. I bought my sister a "lolicon" manga - filled with prebuscent naked girls. FML

#3097066
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34935) - you deserved it (20053)

On 06/21/2009 at 6:10pm - kids - by loli-conned (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, as I was texting a friend, I was going to warm up some cold pizza. As I got finished with a text I put the pizza in the microwave and set the timer. After the timer ran out, I opened the door and smelled burnt plastic. Turns out phones aren't meant to be in the microwave. FML

#3083696
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11745) - you deserved it (55720)

On 06/21/2009 at 3:34am - misc - by TBaggins00 (man) - United States (Illilois)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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