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Today, after having a few beers at a bar, I gave my ticket to the valet to get my car. I tipped the man $2 and he gave me a huge smile and thanked me a lot as I left. I thought the guy was just really appreciative for those $2 until I got home and saw one of the $100 bills in my wallet was gone. FML

#4546368
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11807) - you deserved it (52085)

On 08/15/2009 at 9:56am - money - by whooops (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was very sick and kept throwing up. I took a shower after every time I threw up. While in the shower after I threw up, I had to throw up again, so I got out and ran to the toilet. I slipped on the tile, broke my nose on the floor, and then threw up. FML

#4543723
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51627) - you deserved it (9810)

On 08/15/2009 at 3:51am - health - by Ouch (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, on my wedding day, when they said "you may kiss the bride", I swung my wife over in the romantic fashion and went in for the kiss. Unfortunately my hands were sweaty as I was nervous and she slipped under my grip. She fell and was knocked unconscious in front of hundreds of people. FML

#4543711
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46735) - you deserved it (17584)

On 08/15/2009 at 3:50am - love - by slipperyhands (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got dumped by my girlfriend of 4 years because I didn't know the exact amount of days that we'd been together. FML

#4541155
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58999) - you deserved it (6432)

On 08/15/2009 at 1:30am - love - by fmexgirlfriend (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my drunk uncle threw my brand new iPhone 3GS into my pool, ruining it completely. When I asked him to pay for the 600 dollar replacement cost, he said he wasn't responsible for his drunken actions. All of my family members are on his side. FML

#4539683
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67911) - you deserved it (3850)

On 08/15/2009 at 12:32am - money - by Shadyblood (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I met my girlfriend's extended family for the first time. Her family kept telling her how much I looked and acted like her older brother and I'm guessing by the end of the day she agreed because now she pulls away and gags when I try to kiss her. FML

#4534707
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47811) - you deserved it (2398)

On 08/14/2009 at 9:14pm - love - by BFfail (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after dating my girlfriend for about a month she decided to change her Facebook status to taken. When I saw the update I immediately clicked "Like." Then I looked up and saw I wasn't the person she had put herself in the relationship with. FML

#4533889
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46933) - you deserved it (4950)

On 08/14/2009 at 8:39pm - love - by waitthatsnotme (man) - United States (California)

Today, while working as a parking booth attendant I decided to be nice and offer a woman free parking. I said, "give me a high five and I'll give you free parking since I already did the paper work." She said, "I'd rather pay," with a really disgusted look. I also had to redo the paper work. FML

#4533518
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39261) - you deserved it (7665)

On 08/14/2009 at 8:19pm - work - by ParkingGuy (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I literally stopped traffic. I was crossing the street and a butterfly landed on me. Being phobic of butterflies, I had a panic attack in the middle of the road. Oh, and I am 17, captain of our football team, and in very good shape. My girlfriend laughed the hardest. FML

#4525487
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40384) - you deserved it (21408)

On 08/14/2009 at 1:10pm - animals - by Butterflyguy (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I finally went to Home Depot to buy a chainsaw to cut down the tree leaning dangerously over my garage. When I got home, I found the tree had fallen and taken out the roof while I was shopping. FML

#4525177
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41562) - you deserved it (7433)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:54pm - misc - by ragsy (man) - United States (California)

Today, my wife decided she didn't want to lose weight with me. We were trying to decide on a reward for each pound lost. I suggested sex as the reward. She felt it wasn't fair to punish her just because I lost weight. FML

#4524259
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47537) - you deserved it (7181)

On 08/14/2009 at 11:53am - intimacy - by seeminglyunsexy (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I fractured my knuckle at the gym. My girlfriend offered to drive me to Urgent Care. As I threw my gym bag in the car, my keys flew out of the bag's pocket and hit her in the face. I spent the whole afternoon getting dirty looks from nurses because of my broken hand and her black eye. FML

#4523157
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58471) - you deserved it (4878)

On 08/14/2009 at 10:26am - love - by Anon (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, at a restaurant, I noticed a really hot girl leaving with her friend. A few minutes later they came back, laughing uncontrollably, and announced that some moron forgot to put on their parking brake and the car was rolling into the full parking lot. It was my car. They watched me chase it. FML

#4520748
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14787) - you deserved it (35637)

On 08/14/2009 at 4:29am - misc - by whoneedsdumbcars (man) - United States (Missouri)



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