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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I found out I'm balding faster than my dad. I'm 19. FML

#3768794
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51642) - you deserved it (2732)

On 07/15/2009 at 4:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, at 3:00 am, I sat with my 3 year-old adopted daughter while she tried to go back to sleep. She had had a nightmare, and I read that "not leaving" was the most important thing a father could do. My wife woke and called me a pervert for sitting there. FML

#3768718
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61883) - you deserved it (2832)

On 07/15/2009 at 4:02am - kids - by me (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was eating a croissant. After eating half of it and about to take another bite, a spider crawled out of one of the holes of flaky deliciousness and descended down a thread of web to the table, where it scuddled away. There was a whole family of them living in there. FML

#3755395
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56836) - you deserved it (3505)

On 07/14/2009 at 7:57pm - animals - by homedoggieo (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend's mom pulled me aside and started telling me about how her daughter was extremely depressed and suicidal before she met me, and how happy her family is because of me. I was planning on breaking up with her within the next week. FML

#3750994
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48124) - you deserved it (8269)

On 07/14/2009 at 5:10pm - misc - by hungryman (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend of over a year said she has been faking her orgasms since the first time we've had sex. FML

#3746953
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45039) - you deserved it (19125)

On 07/14/2009 at 2:19pm - intimacy - by guess28 (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I was in a music shop looking for a new guitar when someone called out someone else's name and jumped on my back. I lost balance and fell forward and broke 3 guitars and damaged another 6. The guy said "Sorry, thought you were someone else" and ran out. I now have to pay £2500. FML

#3741776
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61592) - you deserved it (2817)

On 07/14/2009 at 9:39am - money - by SomeoneElse (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a pet store to adopt a dog. I got a medium sized lab, a dog crate, and a few toys, then put his crate in the back of my truck and the dog in his crate. On the way home I realized I forgot dog bowls and some dog food. I went back, and when I got back out to my truck, my dog was gone. My stereo too. FML

#3739737
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48637) - you deserved it (7712)

On 07/14/2009 at 4:55am - animals - by doggone (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I came out to my dad. He called me weak minded and said that he has never been more disappointed in me. I didn't come out as gay. I came out as a vegetarian. FML

#3737947
368 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47029) - you deserved it (17380)

On 07/14/2009 at 2:58am - misc - by pkstarstorm (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to clean my walls with those Mr Clean Magic Sponges because we were having visitors. I got bored and started drawing penises with it because they would leave wet marks. There is nothing magic about how slow they dry when your visitors come an hour early. They saw all ten of them. FML

#3723567
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8318) - you deserved it (59634)

On 07/13/2009 at 6:18pm - misc - by iJehx (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I spend two hours inside a bar talking about how I never worry about my boyfriend cheating on me when he travels for work. Everyone told me I was lucky to have such a great relationship. When we all decided to go out on the patio for a smoke, we saw him making out with someone else. FML

#3723359
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55155) - you deserved it (9501)

On 07/13/2009 at 6:09pm - love - by sykotoaster (man) - United States

Today, I proposed to a girl I'd been in love with for 6 years. I filled the balcony of the building where I'd first laid eyes on her with innumerable roses and, under the starlit sky, I did it. She later posted on facebook 'OMG. This geek I knew from high school did the FUNNIEST thing today'. FML

#3720470
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56733) - you deserved it (29571)

On 07/13/2009 at 4:16pm - love - by JackOLantern (man) - Satellite Provider

Today, I woke up in a daze after a long night drinking. I felt a subtle nudge on my shoulder. I was at my ex-girlfriends house, passed out on top of her, with no pants on. Her dad was, in so many words, informing me that I had to leave immediately. FML

#3718923
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10944) - you deserved it (52743)

On 07/13/2009 at 3:06pm - love - by Matt (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my friend posted my picture on Craigslist under the "men seeking men" section. I got 16 replies with 2 hours. He then decided to post another picture of me under "men seeking women" to compare results. The only reply I got was from a man. FML

#3713033
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43834) - you deserved it (3657)

On 07/13/2009 at 9:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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