Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I bought a laptop so that I could have dirty video chats with my internet girlfriend. I got home only to find that the only place I can get a decent wifi signal is in front of my mom's room. FML

#6851938
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8772) - you deserved it (22561)

On 12/20/2009 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by thatguy (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I finally got around to writing my Christmas cards. After finishing, I realized I had written "Happy Birthday" instead of "Merry Christmas" on every single one. FML

#6850443
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11979) - you deserved it (36979)

On 12/20/2009 at 5:41pm - misc - by mannnnn2717 (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I decided to attach fifteen-pound weights to each foot so I could burn some extra calories while shoveling snow. My dad asked me to move one of the cars in the driveway. When I put my foot on the gas pedal, I couldn't take it off. I ended up hitting my sister and knocking her into a snow bank. FML

#6848786
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10200) - you deserved it (51840)

On 12/20/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Klamp18 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up to a quite frigid room, which wasn't out of the ordinary since my building's heat is broken. But I realized that the extra cold I was feeling was due to the snow piled up on my bed. It had snowed 20 inches last night. My mom had apparently opened my window. FML

#6848159
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32089) - you deserved it (2739)

On 12/20/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by Lapis (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my grandparents thought it would be acceptable to give me and my wife Christmas presents to take to my ex-wife, along with a card saying how much they missed her and to get in touch with them next time she is in town. FML

#6843918
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27134) - you deserved it (3014)

On 12/20/2009 at 8:40am - misc - by B-Rizzle (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I asked a girl I liked for her number, but she claimed she had a broken phone and was getting a new one for Christmas. Unhinged, I go home and go onto Facebook. First thing I see is her status: "Why is no one answering my calls?" FML

#6843701
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28818) - you deserved it (3848)

On 12/20/2009 at 7:58am - love - by Surfinbird09 (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently copied my key before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering: “He looks like Jesus.” FML

#6842444
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44322) - you deserved it (3537)

On 12/20/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was about to propose. I got on my knee in front of my girlfriend and opened the box. My friend thought it would be funny to replace the ring with a condom. FML

#6842155
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47938) - you deserved it (4338)

On 12/20/2009 at 3:14am - love - by Catholicguy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at work at Hollywood Video. A guy came in and left without renting anything. Minutes later, I find human feces between the "Kids" and "Comedy" aisles. FML

#6840782
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33651) - you deserved it (2164)

On 12/20/2009 at 1:32am - work - by Van (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I ran into some friends from high school who had just gotten back from college. We were talking about what happened during our sophomore year. When it was my turn to tell them what I had been doing, all I could say was "Well, I started wearing V-Neck t-shirts and they're pretty comfortable." FML

#6840673
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9878) - you deserved it (26876)

On 12/20/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by StayedHome89 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had to take a taxi to work, because I was pressed for time, and didn't have a ride there. When I got to work, I paid the cab driver, and realized I had spent more money on the cab than I was going to make at work. FML

#6839284
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28653) - you deserved it (4518)

On 12/20/2009 at 12:13am - money - by Fml37 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found a pair of glasses in my car. I don't wear glasses, and nobody besides myself has been in my car lately. It appears that someone has been sleeping in my car and forgot their glasses. FML

#6836153
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26611) - you deserved it (3195)

On 12/19/2009 at 9:40pm - misc - by chrono64 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I ran into the living room when I heard the smoke alarm going off. Turns out, my friend thought it was a good idea to melt a plastic cup on my floor heater. He also thought the best way to put it out was to urinate on it. My house smells like burnt pee. FML

#6832794
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30594) - you deserved it (2812)

On 12/19/2009 at 6:21pm - misc - by neednewfriends (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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