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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I turned down an invite to a huge private party that is rarely given to freshmen in college, because I felt bad that I hadn't had a chance to talk to my girlfriend in a couple of days. I called her a couple of hours later. She answered with, "Hey, I'm at a party. I will call you tomorrow?" FML

#5498846
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33284) - you deserved it (19533)

On 09/27/2009 at 1:23am - love - by Dead_Eye (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I thought it would be nice to take my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for my birthday. She got a little headache after we ordered, so she went outside to get some air. I ate a $100 meal and had Happy Birthday sang to me by the restaurant staff. Alone. FML

#5498731
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40778) - you deserved it (3313)

On 09/27/2009 at 1:16am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had lunch with friends I hadn't seen in years. We took a few group shots with my camera, and I went home and downloaded them to my computer. Seeing them on my monitor, I noticed a yellow spot on my black shirt, so I looked down. A big, dried booger was stuck there. FML

#5498467
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26299) - you deserved it (9657)

On 09/27/2009 at 1:00am - misc - by PigPen (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was cuddling on the couch with my girlfriend when I started to tickle her, she asked me to stop but I continued. She had a reaction, and kneed me in the happy sacks. FML

#5494744
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8114) - you deserved it (60229)

On 09/26/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by civicman (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with the cliché of the diamond ring in a champagne glass. Apparently there was an off-duty police officer across the room watching me slip the ring into the glass. He thought I was slipping in a date-rape drug and tackled me down before I could propose. FML

#5494730
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49576) - you deserved it (3857)

On 09/26/2009 at 10:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, was my bachelor party. The only people that showed up were my best man and my father. FML

#5485912
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40616) - you deserved it (3382)

On 09/26/2009 at 2:15pm - misc - by bachelor (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had my first day off in weeks. I was excited about getting to sleep in, until my boss called me at 6:30 in the morning to remind me I didn't have to come into work. Thanks. FML

#5482829
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35455) - you deserved it (2811)

On 09/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by NoSleep (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, there was a traffic accident on the highway which I normally take. I couldn't resist laughing at the driver since he was stupid enough to rear-end someone on the highway. What I didn't realize is that I forgot to pay attention to the road and rear-ended the car in front of me. FML

#5479832
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5450) - you deserved it (71213)

On 09/26/2009 at 2:32am - misc - by scarlet5000 (man) - United States

Today, I told my girlfriend of 9 months that I was ready for marriage and start having kids. She hasn't called or texted me since. FML

#5479094
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15448) - you deserved it (61152)

On 09/26/2009 at 1:34am - love - by bigdawg702 (man) - United States

Today, I went to the restroom at school and when I finished my business, I noticed there was no toilet paper. I then began to wait hoping that a janitor would come by with extra toilet paper. It wasn't until an hour later that I then realized there was 4 extra rolls hidden behind the toilet. FML

#5470398
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9056) - you deserved it (48709)

On 09/25/2009 at 6:09pm - misc - by MyLyfeSux (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was offered a position as a school crossing guard. I have a $200,000 degree in Economics from a top 20 University and was offered a position to hold a stop sign and wear a reflective vest. I was tempted to accept. FML

#5465384
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38281) - you deserved it (6669)

On 09/25/2009 at 12:11pm - work - by UnemployedGrad (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, it was my mother's birthday. My 5 year old brother and 85 year old grandma decided to decorate the house with balloons and a blow up "people" they found in my room. FML

#5464922
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12687) - you deserved it (44365)

On 09/25/2009 at 11:24am - misc - by Needasafe1234 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while brushing my teeth my 5 year old son walks into the bathroom. He gave me a mean look and said, "That Sammy's toothbrush, not yours." I have been brushing my teeth with the dog's toothbrush for two months now. FML

#5464721
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34913) - you deserved it (7710)

On 09/25/2009 at 11:01am - kids - by bigdaddy (man) - United States (New Jersey)



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