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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my parents told me they're getting a divorce. However, they asked me not to tell any of the family so that the news doesn't spoil Christmas. Thanks, Mom and Dad. FML

#6939095
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31603) - you deserved it (2130)

On 12/25/2009 at 1:19pm - misc - by parentalfail (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML

#6937557
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34944) - you deserved it (7484)

On 12/25/2009 at 11:15am - kids - by BathroomMuch (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my ex got invited to our Christmas Party. I also found out that she got much more presents and money from my family than I did. FML

#6934422
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30681) - you deserved it (2827)

On 12/25/2009 at 3:14am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work a female co-worker was struggling with a stack of boxes in her hands. Her pantyhose was falling down and she asked me to help her. So I pulled up her pantyhose. When I looked up, she had a horrified look on her face. She was asking me to help her hold the boxes. FML

#6934352
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8724) - you deserved it (53404)

On 12/25/2009 at 3:10am - work - by harrassment101 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I invited my boss and his family over for dinner. As usual, I bought his kids Christmas' presents, nothing too fancy though. This year, he had one more that wasn't here last year. So I just pulled something from under the tree to hand him. He opened it on the spot. It was my son's PS3. FML

#6933197
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11210) - you deserved it (49876)

On 12/25/2009 at 1:30am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I introduced my family to beerpong. They especially liked the part about distracting each other while shooting. My grandma flashed me. FML

#6933168
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32958) - you deserved it (11474)

On 12/25/2009 at 1:28am - misc - by ScarredForLife (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my parents were having a Christmas party. They went out to get the vodka in our garage fridge, only to find most of it was frozen. Knowing vodka doesn't freeze, they soon realized that I had been taking some and refilling it with water over the past two months. FML

#6927216
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6694) - you deserved it (51206)

On 12/24/2009 at 7:36pm - misc - by Sean (man) - United States

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. I told her best friend the plan the day before. I got reservations to a restaurant on the beach, and we were going to arrive via boat. She never showed. Her parents called me asking why she left town to go to Paris. FML

#6926336
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35659) - you deserved it (3142)

On 12/24/2009 at 6:37pm - love - by hoplessG (man) - United States

Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of Fight Club. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML

#6923345
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30825) - you deserved it (12928)

On 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found out that I have to work Christmas Day. There's no public transport running and taxis are triple fare. It'll cost me more getting to work than I'll actually earn during the shift. FML

#6917997
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29828) - you deserved it (2248)

On 12/24/2009 at 6:20am - work - by Barstaff (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I saw the girl I had confessed my love to two years ago on the bus. We chatted for a few minutes and she got off on the first stop, saying that this is where she had to get off. Twenty minutes later, I see her in the bus next to mine. The bus number was 20. Like mine. FML

#6917396
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27932) - you deserved it (5315)

On 12/24/2009 at 4:35am - love - by busrides (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went home, where I live alone, from my dorm room at my university. The only Christmas cards I had received were addressed to the person that lived there before me. FML

#6916745
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25989) - you deserved it (2299)

On 12/24/2009 at 3:18am - misc - by LonelySanta (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I took a friend home from the hospital. She was on medication that made her drowsy. She fell onto her bed and asked me to help her take off some clothes since she had her winter gear on. She passes out and her roommate walks in and catches me undressing an unconscious girl. FML

#6914931
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37660) - you deserved it (3132)

On 12/24/2009 at 1:09am - love - by Nemesis2747 (man) - United States (New York)



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