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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I saw my grandmother. All of my cousins and I went to say "hi" to her, one by one. When I got up to her and said, "Hi grandma!", she said in Chinese, "I don't remember this one." FML

#6177854
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33980) - you deserved it (2437)

On 11/06/2009 at 1:13am - misc - by ForgottenKid (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got to work in the ER at the local hospital. A lady came in with high blood sugar. She was concerned because the same thing happened to her husband. I reassured her, telling her she'll be back with her husband in an hour or so. Her husband died four years ago from something similar. FML

#6172287
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29577) - you deserved it (7312)

On 11/05/2009 at 7:40pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was doing my paper route. I throw the papers onto people's driveways while sitting on the back of my dad's truck. To be funny my dad decided to suddenly speed up, causing me to fall off the back of the truck, face first onto the road. He didn't realize I fell off and kept driving. FML

#6169373
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34615) - you deserved it (4115)

On 11/05/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by Xero_316 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I spent 65 dollars in cab fare and skipped half of my grade 12 classes, including a unit test, to see my girlfriend on our two year anniversary. I arrived just in time to see her kiss her other boyfriend of over a year good bye. FML

#6168775
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42601) - you deserved it (8878)

On 11/05/2009 at 3:42pm - love - by x (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I re-joined a popular on-line dating service. I first signed up 3 years ago and was matched with a wonderful woman. After about a year, she broke up with me. I was devastated. After two years of trying to win her back, I decided it's best just to move on. Guess who they matched me with? FML

#6166874
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40432) - you deserved it (5177)

On 11/05/2009 at 12:20pm - love - by z (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, before having morning sex, my girlfriend for over a year whispers to me "Do that thing you did at the Halloween party". There was no morning sex as I reminded her that I was sick with the flu then and didn't go with her to the party. FML

#6166479
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29833) - you deserved it (2644)

On 11/05/2009 at 11:38am - intimacy - by James (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I ran out of my usual hand lotion that I use for 'me time'. I instead decided to try and us my after shave lotion as a replacement. Apparently, my member doesn't agree with one of the ingredients, and has now swollen to the size of my fist. FML

#6160580
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7070) - you deserved it (31325)

On 11/04/2009 at 11:17pm - intimacy - by Metime (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I went to our school golf banquet, after being with the team and practicing every day for a few months with them. When it came time to get the certificates, all the names were called out. Except for mine. When I asked the coach where my certificate was, he said "Who are you?". FML

#6158191
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33728) - you deserved it (3152)

On 11/04/2009 at 9:12pm - misc - by RKE (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got a well paying job that requires me to drive around and present a product to potential customers. After going out for a victory meal with friends, I came home to find my car broken into, and my GPS stolen. I need it for the job. FML

#6152336
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28521) - you deserved it (4224)

On 11/04/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was on web cam to my girlfriend who was naked. She turned the web cam to point to the screen for a second and she was also on web cam with another guy. FML

#6151203
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27474) - you deserved it (3046)

On 11/04/2009 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by angry (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I encountered one of my professors from college. Back when I was in his game theory class, he publicly criticized me for falling asleep and not paying attention, to which I retaliated by acing all of his exams. Four years and a degree later, I met him again... while working at Pizza Hut. FML

#6148515
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32716) - you deserved it (12215)

On 11/04/2009 at 7:56am - work - by mylifeisfed (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my roommate decided to fry some bacon. After finishing, he thought it would be easy to clean up if he just tossed the panful of grease out the second story window. Guess where I was standing at the time? FML

#6147856
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38172) - you deserved it (2395)

On 11/04/2009 at 5:12am - misc - by burned (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had an appointment with a psychotherapist. I was feeling very depressed and was telling her how I felt no one cared about me. Her phone rang and she left me mid-sentence to take a call about her new BMW. FML

#6145491
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33851) - you deserved it (3594)

On 11/04/2009 at 12:10am - health - by troubled (man) - United States (California)



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