Today, I was at church and saw a blind teenager who obviously felt lost. Feeling like I should help I went over and asked if he needed anything. He said, "I can't find my caretaker." I asked, "What does she look like?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (12054) - you deserved it (54336)
On 02/28/2009 at 2:59am - misc - by wideman (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at the school's rec center, working out for the first time in a while. While there, there was this very mysteriously attractive girl who kept shooting me glances. I asked for her number and she responded by saying "if you can lift this same weight as me". I couldn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31592) - you deserved it (9509)
On 02/28/2009 at 12:03am - misc - by caswell 1 (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my boss said he was giving me a significant raise. After he requested the payroll department to raise my salary they informed him he needed to fill out a one-sheet form. He took my raise away because he didn't want to fill out that sheet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55676) - you deserved it (1721)
On 02/27/2009 at 6:05pm - work - by anabolic (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I flew into New Zealand to surprise my girlfriend on her trip. In the New Zealand Airport I received a text message saying she wanted to break up with me. I live in Michigan and just spent $1,500 for this romantic surprise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (76257) - you deserved it (5619)
On 02/27/2009 at 4:19pm - love - by uthinkucandraw (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I drank for every year I've been in school. While in my bed I decided I was too drunk to get up and throw up in the bathroom so I decided to just do it on my floor and clean it up later. Later on I woke up and realized I threw up on my $1000 laptop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20525) - you deserved it (163084)
On 02/27/2009 at 3:28pm - health - by ugh!! (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I hit a car while trying to answer a phone call from my mom. I quickly answered the phone and shouted "What!?". To which she replied, "I just had a bad feeling in my gut about you so I wanted to make sure you were ok." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39687) - you deserved it (10859)
On 02/27/2009 at 12:43pm - misc - by wwasmer (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I fell out of the shower. It was still on. Bracing my fall, I reached into the toilet. It wasn't flushed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37906) - you deserved it (11563)
On 02/27/2009 at 10:18am - misc - by Ackbar (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was at the beach with my buddy. Messing around, he swam up behind me and dunked me under the water. Naturally, moments later I swam behind him, grabbed both his ankles and stood up, flipping him completely, only to see him watching me from a few feet away. I flipped a 70 year old man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14214) - you deserved it (39544)
On 02/27/2009 at 1:03am - misc - by beachbum (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I went to go get a haircut and I asked how much it was for a haircut, shampoo, and a blow job. I meant to say blow dry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14101) - you deserved it (43011)
On 02/26/2009 at 6:21pm - misc - by Stixchop (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had a performance evaluation meeting with my boss. He told me I was the best in my department, and that the productivity has never been higher before I started working here. Oh, and he said that because everything is working so well, they don't need me as much, so he's cutting my hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47065) - you deserved it (1754)
On 02/26/2009 at 12:05pm - work - by lolgarbl (man) - United States (California)
Today, I knew my girlfriend was having a bad day. I went to bring her frozen yogurt at work because she loves it. When I was in the elevator, I overheard her colleague saying that the reason she was upset was because she had been cheating on her boyfriend with her new intern. FML
I agree, your life sucks (84194) - you deserved it (2680)
On 02/26/2009 at 12:01pm - love - by froyo (man) - United States
Today, I went on the best date I've been on in years. Later on, over drinks we get talking and I explain how I came out to my friends and family. When I ask him how he came out, he replies that he isn't gay, and oh, did I think this was a date? FML
I agree, your life sucks (48473) - you deserved it (9128)
On 02/26/2009 at 9:56am - love - by thetheatreguy (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, an extremely large lady came into the dry cleaners where I work. She puts what I assume is a blanket on the counter to be dry cleaned. I said, "So just the one blanket then?" She replied, "Those are my pants, not a blanket." She was a size 56. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19675) - you deserved it (31722)
On 02/26/2009 at 9:13am - work - by Kasizzle (man) - United States (Colorado)
Friday 24 May 2013
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