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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, with my girlfriend I planned a trip to Bali on this Thursday and we will celebrate Christmas together. Hotel booking done, flight tickets bought, swimsuits packed. I just forgot one thing: tell my boss I'll be on leave till next week. He gave me a new project. The deadline is next monday. FML

#6879901
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8772) - you deserved it (36577)

On 12/22/2009 at 3:46am - work - by hilariousnow (man) - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)

Today, I was going on a date with my girlfriend. When I took her home, her sister came to the door. I used to date her sister and I didn't know they were related. My girlfriend realized this, then kicked me in the crotch. FML

#6879441
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30075) - you deserved it (11229)

On 12/22/2009 at 2:57am - love - by Dumped (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend canceled our date I've been looking forward to all week because her dog was having puppies. She doesn't have a dog. FML

#6877661
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32541) - you deserved it (2971)

On 12/22/2009 at 12:57am - love - by CRWMEN (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I put in an application to my local market for a job that I desperately needed. I was talking to the manager, he seemed pleased with my application and said he'll call me. As he walks into his private office, I hear the sound of a paper shredder. FML

#6877419
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27344) - you deserved it (2463)

On 12/22/2009 at 12:45am - work - by TheJuggla17 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I asked my girlfriend what she thought of us getting married some day. She said she wasn't sure about me yet and that we may want to go in different directions soon. We've been dating for three years and I had the ring in my pocket at the moment. FML

#6873751
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41259) - you deserved it (3683)

On 12/21/2009 at 9:47pm - love - by chao (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I took the train home. When seated, I suddenly noticed something wet on my seat. Without looking, I thought it was water since it was snowing outside. Guess again. It was vomit. FML

#6868813
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27104) - you deserved it (6844)

On 12/21/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by herzausstein (man) - Belgium (Limburg)

Today, I got a call from my local hospital's emergency room, stating my wife was in labour. My wife and I split years ago, but just haven't divorced. She is telling everyone I am the baby's father, my current girlfriend is 7 months pregnant with my child. FML

#6863042
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26030) - you deserved it (9389)

On 12/21/2009 at 10:23am - intimacy - by johnG (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I sent my resume to a place where I hoped to work at. Since the job requires me to be doing work on the run, I put on it that I have a laptop. The only problem is that I always thought it was "labtop." I didn't learn the correct spelling until my daughter called me an idiot, she's 6. FML

#6859638
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7779) - you deserved it (41021)

On 12/21/2009 at 2:04am - work - by eliteslayer29 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was sleeping in my room when I awoke to an unfamiliar female voice in my apartment followed by a thud. I walked out to find a drunk girl I've never met collapsed in my doorway. After puking all over the place, she had me call her father who picked her up 10 minutes later. FML

#6857935
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28723) - you deserved it (2999)

On 12/21/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by goblue (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was down the pub with a mate and we got onto the subject of bar fights. I said I thought being glassed wouldn't actually hurt that much. My friend looks at me, calmly finishes his pint and then swiftly smashes his glass over my head. Turns out I was wrong. And we got kicked out. FML

#6856689
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9744) - you deserved it (34080)

On 12/20/2009 at 11:23pm - misc - by itstillhurts (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I bought a laptop so that I could have dirty video chats with my internet girlfriend. I got home only to find that the only place I can get a decent wifi signal is in front of my mom's room. FML

#6851938
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8794) - you deserved it (22623)

On 12/20/2009 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by thatguy (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I finally got around to writing my Christmas cards. After finishing, I realized I had written "Happy Birthday" instead of "Merry Christmas" on every single one. FML

#6850443
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11979) - you deserved it (36981)

On 12/20/2009 at 5:41pm - misc - by mannnnn2717 (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I decided to attach fifteen-pound weights to each foot so I could burn some extra calories while shoveling snow. My dad asked me to move one of the cars in the driveway. When I put my foot on the gas pedal, I couldn't take it off. I ended up hitting my sister and knocking her into a snow bank. FML

#6848786
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10276) - you deserved it (52048)

On 12/20/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Klamp18 (man) - United States (New York)



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