Today, after working for my company for 10 years, my co-workers threw me a farewell party. The boss gave quite an eloquent speech, ending in "we're really gonna miss you Mark." My name is Evan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55111) - you deserved it (2175)
On 02/28/2009 at 7:50pm - work - by Grrrrr (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my dad had gotten a new cell phone. So I started to mess around with the cool features on his phone and stumbled upon some pictures he had taken. Next thing I know I'm looking at my mom going down on my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41497) - you deserved it (20330)
On 02/28/2009 at 7:33pm - misc - by AppState (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my fiancée broke up with me. Via a myspace message. While we were in the same apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (278210) - you deserved it (22655)
On 02/28/2009 at 7:22pm - love - by loser (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I went to get a sports physical at a hospital. My nurse was morbidly obese and unattractive. She told me she would go through the tests listed on the sheet. She did everything, including feeling my genitalia. When it was done, I read over the sheet. Genitalia wasn't a test listed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (126474) - you deserved it (3736)
On 02/28/2009 at 4:58pm - health - by TahRah (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was stepping out of the shower while home alone. I heard voices coming from the living room. I grabbed a bat to defend my self and ran into the living room. I slipped on my tile floor and smashed my TV with the bat. No one was in my house but I left my radio turned on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14980) - you deserved it (38374)
On 02/28/2009 at 8:08am - misc - by Slipperywhenwet (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was at church and saw a blind teenager who obviously felt lost. Feeling like I should help I went over and asked if he needed anything. He said, "I can't find my caretaker." I asked, "What does she look like?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (12049) - you deserved it (54330)
On 02/28/2009 at 2:59am - misc - by wideman (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at the school's rec center, working out for the first time in a while. While there, there was this very mysteriously attractive girl who kept shooting me glances. I asked for her number and she responded by saying "if you can lift this same weight as me". I couldn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31587) - you deserved it (9509)
On 02/28/2009 at 12:03am - misc - by caswell 1 (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my boss said he was giving me a significant raise. After he requested the payroll department to raise my salary they informed him he needed to fill out a one-sheet form. He took my raise away because he didn't want to fill out that sheet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55665) - you deserved it (1720)
On 02/27/2009 at 6:05pm - work - by anabolic (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I flew into New Zealand to surprise my girlfriend on her trip. In the New Zealand Airport I received a text message saying she wanted to break up with me. I live in Michigan and just spent $1,500 for this romantic surprise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (76248) - you deserved it (5619)
On 02/27/2009 at 4:19pm - love - by uthinkucandraw (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I drank for every year I've been in school. While in my bed I decided I was too drunk to get up and throw up in the bathroom so I decided to just do it on my floor and clean it up later. Later on I woke up and realized I threw up on my $1000 laptop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20511) - you deserved it (163027)
On 02/27/2009 at 3:28pm - health - by ugh!! (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I hit a car while trying to answer a phone call from my mom. I quickly answered the phone and shouted "What!?". To which she replied, "I just had a bad feeling in my gut about you so I wanted to make sure you were ok." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39686) - you deserved it (10859)
On 02/27/2009 at 12:43pm - misc - by wwasmer (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I fell out of the shower. It was still on. Bracing my fall, I reached into the toilet. It wasn't flushed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37899) - you deserved it (11563)
On 02/27/2009 at 10:18am - misc - by Ackbar (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was at the beach with my buddy. Messing around, he swam up behind me and dunked me under the water. Naturally, moments later I swam behind him, grabbed both his ankles and stood up, flipping him completely, only to see him watching me from a few feet away. I flipped a 70 year old man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14211) - you deserved it (39541)
On 02/27/2009 at 1:03am - misc - by beachbum (man) - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
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