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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was driving my child to school when the car let out a huge bang. It shuddered to a halt. My son started laughing. I asked him what was funny but he wouldn't tell me. The car wouldn't start. I called RACV and they told me the problem. My son had rolled 9 golf balls into the exhaust pipe. FML

#6095339
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33531) - you deserved it (3553)

On 11/01/2009 at 1:44am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, it was Halloween, and I was giving candy to kids. When a group of kids who looked like they were around 4 years old came up to me and said, "Hey mister, do you have one of those things that make it look like you are fat under your shirt?" I didn't have one of those, but I lied and said, "Yes." FML

#6089311
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27540) - you deserved it (6186)

On 10/31/2009 at 7:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my good buddy of about two years set me up on a blind date. I got to the meeting point and realized that my date was a guy. My "buddy" honestly thought I was gay. FML

#6086558
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35233) - you deserved it (4204)

On 10/31/2009 at 4:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my father decided that since he's paying for my flat, he will use it twice a week to have it off with his girlfriend while I'm away. My parents are still together. FML

#6081535
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23885) - you deserved it (2298)

On 10/31/2009 at 8:54am - intimacy - by franzbiel (man) - Switzerland (Luzern)

Today, my 5 year old daughter figured out how to use the microwave, microwaving my brand new 3G iphone. It was completely wrecked. So was the microwave. FML

#6078140
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32739) - you deserved it (6176)

On 10/31/2009 at 12:22am - kids - by Mike (man) - United Kingdom (Blackpool)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house watching a home makeover show with her and her mom. The show's host had a giant portrait of himself on his wall and then I said, "I hate it when people do that, it's so stupid." Her mom stared at me and pointed to the portrait of my girlfriend on the wall. FML

#6077222
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8659) - you deserved it (26892)

On 10/30/2009 at 11:23pm - misc - by RyanTheMan15 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her mom who had passed away years ago "told her that I was cheating on her," telepathically. FML

#6075479
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36339) - you deserved it (2701)

On 10/30/2009 at 9:32pm - misc - by iGotSkill (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I finished making an awesome costume for a Halloween party my crush was attending. I then checked the invite and found out the party was last night. FML

#6073802
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12355) - you deserved it (30334)

On 10/30/2009 at 7:29pm - misc - by Missedtheboat (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend called and asked me why I love him. I told him because he's always there for me and continues to put up with my bipolar disorder. He promptly said "not anymore" and hung up. FML

#6072093
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39080) - you deserved it (4624)

On 10/30/2009 at 5:24pm - love - by screwed (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML

#6069368
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10600) - you deserved it (21215)

On 10/30/2009 at 12:34pm - intimacy - by man (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was woken up from a phone call from my boss. He asked if I had been asleep. I told him I wasn't, that I was in my car on the way to work. Then my alarm went off. FML

#6068471
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7345) - you deserved it (38692)

On 10/30/2009 at 9:19am - misc - by Coach (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my bank overdrafted my account to pay a bill that isn't due until next month. When I called them, they said they would fix the mistake, but I have to restore the account to zero before they'll give me my money back. So, I have to pay for my own money with the money they won't give me. FML

#6067790
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27602) - you deserved it (1901)

On 10/30/2009 at 6:11am - money - by WTF (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. When I asked why, she replied with "You don't go out anymore. All you do is lay in bed." I've had the flu for the past week. FML

#6066680
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36505) - you deserved it (2361)

On 10/30/2009 at 2:25am - love - by ZPyRoGoDz (man) - United States (Illinois)



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