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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I found out that my father, who is divorced from my mother, has set up a lawsuit against her and that I am required to go to court and testify against her as a witness. I've tried to keep neutral for six years, and I'll go to jail if I don't show up. FML

#3544767
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64471) - you deserved it (2786)

On 07/07/2009 at 1:46am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I decided to get back into shape and go for a run. With a 1/4 mile left to run, I saw a hot chick a block ahead of me running. Trying to show off I ran hard and passed her stopping just outside my complex. I started to throw up right as she came past me because I had run so hard to pass her. FML

#3544165
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8547) - you deserved it (57710)

On 07/07/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by DMO (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, during my shift at a restaurant, my boss's daughter came in. I couldn't help but notice that she was almost popping out of her low-cut top. After having a private chat with her, my boss took me aside and said, "My daughter's got eyes you know, not just a pair of tits". FML

#3533033
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11676) - you deserved it (47789)

On 07/06/2009 at 7:28pm - work - by Cody (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend came over to talk. She just got back from a small vacation. She asked me to feed her dogs while she was gone, so I did. I even stayed with them at times so they wouldnt get lonely. My girlfriend had come over to break up with me. She didn't do so earlier because she needed her dogs fed. FML

#3529390
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54439) - you deserved it (2744)

On 07/06/2009 at 4:27pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I saw a major accident then stopped to help the drivers. I was on my way to a rest stop to use the bathroom so as we were waiting for police I went into the woods and I come out to the police arresting me for public urination. One of the drivers said I was "using the woods for a bathroom." FML

#3528388
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40403) - you deserved it (3942)

On 07/06/2009 at 3:34pm - misc - by JMU (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I come home to find my nephew holding pieces of my new $3,500 Sony Video Camera. He told me he threw it out the window because it was a portal for aliens. FML

#3527232
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48512) - you deserved it (3829)

On 07/06/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by AidenFromSweden (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my sister got her car repossessed. In order to get it back, my mom took $4,000.00 out of my bank account promising she would pay it back within a few months. She lost her job. FML

Today, I was skating with my friends and I decided to go to the gas station to get a pack of cigs. The last thing I remember hearing was "Look out!" I am now with twenty stitches because some idiot bet he could throw a brick farther than another guy. FML

#3522499
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51883) - you deserved it (8038)

On 07/06/2009 at 2:49am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went over to get some ice cream. I found a rare parking spot in front of the store, and even had change in my pocket. After feeding the meter, A lady comes up to me and tells me that the meter was free after 8 o'clock. I paid 50 cents for it. I was 50 cents short for my ice cream. FML

#3517993
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37115) - you deserved it (11260)

On 07/06/2009 at 12:03am - money - by icecreamer (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was snuggling in bed with my girlfriend. She was depressed, so I complimented her strong legs, saying they were "like a horse." I spent the next hour and a half trying to stop her crying. FML

#3517987
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12423) - you deserved it (70614)

On 07/06/2009 at 12:03am - love - by Seabiscuit (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I took my girlfriend to Taco Bell since it's her favorite place to eat. I thought it'd be cute to get one of the sauce packets that says "Will you marry me?" on it and give it to her all cute-like. She thought it was adorable. While we were leaving, she threw it out. FML

#3514129
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30759) - you deserved it (22396)

On 07/05/2009 at 9:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I sent out my monthly curriculum list to the parents of the kids in my math class so they can see what their children will be learning. I usually end my e-mails with the phrase 'math is power'. Now, 154 parents got an e-mail saying 'meth is power'. FML

#3505255
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40391) - you deserved it (21377)

On 07/05/2009 at 2:16pm - misc - by shit... (man) - United States (Georgia)



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