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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my daughter was telling everyone at her elementry school about my gay partner. Yes, I have a gay partner. He is my work partner and he happens to be gay. FML

#3663410
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52645) - you deserved it (4506)

On 07/11/2009 at 9:14am - misc - by charma (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was involved in a car accident. I wasn't the driver of either car. I happened to be a passerby that was hit by a falling stop sign as a car hit it. FML

#3660807
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51072) - you deserved it (2352)

On 07/11/2009 at 3:43am - misc - by ttsutaoka (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date, and everything was going fine- until the ride home. On the way, I starting having progressively bad stomach pains. Once she left the car, I passed the worst gas that I had ever encountered. As I began to drive, she knocked on the window. She forgot her purse in the car. FML

#3656488
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39909) - you deserved it (4950)

On 07/11/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was playing tennis with my friend. He hit a ball up high, and I slammed it down, thinking there was no way he would get it. Feeling pretty good about it, I turned around to celebrate. As I turned around, I got smacked in my face. He got it. FML

#3655783
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6700) - you deserved it (50299)

On 07/11/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by Name (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my wife and I decided to try a relationship book. The first activity was to write down some things your partner does that bothers you. I made a very long list, then my wife and I swapped papers. She'd written, "nothing, I love everything about you." She read my list and began tearing up. FML

#3648052
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24763) - you deserved it (65734)

On 07/10/2009 at 7:18pm - love - by failhusband (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I woke up from a nap to hear my roommate having some intimate time with his hand. The slopping and slurping sounds along with the girly man squeal as he finished haunted me all day. FML

#3646272
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59141) - you deserved it (3850)

On 07/10/2009 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Iraq (Arbil)

Today, I went to my friend's house for the first time. As I was pulling up, I called him and asked him if I could use his bathroom. He told me to just go in the back and use it, so i did. As i'm sitting on the toilet, someone knocks on the door and asks me who I am. It wasn't my friend's house. FML

#3645311
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51136) - you deserved it (10739)

On 07/10/2009 at 5:22pm - misc - by whitewater_al (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boss came to my cubicle to give me my annual performance bonus. I was asleep at my desk. FML

#3645286
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9228) - you deserved it (55527)

On 07/10/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by ChrisC (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my younger brother, who is 15, had to show me the quickest way to take off a woman's bra. I'm 12 years older than he is. FML

#3642336
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45519) - you deserved it (12412)

On 07/10/2009 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by nerd_man01 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I paid $80 to change my cell number because my ex-girlfriend had been stalking me. To inform all of my friends of the change, I sent a mass text message to everyone in my phonebook. Including my ex. FML

#3642198
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11268) - you deserved it (75392)

On 07/10/2009 at 3:15pm - love - by Blackberry (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "radiance ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "radiance ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML

#3639578
461 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59083) - you deserved it (30748)

On 07/10/2009 at 1:03pm - misc - by takinabreak (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was going to do some laundry, with the washer and dryer I bought off of Craigslist for 150 dollars. The washer leaks and the dryer doesn't dry. So I called the guy and left an angry message about how the washer flooded my kitchen. In fact I just forgot to hook up the drain hose. FML

#3639163
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5277) - you deserved it (55857)

On 07/10/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was talking to my good friend's girlfriend. She mentioned being afraid of losing her job. Because she was still a teenager, I jokingly said, "oh, like you're responsible for a whole family." She is. FML

#3633751
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14072) - you deserved it (45831)

On 07/10/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by Mezzlegasm (man) - United States (Tennessee)



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