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Man or woman?

Taday a friend jokingly asked who in mah relationship weres the pants. My girlfriend replied... "I'm not sure... but I've got photos to prove I don't wear the skirt." FML

#4754202
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8970) - you deserved it (32031)

On 08/23/2009 at 2:54am - love - by Crossy (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today , I was at a friend's party !! All of the sudden , mah friend goes , "Ok girls , get a guy to dance with." Then everyone scrambled to find someone !! There was just enough guy-girl pairs !! This hot girl and I were the only two left !! She looked at me and said , "Umm , I have to use the bathroom." FML

#4752266
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43640) - you deserved it (4096)

On 08/23/2009 at 1:25am - intimacy - by Idontdance (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at my grandfather's house and my car was low on gas. He said I could put some of his gas in my car. He accidentally gave me the wrong tank to pump it out of, and I put fuel in my car that he uses fir his small plane. It never ran better until the engine exploded. FML

#4751851
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31865) - you deserved it (3413)

On 08/23/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by Boltz719 (man) - United States (New York)

Today as I was getting into work I saw a co-worker of mine walking in front of me. We're really good friends an we joke around a lot so I jokingly whistld at him an slappd his butt. Turns out it wasn't my friend it was the new guy. Hello sexual harassment charges. FML

#4751132
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25891) - you deserved it (14746)

On 08/23/2009 at 12:48am - work - by introuble (man) - United States (New York)

Today..!! My Work Finally Hired Someone To Replace Some Leaky Pipes At Work!! I Work In The Basement By Myself..!! And Just As I Walk Under The Newly Fixed Pipes..!! I Get Soaked With Water!! Apparently It Was Connected To A Toilet!! My Boss Couldn't Find A Replacement So They Made Me Work Covered In Piss!! FML

#4748586
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28898) - you deserved it (1947)

On 08/22/2009 at 11:29pm - work - by lifestinks (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I punchd the air enthusiastically after getting an impossible question right. Unfortunately, above me was an old fashiond mole trap, with 6 small spikes and 2 large ones. I now have 6 puncture wounds in hand, and two in shoulder, as it fell off the hook it was hanging on. FML

#4746647
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24204) - you deserved it (7146)

On 08/22/2009 at 10:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, after my partner of two years broke up with me, I decided to have a heart to heart with my mother about it. Her advice was to clean the house. I asked how that would make me feel better. She said that she wasn't sure, but at least the house would be clean. FML

#4744238
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26659) - you deserved it (4122)

On 08/22/2009 at 8:43pm - love - by Loveless (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today,ila watcing a movia wit ma girlfriand, I ad to go to ta batroom . As I raturnd, I tougt it would ba cuta to jump ovar ta sida of ta couc and land naxt to ar . I accidantally landd on ar arm and broka ar wrist . It wasn't as cuta as I axpactd . FML

#4737465
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12371) - you deserved it (34443)

On 08/22/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Idiot (man) - United States (New York)

Today, mah fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" lyk me, told me she was pregnant. FML

#4736198
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49736) - you deserved it (6011)

On 08/22/2009 at 1:46pm - intimacy - by doomed (man) - United States (California)

it was mah brthday. My parents came into mah room at 12:01 to surprise me. Do u knowhat fifteen year olds do at midnight? FML

#4734669
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45451) - you deserved it (23260)

On 08/22/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by urmommmm (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I Decidd To Cook Dinner For Ma Wife And Kid . After A Long Day Of Preperation And Cooking I Askd Tem Wat Tey Tougt Of It . My 12 Year Old Son Ten Says, ( I Would Say It Tastes Like Sit But Not Even Sit Tastes Tis Bad! ) My Wife Ten Laugd And Gave Im A Ig-five . FML

#4728013
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39764) - you deserved it (5342)

On 08/22/2009 at 2:29am - kids - by NoCookForYou (man) - United States (New York)

Taday I took my 15 year old daughter driving. I yelld at her fir not going safely around corners. On the way home,hile demonstrating how to drive right, I went around a corner and hit a cement truck. FML

#4725527
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6455) - you deserved it (51317)

On 08/22/2009 at 1:05am - kids - by John (man) - United States (Colorado)

yesterday I got a report telling me how I had handled a mystery shopper at work. In this report I found out that instead of saying "Thank you" I had said "Have a nice day, take care." This kept me from getting my $150 bonus. FML

#4724946
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41772) - you deserved it (2502)

On 08/22/2009 at 12:43am - work - by elipses (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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