Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, me and my girlfriend were riding on my motorcycle. While at a stop light, she started to make these weird noises. Turns out she was having an orgasm. I still can't give her one. FML

#6534520
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28168) - you deserved it (5934)

On 11/30/2009 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I overhead my mother's request to be spanked harder by my dad. FML

#6532125
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31044) - you deserved it (2811)

On 11/30/2009 at 11:51am - intimacy - by NeedHeadPhone (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got the repair estimate for my car. It is going to cost me $3,000 to rebuild the front end. It was wrecked because a couple decided to have a lovers spat in the middle of the freeway. I had that car for exactly four hours. FML

#6527838
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32148) - you deserved it (2534)

On 11/30/2009 at 2:07am - misc - by Dante (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while flying on American Airlines back from visiting family, a new born puked its breakfast all over my HP mini, knocked my orange juice ino my lap, and than coughed up another layer on top of it all. I couldn't change my pants because of we were about to experience turbulance. FML

#6527445
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38672) - you deserved it (2953)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:34am - kids - by coloradoman (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got fired. By my father. He wants me to drive him to work tomorrow. FML

#6517705
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33814) - you deserved it (3418)

On 11/29/2009 at 6:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went hiking with my friend. We both had to pee really bad. We went to the edge of a cliff to "relieve ourselves". He peed and it came and hit me in the face, he did it on purpose. So, I decided to get him back and peed at him. The wind changed direction and hit me in the face again. FML

#6517380
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16550) - you deserved it (42307)

On 11/29/2009 at 5:53pm - misc - by Harry (man) - United States (California)

Today, my ceiling fan was rocking violently so I turned it off. I stood under it trying to figure out what the problem is, it fell on my face. FML

#6512004
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34831) - you deserved it (12634)

On 11/29/2009 at 11:57am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was shopping at the grocery market and was next in line. Behind me was a woman who only had two items, so I nicely let her in front of me, as it looked like she was in a hurry. When she was all rung up, she decided to pay her $16.45 in loose change which needed to be counted out. FML

#6510411
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32335) - you deserved it (6037)

On 11/29/2009 at 8:49am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, me and my girlfriend went and saw "The Blind Side." I sobbed throughout the entire movie. My girlfriend didn't shed a tear. FML

#6509087
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28977) - you deserved it (15511)

On 11/29/2009 at 4:33am - love - by jimmyt420 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my friend accidentally left her facebook logged onto my computer after she left my house. I looked on her facebook and found a very long message between her and my other friends talking about how much they hate me. FML

#6506923
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42860) - you deserved it (8325)

On 11/29/2009 at 1:31am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I learned it is best not to let your cordless mouse die while secretly watching porn right when your mom walks in. FML

#6501664
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10661) - you deserved it (29726)

On 11/28/2009 at 9:11pm - intimacy - by nickyy (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my girlfriend's parents wanted to cook dinner for me. After a whole day of cooking up a storm, her parents cooked an elaborate meal of roast lamb, pork chops and grilled chicken. Rejecting a meal is like spitting in ones face in Chinese culture. I'm vegetarian. FML

#6500045
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36146) - you deserved it (14268)

On 11/28/2009 at 7:40pm - misc - by NickC (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I felt fairly depressed about being single for the holidays during work. This cute girl came to my register asking about our sales ad. After telling her we had no copies, she asked for my number. I shouted: "Finally, someone wants to go out with me." She wanted the store's number to call. FML

#6497714
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12347) - you deserved it (47369)

On 11/28/2009 at 5:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)



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