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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, after my girlfriend telling me for years that she would marry me in a heartbeat, I finally proposed. She said no. FML

#7160237
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43209) - you deserved it (4042)

On 01/05/2010 at 5:45am - love - by Chewy (man) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I was told that, although I was sick on the last day before break, they would still accept the 24 page essay that I had written. Tonight, as I went to print it out, I found that my dad had "cleaned up a bit" on my computer, including the documents from last semester. I have school tomorrow. FML

#7158571
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31625) - you deserved it (3170)

On 01/05/2010 at 2:18am - work - by Himynameisjacob (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, after secretly smoking for more than 2 years, I decided to quit. I come home from work and I see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML

#7157355
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6771) - you deserved it (39797)

On 01/05/2010 at 12:55am - misc - by tanksfan (man) - India (Delhi)

Today, I bought a new Siamese Fighting Fish. I was so happy with my new fish so I bought him an expensive lovely bowl, some weeds, and a toy for the bowl. I left the room to get the fish food. When I returned, the fish was gone, and the cat was sitting on the table. FML

#7156586
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25194) - you deserved it (8890)

On 01/05/2010 at 12:15am - animals - by bels12 (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I overheard my parents discussing whether or not they could trust me being alone in the house for 2 days. They then came to the decision that I'm too unpopular and unattractive to ever throw a wild party or get laid. FML

#7156329
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35843) - you deserved it (3096)

On 01/05/2010 at 12:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I noticed the woman I've been sleeping with for over 2 years never lets me see her naked during sex. I confronted her about it and she replied, "I don't care if you see me naked. I was just leaving the lights off the whole time so I don't have to see you naked." FML

#7147698
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24329) - you deserved it (4344)

On 01/04/2010 at 4:26pm - intimacy - by audied (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that shutting off the heat in the rental property my parents owned was a bad idea. The water froze and the pipes burst, causing the whole kitchen ceiling to fall down. The water ruined the wood floors and the appliances. I turned off the heat to save money. FML

#7146444
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12215) - you deserved it (35089)

On 01/04/2010 at 2:20pm - money - by WorkSexMonkey (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I'm in Mexico and am supposed to be skydiving for my Christmas gift. Instead, I'm coming out of the hospital with x-rays, an ankle splint, and a $800 bill because I fell on the bottom step of a flight of stairs. FML

#7145506
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25250) - you deserved it (3791)

On 01/04/2010 at 12:52pm - health - by Wally (man) - Mexico

Today, while using the bathroom on an airplane, someone walked in on me wiping my butt. That person just so happened to be the stranger I was sitting next to. It was an 8 hour flight. FML

#7145421
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31340) - you deserved it (7908)

On 01/04/2010 at 12:40pm - misc - by GeorgiaBOYY (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. We decided to have sex in her basement. All awesome, until her mom walked down and wanted to watch a movie with us. I had to watch it naked under a blanket. FML

#7144399
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21474) - you deserved it (7451)

On 01/04/2010 at 10:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I slipped on a patch of ice and fell. I would have fallen straight onto my ass, but thankfully my testicles broke my fall. FML

#7143279
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40667) - you deserved it (3039)

On 01/04/2010 at 8:34am - health - by Soresack (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I returned to work after a restful week-long holiday. Before I left, I'd finished a huge assignment which is due this week. I walk in to find a water pipe has burst just above my desk, flooding our office with water and ruining my computer. Happy New Year to me. FML

#7142221
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26201) - you deserved it (2460)

On 01/04/2010 at 6:15am - work - by WetWetWet (man) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, my 4 year old daughter was ripping out photos of the family photo book, I asked her why she was doing it she answered, "I saw mummy doing it to another book." The only other family photo book was the day we got married. FML

#7140982
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27239) - you deserved it (2756)

On 01/04/2010 at 3:50am - misc - by Michael (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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