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Today, I was alone with a work acquaintance at lunch. A noise came from his pocket; he whipped out his iPod Touch and said "Sorry, I have to take this," before walking away with the iPod to his ear. Not only did he not want to talk to me, he thought I was stupid enough to confuse an iPod with a phone. FML

#4446947
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41940) - you deserved it (13703)

On 08/11/2009 at 8:17am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had a horrible breakup with my girlfriend of two years. Depressed, I changed my Facebook status to, "Hate me today, hate me tomorrow, hate me for all the things I didn't do for you." My ex commented, "Give me an orgasm?" Five of my friends, including my mom, liked this. FML

#4443925
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46233) - you deserved it (21119)

On 08/11/2009 at 2:40am - love - by JazzSpazz (man) - United States (California)

Today, my parents decided to visit me. When I first got my apartment I gave them a key "just in case" and today they used this key to enter when I didn't answer their knocking. I didn't answer because I was having sex with my boyfriend. My parents saw everything. They didn't know I was gay. FML

Today, a patient was late for a psychiatry appointment, after having missed his previous two. I am the medical student on the team that was supposed to do his assessment. I said, "You snooze, you lose." Everyone stopped and looked at me. Apparently, he missed them because he has narcolepsy. FML

#4433335
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13481) - you deserved it (44208)

On 08/10/2009 at 6:48pm - health - by psychedout (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, a friend of mine was talking about how he'd spent over 30 hours on Call of Duty. I piped up and said "Oh yeah! Well I've spent well over 300 hours on Morrowind! Beat that!" To which he replied, "I've had sex. Beat that!" I couldn't. FML

#4432884
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22410) - you deserved it (62771)

On 08/10/2009 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Morrowindwhore (man) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I came home early from business trip in Paris, I bought an engagement ring. I was going to take my girlfriend of 2 years out and propose to her. I sneak into my house as a surprise and she's having it off with another man. Now I have a ring that I can only return in France. FML

#4431065
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56321) - you deserved it (3582)

On 08/10/2009 at 4:47pm - love - by theboy6494 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I bought a new computer. I gave my old one to my mother. After handing it over and going home, I realised I forgot to change the background picture, a naked photo of my girlfriend. FML

#4426639
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8142) - you deserved it (61424)

On 08/10/2009 at 12:41pm - misc - by picaboo (man) - Singapore

Today, I found out I need serious surgery on my right knee to remove a tumor growing underneath it. I will not be able to walk for 3 weeks, and the doctor told me to take off for 5 months from work just for full recovery. My father's response, "You'll do anything not to work." FML

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

#4421825
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75811) - you deserved it (6561)

On 08/10/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that because of my new medication, I can either avoid getting malaria, or have a male yeast infection. I'm stuck in Africa for the next two months, and have to sit down to pee because I don't want to irritate my penis by touching it. FML

#4421070
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40635) - you deserved it (3091)

On 08/10/2009 at 2:27am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Ghana (Volta)

Today, I was having a serious discussion with my girlfriend of 11 months. I broke the news that I was diagnosed with Lymphoma and I needed her support through my treatments. Ten minutes after, I receive a text saying that she can't endure the pain and stress that I'm causing her, and that we're done. FML

#4418486
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62303) - you deserved it (2827)

On 08/10/2009 at 12:41am - health - by Very_Bad_Luck (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I gave my girlfriend a small stun gun I bought for her. She mentioned how she thought it was ''cute'', though it probably wouldn't help if someone was after her. She then put the tazer to my chest. When I woke up, she told me how it was my fault, for buying it for her. FML

#4414579
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43522) - you deserved it (12276)

On 08/09/2009 at 10:13pm - health - by Ducati (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out the hot girl I'd been flirting with on Facebook is actually 3 10-year-olds who created a fake profile to see how many desperate losers would try to hook up with her. FML

#4412595
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11778) - you deserved it (62647)

On 08/09/2009 at 7:54pm - misc - by pwndbykidz (man) - Canada (Alberta)



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