Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my best friend decided to admit to me that he and my girlfriend have been cheating behind my back for the past two months. The reason he finally admitted it? Because she is now cheating on him with another one of our friends. FML

#6812194
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35484) - you deserved it (2643)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I realised that the most kisses I ever get are in text messages from my Dad. FML

#6812092
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27386) - you deserved it (3964)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:26pm - love - by lovesucks (man) - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, my wife entered in an ugliest sweater competition at her work. She wore a plain white sweater with a picture of my face printed on it. She came home with first prize. FML

#6811696
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39090) - you deserved it (3943)

On 12/18/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by mclovin09 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I looked at my house in Google Street View for the first time and noticed an unfamiliar vehicle in the driveway. When I asked my wife about it, she admitted to have an ongoing affair. Apparently the entire world knew my wife was having an affair before I did. FML

#6808651
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41686) - you deserved it (2857)

On 12/18/2009 at 9:31am - love - by cheaters_should_die (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at the cinema. There was a really tall woman in front of me and whenever I leaned to the right or left she would lean to the same side I do. Later, she started laughing. They guy next to her was telling her where I moved. FML

#6806801
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32769) - you deserved it (3037)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:42am - misc - by Mogg (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I came home to find my room completely torn apart. My mom and dad start yelling at me asking me why I am doing drugs because she found a tiny baggie on the floor. It was the little bag that spare buttons come in when you buy a dress shirt. FML

#6805892
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34936) - you deserved it (2114)

On 12/18/2009 at 1:52am - misc - by Theo (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to take a urine test. I drank a lot of water so that I wouldn't force it. When I got there, I had to pee really bad. The cup was too small and when I relieved my bladder, it was a jet that rebounded off of the cup and overflowed going all over my hands, clothes, toilet, and floor. FML

#6805799
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14396) - you deserved it (25177)

On 12/18/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by Tib (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was taking an important exam for Calculus. Out of nowhere, the kid behind me starts violently kicking my desk. I quickly turn around and yell at him. He was having a seizure. FML

#6804423
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31695) - you deserved it (10394)

On 12/18/2009 at 12:09am - misc - by Ryan (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was changing the oil on my car. I decided to pretend I was delivering a baby as I was removing the oil filter. I got really into it and was screaming things like "I see the head," and when I removed it, I said "Oh, it's a boy!" As I reach for my rag to clean it, I saw my neighbor's boots. FML

Today, I was watching TV. During a very long commercial break, I found my brothers PSP charger next to me. Out of boredom I put my tongue on the end on the metal. Not only did it fry my tongue but found its way to my metal filling in my tooth. I now have a sore tongue and a throbbing toothache. FML

#6803548
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5727) - you deserved it (77228)

On 12/17/2009 at 11:25pm - misc - by Shocked (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while lying in bed with my wife, I asked her if she still loved me. Her reply "Sometimes". This I know is true because she instantly rolled over and farted on my leg. FML

#6802710
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31355) - you deserved it (4444)

On 12/17/2009 at 10:48pm - love - by yoked (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I found that my Facebook account had been hacked, and all my friends were deleted. As I tried to add them all back, Facebook reported me as a hacker for adding too many people too quickly. FML

#6792843
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32601) - you deserved it (3563)

On 12/17/2009 at 12:49pm - misc - by gotthewrongman (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got in an elevator at a hotel. Just as the door was closing, somebody banged into the door and stuck their hand through. I yelled, "What, are you retarded?!" The doors then opened to reveal a mentally handicapped boy with his parents standing behind him. FML

#6792235
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14251) - you deserved it (52352)

On 12/17/2009 at 11:38am - misc - by Mike (man) - United States (Texas)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: