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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I learned that my building never received my rent check. Now not only do I have to pay a $40 late fee, but also a $40 fee to stop the payment of the check that went god knows where. FML

#6764410
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26492) - you deserved it (2998)

On 12/15/2009 at 1:18pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my family and I were decorating the Christmas tree. It seemed a bit unstable, but we decorated it without any problems. Later, while my daughter sat by the tree, it began to fall. Her grandmother stopped the tree from hitting her. I, on the other hand, screamed like a little girl. I'm a 38 year old guy. FML

#6763164
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8796) - you deserved it (32134)

On 12/15/2009 at 10:06am - misc - by wjones (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a movie with a girl I went to high school with. There was a preview for an upcoming 3D movie. I asked her if she had ever seen a 3D movie before. She told me she couldn't because she is blind in one eye. Apparently it's a "sensitive subject." FML

#6762994
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29710) - you deserved it (4656)

On 12/15/2009 at 9:49am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had my six month employee review. My manager said that my attendance was good, and I was exceeding my targets performance wise. My reward, a five cent per hour pay cut. Apparently the rate at which I started is too high to meet their current pay scale. FML

#6762044
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28239) - you deserved it (2038)

On 12/15/2009 at 6:42am - work - by Talvesh (man) - United States

Today, I was at the airport getting ready to go to Hawaii. The guy at the counter said my flight was delayed. It turns out that the flight that was delayed was a flight going to Miami. My flight left at the regular time, and my luggage was on it, because I checked in the night before. FML

#6761430
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29524) - you deserved it (3505)

On 12/15/2009 at 4:23am - money - by dJ21 (man) - Guam

Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML

#6761205
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19279) - you deserved it (30454)

On 12/15/2009 at 3:32am - love - by Proof-Reader (man) - United States (California)

Today, my roommate drew a giant red penis and scrotum on our refrigerator, using what he thought was a dry erase marker. It was a permanent marker. I just renewed my lease. I get to look at a red penis every day for the next year and a half. FML

#6760576
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26249) - you deserved it (4846)

On 12/15/2009 at 2:08am - misc - by Will (man) - United States

Today, after months of constant encouragement from my friends, I went and entered a singing contest. I sang and was booed off stage. Later on I found out my friends lied to me about my ability to sing, just so I could give them a cheap laugh. FML

#6759322
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29984) - you deserved it (6338)

On 12/15/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by Dean (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was at my 10 year high school reunion. I saw the girl I used to have a BIG crush on, so I decided to go over and say hi. She screams when she sees me. Then, she starts hitting me, looking panicked. I control her and ask why she's hitting me. She says 'Everyone thought you were dead!' FML

#6753136
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41327) - you deserved it (2584)

On 12/14/2009 at 4:21pm - misc - by Ghost (man) - United States

Today, I was taking the final exam for one of my classes. The teacher came over to my desk, grabbed my test and ripped it in half. Then he grabbed my hand and read the note I had written on it to remind myself to pay rent. FML

#6752587
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43265) - you deserved it (6420)

On 12/14/2009 at 2:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was on a plane. The person sitting next to me was using the plane's wifi, and was on Facebook. They joined the group 'I hate sitting next to fat people on airplanes'. FML

#6752282
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37951) - you deserved it (11377)

On 12/14/2009 at 1:49pm - misc - by fatman (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I checked into my flight early. The kiosk asked me if I wanted an earlier flight for $50. Awesome. I swiped my card then continued to the next screen where I was informed my new flight was delayed to the same time as my original flight. FML

#6751982
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37034) - you deserved it (5772)

On 12/14/2009 at 1:08pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, it was my last day at work. I was offered a better job and accepted. Not wanting to leave my present boss hanging, I asked for time to give notice. While I trained my replacement, the owner at the new job had time to think about how slow the season is, and he decided not to fill the position. FML

#6748565
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28646) - you deserved it (3631)

On 12/14/2009 at 3:12am - work - by BadKitty42 (man) - United States (Oregon)



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