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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, a customer filed a complaint against me because my coworker took too long to do a price check. I hate my job. FML

#21517333
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19442) - you deserved it (1211)

On 01/20/2016 at 10:32am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally let out a silent but obscenely deadly fart in the doctor's waiting room. It was so foul that a woman got insanely pissed at her kid because she thought he'd shat his pants again. FML

#21517322
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19571) - you deserved it (3166)

On 01/20/2016 at 9:27am - kids - by lambeaster (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I got a new roommate. He's from Mongolia. He has had 5 friends over for the last 7 hours, all speaking Mongolian. This is the most awkward party I have ever been to. FML

#21517225
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18776) - you deserved it (1621)

On 01/20/2016 at 12:42am - misc - by Sittinginthecorner (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, a girl in my class introduced herself to me for the fourth time this semester. Am I really that invisible? FML

#21517019
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20823) - you deserved it (1693)

On 01/19/2016 at 3:07pm - misc - by Mr_Yato (man) - United States

Today, my roommate thought it was a good idea to set my beard on fire to wake me up. FML

#21516693
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19735) - you deserved it (1456)

On 01/18/2016 at 6:42pm - misc - by meh beard (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up from an amazing dream I was having about my girlfriend. We were laughing and holding hands, the kind of dream I wanted to stay asleep for. When I finally got up, I was excited to tell her about the dream but then I remembered. We broke up a week ago. FML

#21516669
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22313) - you deserved it (1538)

On 01/18/2016 at 5:30pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I stopped a guy from running under a moving London bus. No-one else saw what happened. How did the guy thank me? He wanted to fight me because I made him miss the bus I just saved him from. FML

#21516653
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16945) - you deserved it (1253)

On 01/18/2016 at 4:13pm - misc - by ukrukus (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while entering in my college building, I noticed that my right shoelace was untied and I tied it. I didn't realize that just in front of me was a metal beam until I hit my head hard on it and a loud, reverberating sound was produced. Many people saw what happened. FML

#21516540
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18079) - you deserved it (2603)

On 01/18/2016 at 9:24am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Philippines (Benguet)

Today, I reached down to pet an elderly man's dog. It jumped up and utterly mauled my face, drawing blood. As I gasped in shock and pain, the man looked me straight in the eye and said: "Careful, he likes to scratch." FML

#21516156
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18462) - you deserved it (9680)

On 01/17/2016 at 5:02am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I finished a 2 hour Skype call with my girlfriend, only to realize I was using mobile data. FML

#21515848
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21429) - you deserved it (7043)

On 01/16/2016 at 7:54am - love - by tye61 (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for another guy by text. I felt so betrayed, I stupidly tried to hurt her by replying that I'd been cheating on her all along with a hot babe. Turned out the dumping text was actually a prank by her friend. Now I'm single and everyone thinks I'm a cheater. FML

#21515762
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14322) - you deserved it (26358)

On 01/16/2016 at 12:04am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, at college, I asked the girl who usually sits next to me if she wanted to team up on our latest assignment. She gave me a disgusted look, said "Um, I'm MARRIED. Creep." and walked away. Seriously, what the fuck? FML

#21515729
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22718) - you deserved it (1311)

On 01/15/2016 at 10:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after being in a committed relationship for five years, I just found out that my girlfriend's parents have no idea that we are together. She says she "forgot" to tell them. FML



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