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Today, I went through the Taco Bell drive through. The lady at the window handed me my food and receipt. In a moment of insanity, I threw the receipt at the cashier and yelled "WOOHOO." I attempted to burn rubber and get the hell out of dodge, only to remember my car was in park. FML

#7093853
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5528) - you deserved it (57763)

On 01/01/2010 at 11:46pm - misc - by TacoFail (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was driving home from an airport. On the way home, I got a flat tire. Once I was outside the car I realized that I had accidentally locked the car with the keys inside. I was in the middle of nowhere 20 miles from anywhere and couldn't call for help since my phone was in the car. FML

Today, my girlfriend told me it was her fantasy to orgasm at midnight on New Years. We got started at 11:53. I didn't last until midnight. FML

#7080938
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14242) - you deserved it (21757)

On 01/01/2010 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by FavreFan99 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my fiancé and I decided to engage in some erotic food play. She covered every region of my body, including my genitals, with strawberry sauce. Today also happens to be the day that I found out I'm allergic to strawberries. FML

#7070620
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25190) - you deserved it (4010)

On 01/01/2010 at 12:21am - intimacy - by welted (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got in a car accident on the way to the DMV to take my drivers test. FML

#7059140
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24295) - you deserved it (9314)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I got out of bed and immediately went to the window as it was supposed to snow today. I saw a man walking his dog and he waved at me. I waved back enthusiastically and realised I was naked. FML

#7053396
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10258) - you deserved it (30342)

On 12/31/2009 at 6:47am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I found out that "going for a meal and going out clubbing" for New Year's means me cooking for my mates and driving them to the pub. FML

#7042607
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23022) - you deserved it (3406)

On 12/30/2009 at 8:32pm - misc - by stonesober (man) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, after buying over $300 worth of food and alcohol, I found out all my friends aren't coming to my New Years party but headed to the BIG party at the local club. The one which I sold my ticket to after my friends convinced me to throw a party instead. FML

#7041342
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33736) - you deserved it (2908)

On 12/30/2009 at 7:28pm - misc - by 20 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my cat was yowling and meowing pathetically outside my door, I checked she had food, water, and she followed me back up to my room. She nestled down on the radiator behind my desk, then threw up all over it. The cat sick is stuck inside the radiator, and it smells just lovely. FML

Today, I received a $105 parking ticket for being in a handicapped space. The lines were covered by snow, and the sign was on the building twenty feet away. FML

#7029804
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31363) - you deserved it (5146)

On 12/30/2009 at 3:23am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up and realized I have experienced my first "nocturnal emission". I am a 24 year old male who has been married for 3 months. Guess who isn't getting any. FML

#7025515
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18644) - you deserved it (2914)

On 12/29/2009 at 11:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I looked outside and I saw that my new car had been snowed on. Sadly the snow had frozen onto the car, so I spent the entire day getting it off. I came inside. By 8pm, my car had snow all over it again, and this time I left the window open. FML

#7016901
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8850) - you deserved it (36408)

On 12/29/2009 at 3:59pm - misc - by FMLimsomad (man) - United States

Today, I was told to shovel four inches of snow from my driveway. I had to get the snow shovel from the rafters of my garage, and there were other tools with it. As I was yanking the shovel down, a pickax fell and smashed through the back window of my dad's Buick. FML

#7016410
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26587) - you deserved it (5771)

On 12/29/2009 at 3:26pm - misc - by Charlie8u347 (man) - United States (Ohio)



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