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Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML

#6989911
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92215) - you deserved it (5284)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I tried to get my girlfriend of nine months to have oral sex with me. She was eating a hot dog. She then said, "If you ask me again, this is what I'll do to you." She then bit the hot dog in half. FML

#6989105
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10481) - you deserved it (36756)

On 12/28/2009 at 5:16am - intimacy - by Dontworryaboutit (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a call from a girl I fell madly in love with 8 years ago. She disappeared from my life with no trace. Turns out she just finalized her divorce, has 2 wild kids, packed on 75 lbs, has $25,000 in debt and is taking meds to keep from going crazy. Now she wants me back. FML

#6983877
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38119) - you deserved it (3403)

On 12/28/2009 at 12:03am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, the girl that I have been secretly madly in love with for 6 years told me "fuck off and stop doing nice things for me." FML

#6980347
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33048) - you deserved it (9845)

On 12/27/2009 at 9:18pm - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend left me for my sister. I can't stop thinking about all those days they went out alone for "girl time." FML

#6976806
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47603) - you deserved it (3722)

On 12/27/2009 at 5:34pm - love - by notgoodenough38 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I walked in on my mom and dad. It wasn't my dad. FML

#6970974
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32204) - you deserved it (2748)

On 12/27/2009 at 7:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was walking to the bus stop. I saw a chunk of ice and attempted to kick it. Sadly it was frozen to the ground, so I fell, broke my toe, and missed the bus. Even the bus driver was laughing as he drove by. FML

#6969489
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12786) - you deserved it (28378)

On 12/27/2009 at 3:43am - misc - by Icy (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was feeling proud of myself because I finally quit World Of Warcraft. I later found out about the gift my dad's family gave me. It was a 12-month subscription to World Of Warcraft. FML

#6960254
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30581) - you deserved it (8262)

On 12/26/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by thatguy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I noticed a girl looking at me on the train. Playing it cool, I decided to give her a smile and see what would happen. It came out as a creepy, seedy grin, prompting her to call security. FML

#6953786
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26577) - you deserved it (9656)

On 12/26/2009 at 7:06am - misc - by creepyguy (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my dad and I found in my house a water filter that has not been changed in over 20 years. We have been drinking that water that has been going through a filter that had more colors than a rainbow on it. FML

#6949871
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26321) - you deserved it (8799)

On 12/26/2009 at 12:36am - misc - by shithole (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, from my girlfriend of five years, I got my clothes back, my engagment ring and a card that says, "Merry Christmas! It's me not you." FML

#6940899
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33795) - you deserved it (2482)

On 12/25/2009 at 3:27pm - love - by C45 (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my entire extended family was over for Christmas. I opened a gift to see that it was a fruitcake and saw everyone looking at me, smiling. This is their way to tell me that they know I'm gay and that they accept me. I'm straight. FML

#6940089
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36904) - you deserved it (3635)

On 12/25/2009 at 2:34pm - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (California)

Today, my parents told me they're getting a divorce. However, they asked me not to tell any of the family so that the news doesn't spoil Christmas. Thanks, Mom and Dad. FML

#6939095
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31604) - you deserved it (2130)

On 12/25/2009 at 1:19pm - misc - by parentalfail (man) - United States (New Jersey)



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