Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was on my girlfriend's computer. When searching on google, her browsing history popped up. The first thing was "Best positions for a small penis." FML

#3691268
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84019) - you deserved it (13020)

On 07/12/2009 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by wtf (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I spent hours and hours trying to figure out why the wireless internet on my laptop wasn't working, but everything I tried completely failed. At the end of the day, my older brother came home, and fixed the problem in under 10 seconds by turning the wireless internet switch on. FML

#3690110
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8466) - you deserved it (52525)

On 07/12/2009 at 10:46am - misc - by divineinstrument (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I had a check-up with my dermatologist. When I took off my pants, she noticed a small mark on my penis and was concerned. I had to inform her that it was not in fact a mole, but a bruise from getting it stuck in a Snapple bottle two days prior to the check-up. FML

#3686221
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9238) - you deserved it (71056)

On 07/12/2009 at 3:07am - health - by Best-stuf-on-Earth (man) - United States (California)

Today, I asked the girl I am in love with out on a date. She asked me for my name. FML

#3685752
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47680) - you deserved it (10394)

On 07/12/2009 at 2:45am - love - by nameless (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend, who never initiates sex, pulled me into my room and onto my bed with kisses and other seductive behavior. As I'm thinking about how awesome it is that's she's doing this for once, she reaches down, grabs my underwear, and gives me the worst wedgie I've ever received. FML

#3684210
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69613) - you deserved it (12233)

On 07/12/2009 at 1:38am - intimacy - by robinhoood (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the water park, and got in a line on a staircase to get on a waterslide. A couple minutes in, I feel a large amount of warm liquid drip on my head. Seconds later, a crying girl was being lead down the stairs being told that 'everyone wets themselves sometimes'. FML

#3681487
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51032) - you deserved it (2258)

On 07/12/2009 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML

#3669335
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48043) - you deserved it (7971)

On 07/11/2009 at 3:38pm - intimacy - by policeopenup (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my daughter was telling everyone at her elementry school about my gay partner. Yes, I have a gay partner. He is my work partner and he happens to be gay. FML

#3663410
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52560) - you deserved it (4500)

On 07/11/2009 at 9:14am - misc - by charma (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was involved in a car accident. I wasn't the driver of either car. I happened to be a passerby that was hit by a falling stop sign as a car hit it. FML

#3660807
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51005) - you deserved it (2346)

On 07/11/2009 at 3:43am - misc - by ttsutaoka (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date, and everything was going fine- until the ride home. On the way, I starting having progressively bad stomach pains. Once she left the car, I passed the worst gas that I had ever encountered. As I began to drive, she knocked on the window. She forgot her purse in the car. FML

#3656488
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39487) - you deserved it (4892)

On 07/11/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was playing tennis with my friend. He hit a ball up high, and I slammed it down, thinking there was no way he would get it. Feeling pretty good about it, I turned around to celebrate. As I turned around, I got smacked in my face. He got it. FML

#3655783
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6675) - you deserved it (50237)

On 07/11/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by Name (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my wife and I decided to try a relationship book. The first activity was to write down some things your partner does that bothers you. I made a very long list, then my wife and I swapped papers. She'd written, "nothing, I love everything about you." She read my list and began tearing up. FML

#3648052
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24720) - you deserved it (65652)

On 07/10/2009 at 7:18pm - love - by failhusband (man) - United States (Utah)



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