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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my son told me to grow a pair and ask my girlfriend of a year and a half to marry me. He is 7 years old. FML

#6344201
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11943) - you deserved it (32902)

On 11/17/2009 at 5:58pm - kids - by unsuspcted (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found a gift card under my bed that I lost a few months ago for $400 to a store that went out of business last week. FML

#6342869
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35503) - you deserved it (12383)

On 11/17/2009 at 4:19pm - money - by fmfl (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I canceled my dental check-up because I'm getting busy at work. Then, as I was flossing, my finger slipped, I heard a "crunch" from one of my fillings, and I now have a killer toothache. It's costing me double to go to the dentist because it's now an emergency call. FML

#6340550
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25387) - you deserved it (7006)

On 11/17/2009 at 11:56am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had a pig kidney dissection in Biology. I see a 'sack' which appeared to contain a liquid. Being the curious type, I cut open the sack, spraying said liquid over me and my desk. My teacher, after giggling, informed me that the liquid was in fact urine. I was pissed on by a dead pig. FML

#6340257
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12990) - you deserved it (36451)

On 11/17/2009 at 11:12am - misc - by Araya (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I took the bus to work. I was exhausted and had a big mug of coffee. Half asleep and thinking I was in my car, I reached forward to put it in the "cup holder" during the ride. When I let go, I poured hot coffee not only all over myself, but also on the large, angry-looking man next to me. FML

#6340029
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9153) - you deserved it (26817)

On 11/17/2009 at 10:32am - misc - by Spiller (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was finally discharged from hospital after being in there for one month, I arrive home to find a letter from a debt collection agency for my unpaid car insurance premium, and another letter from my car insurer to say that they aren't covering my accident due to non payment of premium. FML

#6339053
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27722) - you deserved it (3674)

On 11/17/2009 at 6:48am - misc - by Chriso (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was the paramedic at the scene of a car accident. One lady was hurt, and we had trouble getting any information from her as she was sobbing. I radioed in the details and said "...a lady in her mid 30's, ETA 10 minutes." She stopped crying, slapped me, and said, "I'm 28." FML

#6338943
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35877) - you deserved it (3907)

On 11/17/2009 at 6:16am - work - by Paramedic (man) - United Kingdom (Rochdale)

Today, I was in my hot tub with my brand new phone. I set it down and when I grabbed my towel I knocked it into the water. I quickly snatched it up and dried it off with the towel and suprisingly only one button stopped working. It was the unlock button, a perfectly good phone that I can't use. FML

#6337523
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7661) - you deserved it (44114)

On 11/17/2009 at 1:48am - misc - by JakeHolmes (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I started my first day as a security guard. After spending three years and $30,000 to become a commercial pilot, only to be told on my yearly medical that I suddenly have type 1 diabetes, and will never fly again. FML

Today, I had a surprise birthday party thrown in my honor. All of my friends and family had been invited, and all of the details were perfect. Who threw the party for me? My ex-girlfriend who I dumped last week for "not being thoughtful enough." FML

#6333617
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7253) - you deserved it (51920)

On 11/16/2009 at 9:40pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, after being turned away by nearly all the restaurants in the area, I tried applying at Burger King. They too turned me away. I have a Culinary School Degree. FML

#6328557
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30455) - you deserved it (2711)

On 11/16/2009 at 4:54pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got a card from the jewelry store thanking me for purchasing an engagement ring a year ago and wishing me and my fiancée a long and everlasting marriage. Too bad my fiancée took off with the pizza delivery boy 6 months ago. FML

#6325970
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34786) - you deserved it (2191)

On 11/16/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by figures (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after spending about 5 years to go back to school, get my life together and get a real job, I now make about $100 less a month. I used to work as a dishwasher. FML

#6325023
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29327) - you deserved it (2734)

On 11/16/2009 at 10:14am - work - by tsu3 (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)



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