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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my wife was in seemingly never-ending labor. It got so bad, I overheard a nurse in the doorway mutter to a coworker that she hoped my baby would just die or something, so she could finally go take a smoke break. FML

#21439756
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35477) - you deserved it (1695)

On 07/10/2015 at 9:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I finally finished downloading a 60GB TV series after two weeks of waiting. Every single "episode" turned out to be Rick Astley singing Never Gonna Give You Up, on constant repeat. I almost respect the prankster's effort enough to not want to gut him like a fish. Almost. FML

#21439737
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27663) - you deserved it (7329)

On 07/10/2015 at 8:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, it's my birthday. What did I get? A 12-hour work shift, after spending an almost sleepless night in a computer chair because my bed is infested with bed bugs. FML

#21439671
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23884) - you deserved it (2336)

On 07/10/2015 at 6:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was having computer problems, so I let my friend have remote access to fix them. We were video-chatting on Skype at the time, and so he thought it'd be hilarious to load hardcore porn in my browser the moment he saw my mom enter the room from behind me. I'm now grounded. FML

#21439587
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23632) - you deserved it (2896)

On 07/10/2015 at 2:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, as always, I have a type of eczema that flares up when I'm stressed out or anxious. And today, the girl I've been in love with for 4 years asked me out on a date. We meet up in a few hours, and right now I look like I have smallpox. FML

#21439553
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24646) - you deserved it (1451)

On 07/10/2015 at 1:07pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was finally starting to relax after a stressful and expensive move, where I had to give up half my belongings and furniture, as well as my cat. All the stress came rushing back as my new landlord told me that he's selling the building and I've got 30 days to vacate. FML

#21439528
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25482) - you deserved it (1866)

On 07/10/2015 at 11:49am - misc - by Stevarious (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had 3 teeth pulled. Due to the anaesthesia, my mom came along to drive me home. Halfway through my surgery, she decided to leave and go shopping with her friend. She even left a note with the receptionist, saying that I needed to take on my own adult responsibilities. FML

#21439124
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27078) - you deserved it (1520)

On 07/09/2015 at 5:12pm - health - by gerbilmaster (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, after breaking up with my girlfriend of 3 years a few months ago, my boys convinced me to go out with the cute girl I had been talking to on Tinder. However, she wasn't cute, or a girl. He robbed me. FML

#21439092
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24735) - you deserved it (4666)

On 07/09/2015 at 3:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I'm so out of shape that I got winded from getting out of bed. FML

#21438468
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17923) - you deserved it (15981)

On 07/08/2015 at 11:16am - health - by Jack Shart Jr. (man) - United States

Today, my new antidepressants finally kicked in. I switched to them to try to control my anxiety. Turns out that the most common side effect, funnily enough, is nervousness. Guess I should've done more research. FML

#21438172
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19324) - you deserved it (3824)

On 07/07/2015 at 8:52pm - health - by BigHelp (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to an important job interview, only to be told I'm not what such a "prestigious" company was looking for. This from a pimply-faced 20-something who took a personal call on speakerphone mid-interview, and actually said "lmao" out loud at his friend's joke. FML

#21436559
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24579) - you deserved it (1787)

On 07/05/2015 at 12:04am - work - by jobless1 (man) -

Today, I took an online IQ test, even though I knew they give everyone unrealistically high scores. My score was 73. FML

#21436113
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21458) - you deserved it (5047)

On 07/03/2015 at 11:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my extremely religious mom ranted at me, saying I'd only bought an electric toothbrush so I could masturbate with it. I'm a guy. FML

#21435969
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27194) - you deserved it (1834)

On 07/03/2015 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by but cum to think of it... (man) -



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