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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I found out that my Mom had taken out a loan out on my car from the repo man taking my car away. FML

#4712863
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26522) - you deserved it (2045)

On 08/21/2009 at 4:44pm - money - by jonhapimp (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the doctor to inquire about the rash I've been getting in my underarms, behind my knees and sometimes on my face. Turns out I'm allergic to sweat. I'm a varsity rugby coach, gym teacher, and I just shelled out a stack of cash to get a sauna and steam room installed in my house. FML

#4712230
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41045) - you deserved it (3724)

On 08/21/2009 at 4:17pm - health - by FilthyIke (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was told by this big guy from school that I needed to stop stalking his girlfriend, and stop following her home from school. She's my neighbor. FML

#4712150
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36292) - you deserved it (1845)

On 08/21/2009 at 4:13pm - misc - by ostfae (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was on a flight coming back home. On my right was a fat monk who was snoring very loudly, and on my left there were two old women who were talking about their teenage love lives in detail. The flight was 17 hours long. FML

#4707579
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32177) - you deserved it (2549)

On 08/21/2009 at 12:18pm - misc - by ihatelongflights (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I gathered the courage to ask my crush on a date. As I called her, she quickly answered and said "Can't talk right now, I'm in a movie theater." and then hung up. I'd called her home phone. FML

#4706873
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37049) - you deserved it (2764)

On 08/21/2009 at 11:36am - love - by sophistication (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was on the elevator going up to a meeting, and the elevator was getting more and more crowded as we went up. After about ten people got on, they all agreed that I should get off the elevator because they thought me being on was exceeding the weight limit. FML

#4703567
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34354) - you deserved it (6644)

On 08/21/2009 at 5:27am - health - by tryingatkins (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was on a date with a girl I've had feelings for since I was 14 (I'm 22). I took her out to dinner, then to a movie that we both liked and had a few drinks afterwards. I thought it was going really well until I was driving her home and she asked to be dropped off at her boyfriend's house. FML

#4702717
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40629) - you deserved it (5844)

On 08/21/2009 at 4:06am - love - by tacoboy (man) - United States (New York)

Today, everyone in my department got a raise except for me. Last week, I had been the one who asked for a raise for me and my fellow department members. FML

#4698361
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33911) - you deserved it (2898)

On 08/21/2009 at 12:52am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML

#4696975
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58600) - you deserved it (3392)

On 08/21/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, it was my first day of school as a freshman. I soon became lost and decided to ask a senior for directions to my class. They smiled at me and said "It's on the third floor to the right." After ten minutes of walking up and down stairs and hallways, I discovered there is no third floor. FML

#4690268
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27804) - you deserved it (19065)

On 08/20/2009 at 7:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. When I asked her why she did, she said that the psychic that she was texting (one of those 44644 numbers) said we have a 2% compatibility rating. How does that explain 4 years of happy dating? FML

#4682415
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49995) - you deserved it (3901)

On 08/20/2009 at 1:50pm - love - by ihatemylife (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, an extremely attractive woman from FedEx came to deliver my new phone. I was wearing athletic shorts and had an erection. She looked down and laughed. FML

#4680199
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37276) - you deserved it (17553)

On 08/20/2009 at 11:55am - intimacy - by littleguy (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, was the first day all week I got to sleep in. I woke up this beautiful morning to the sun shining in my window and hundreds of carpenter ants crawling over my sheets and me. FML

#4677872
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41812) - you deserved it (2643)

On 08/20/2009 at 8:45am - misc - by tommy3824 (man) - United States (Ohio)



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