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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I had a surprise test for Economics. While taking the test, I put my head down so I could think. A while later, I awoke to the whole class turning in their test. I had to turn in my test incomplete. No questions answered, just my name, the date, and a pool of drool. FML

#6831944
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9117) - you deserved it (39903)

On 12/19/2009 at 5:33pm - misc - by Jrlloyd013 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I can't get my heat to turn off. It is currently 87 degrees Fahrenheit in my house, and my heat is running non-stop. It's about 20 degrees outside with over a foot of snow on the ground, so a repairman can't come out to fix it. My electricity bill will be about $1000. FML

#6829701
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33009) - you deserved it (3398)

On 12/19/2009 at 3:10pm - money - by heatproblems (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop and I noticed that there was a bug on the guys face in front of me. Trying to be nice I lightly smacked it off. His reaction was to punch me in the face. Repeatedly. FML

#6826579
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9844) - you deserved it (44263)

On 12/19/2009 at 11:07am - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (California)

Today, after realizing it burned when I peed, I found out the boy I waited two years to have sex with gave me gonorrhea. FML

#6825049
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27685) - you deserved it (6929)

On 12/19/2009 at 6:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend who I love very deeply dumped me two times, over the phone. The first time was to dump me. She then called me back a couple hours later explicitly to dump our friendship. I was just friend dumped. FML

#6823589
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34788) - you deserved it (2921)

On 12/19/2009 at 2:48am - love - by musicyman55 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I took my first day off in 3 weeks just so I can sleep in. The office secretary woke me up at 7.12 am with a page wishing me a nice day off. FML

#6823511
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28591) - you deserved it (3795)

On 12/19/2009 at 2:39am - work - by Hareega (man) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I met a girl at the bar. Things were going really well and we ended up going back to her place. Problem? Her husband who normally works the graveyard shift was home sick. FML

#6821281
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26967) - you deserved it (11211)

On 12/19/2009 at 12:13am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I spent hours delicately writing out what seemed to be a beautiful poem to my girlfriend. After I sent it to her, I kept eyeing my phone to see her surprised message. No, my only response was "you may want to use a spellcheck." FML

#6820464
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13058) - you deserved it (24924)

On 12/18/2009 at 11:29pm - love - by Poem (man) - United States (California)

Today, my best friend decided to admit to me that he and my girlfriend have been cheating behind my back for the past two months. The reason he finally admitted it? Because she is now cheating on him with another one of our friends. FML

#6812194
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35480) - you deserved it (2643)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I realised that the most kisses I ever get are in text messages from my Dad. FML

#6812092
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27386) - you deserved it (3964)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:26pm - love - by lovesucks (man) - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, my wife entered in an ugliest sweater competition at her work. She wore a plain white sweater with a picture of my face printed on it. She came home with first prize. FML

#6811696
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39090) - you deserved it (3944)

On 12/18/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by mclovin09 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I looked at my house in Google Street View for the first time and noticed an unfamiliar vehicle in the driveway. When I asked my wife about it, she admitted to have an ongoing affair. Apparently the entire world knew my wife was having an affair before I did. FML

#6808651
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41550) - you deserved it (2846)

On 12/18/2009 at 9:31am - love - by cheaters_should_die (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at the cinema. There was a really tall woman in front of me and whenever I leaned to the right or left she would lean to the same side I do. Later, she started laughing. They guy next to her was telling her where I moved. FML

#6806801
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32767) - you deserved it (3037)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:42am - misc - by Mogg (man) - Australia (South Australia)



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