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Man or woman?

Today,hile giving a lecture about gases to a large chemistry class, I went outside to let loose an unusualy loud farthile they took some notes. I cummd back in only to see 300 students dying of laughter. I had left the wreless mic on. FML

#5033555
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14396) - you deserved it (42168)

On 09/04/2009 at 12:30am - work - by DrGas (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today I skippd class to take the girl I like to the airport an after giving her a goodbye hug I kissd her on the cheek. She laughd an said "Maybe we should discuss some boundaries when I get back." FML

#5030993
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40430) - you deserved it (7310)

On 09/03/2009 at 10:47pm - love - by strikeout (man) - United States (Texas)

today girlfriend called me an told me to come to her college, so I did. I was greeted by the campus police who told me to stop harassing her cuz she no longer wants to be with me. Then they told me I was no longer welcome on campus an hereby banned. She used campus police to dump me. FML

#5029285
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49385) - you deserved it (2919)

On 09/03/2009 at 9:45pm - love - by Wow (man) - United States

TODAY, MY GIRLFRIEND REACHD INTO MY POCKET TO GET MY KEYS SO SHE COULD GET SOMETHING OUT OF MY CAR . WHEN SHE YANKD THEM OUT, THE CONDOM THAT WE JUST USD FLEW UP INTO THE AIR AND LANDD ON THE FLOOR IN FRONT OF HER ENTIRE FAMILY . FAT FML

#5023089
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13652) - you deserved it (55406)

On 09/03/2009 at 4:59pm - misc - by Co-B (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today , I tried to was cat in te sower , conveniently naked myself. He disapproved , scratcing man-parts an nicking a vien. I just got back from te ospital wit a blood infection , swollen nuts , an an ole in buttere I ad to get a sot of antibiotics. FML

#5021908
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15453) - you deserved it (65910)

On 09/03/2009 at 3:55pm - health - by keeperstride (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking through my house when I saw a strange man sitting on my couch. I askd him who he was and he said he was a friend of my mom's. He told me to join him and when I sat down, he punchd me in the face and stole my cell phone, wallet, and car keys. big fat FML

#5021178
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56356) - you deserved it (21797)

On 09/03/2009 at 3:09pm - misc - by robbed (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, walking home from work, I saw a little boy crying, so I crouched down to his eye level. I asked him what was wrong, his reply was to kick me in the groin. FML

#5016488
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39623) - you deserved it (5384)

On 09/03/2009 at 6:19am - kids - by Annoymous (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I had to sit 4 an hour listening to mah girlfriend talk to her ex about his testicles. She laughed more during that conversation than she ever has with me. FML

#5015419
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37520) - you deserved it (5603)

On 09/03/2009 at 3:23am - love - by aftermath1991 (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today , I was driving home from work and noticd the car behind me was tailgating me pretty badly. I was starting to get angry with the driver , and kept glancing in my rear view mirror at him. While I was doing so , the traffic ahead of me stoppd , and I rear-endd the car in front of me. FML

#5013382
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9473) - you deserved it (38751)

On 09/03/2009 at 12:54am - misc - by FenderBender (man) - Canada (Ontario)

TODAY, I FIGURED OUT THAT A $40 PHONE CASE DOES NOT PROTECT YOUR $500 PHONE FROM A FIVE YEAR OLD THROWING IT OFF A FOURTH STORY BALCONY. FML

#5012990
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39009) - you deserved it (8020)

On 09/03/2009 at 12:37am - kids - by eagerbeaver (man) - United States

Today... I fell asleep in class. Usually... people just sit still when asleep. Nope... not me. Not only had I been violently rocking an nodding mah head... the teacher stopped class for everyone to see for 5 minutes as she made jokes. What woke me? The intense laughter followed by embarrassment. FML

#5003582
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19026) - you deserved it (30842)

On 09/02/2009 at 6:17pm - misc - by Math_Rocker (man) - United States (Indiana)

TODAY, I WENT TO MY SCHOOL TO TAKE MY YEREBOOK PICTURE. I WAS WEREING A SHRT THAT SAID ANALOG ON THE FRONT. WHEN I BENT IN TO TAKE THE PICTURE, PART OF MY SHRT OVERLAPPED ITSELF. NOW I'M KNOWN AS THE ANAL KID IN THE YEREBOOK. FML

#5002532
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39845) - you deserved it (17379)

On 09/02/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by boytoy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, Wen We Were At Wrestling Practice, We Ad To Bend Over To Stretc. Wen I Bent Down, I Noticed A Car On Te Street Stopped. Tere Was A Sixty Year Old Man Watcing Us. He Ten Licked Is Lips And Drove Away. FML

#5001018
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39488) - you deserved it (3741)

On 09/02/2009 at 4:07pm - work - by iceman123432 (man) - United States (Texas)



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