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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I stayed up all night to study for my anatomy final at 9 a.m. I studied outside the testing room in the hall all night. Apparently I feel asleep with my headphones as my friend woke me up after walking out of the test asking how I did. 300 classmates walked by and no one woke me up. FML

#1923486
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55035) - you deserved it (10193)

On 05/14/2009 at 3:51am - misc - by peoplesuck (man) - United States

Today, I drove home in my brand new car, hoping to surprise my girlfriend. She came out the house laughing, saying how funny it was, and how I look like a "twollop" in it. Then in all seriousness, she asked me when I was getting my "actual car" back from the garage. FML

#1922061
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33365) - you deserved it (4314)

On 05/14/2009 at 2:07am - misc - by Badnewca (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was wearing my new sunglasses while watching a basketball game. A pretty hot looking girl was sitting a few spots next to me so I stared at her breasts. A few minutes later, I looked up at her face and she was looking at me in disgust. It turns out that my sunglasses were see through. FML

#1912773
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6824) - you deserved it (79740)

On 05/13/2009 at 7:26pm - misc - by rackman007 (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I finally beat the song "Through the Fire and Flames" on Guitar Hero 3. I then realized that it was the biggest accomplishment I've ever made in my entire life. FML

#1909780
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46286) - you deserved it (33883)

On 05/13/2009 at 6:20pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up after a night of partying and went to the bathroom. That’s when I realized that after passing out with my shoes on last night, my friends decided use a black sharpie and play “connect the dots” with my acne. FML

#1905564
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36306) - you deserved it (17412)

On 05/13/2009 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I graduated from college and my parents gave me an apple. Not the computer, the fruit. FML

#1901911
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57323) - you deserved it (4502)

On 05/13/2009 at 1:39pm - misc - by anon (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while teaching English in Korea, my boss gave me a birthday present from her and all of my co-workers. It was a really fancy box. It had very nice wrapping. It had a pretty bow. It was kind of heavy. It was 6 bottles of dandruff shampoo. FML

#1892907
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42061) - you deserved it (7547)

On 05/13/2009 at 12:39am - work - by eslteacher (man) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I gave my 16 year old step daughter and her friends a lecture on respecting other people's privacy. Two hours later, I accidentally walked into her room without knocking. She and her friends were giving each other bikini waxes. Now her friends call me the hypocritical pervert. FML

#1885333
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12363) - you deserved it (70145)

On 05/12/2009 at 8:23pm - kids - by firewait (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while and realized that I can lift way more with my left hand than with my right even though I am right handed. I also realized that I jack off with my left hand. FML

#1881658
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9866) - you deserved it (52206)

On 05/12/2009 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I learned that I have carpal tunnel syndrome. I got it from playing too much World of Warcraft. I got a disease in real life by living in a virtual world. FML

#1879175
368 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22787) - you deserved it (133681)

On 05/12/2009 at 6:05pm - health - by Loser (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boss in my police dept. told me to start enforcing the "no bikes on sidewalks" law which we usually ignore. I pulled up behind the first person I saw riding a bike on a sidewalk and flashed my lights. It turned out to be a boy with down syndrome who was so upset he cried and peed. FML

#1873623
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65550) - you deserved it (11925)

On 05/12/2009 at 2:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



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