Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I used a public bathroom and set my motorcycle helmet on the sink while I used the urinal. The helmet rolled into the sink, under the faucet and set off the motion detector, soaking the inside. I drove 15 miles home in 30 degree weather with a wet helmet. FML

#7351038
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24556) - you deserved it (8904)

On 01/15/2010 at 12:04am - misc - by RyanSmithN (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to my doctor to get my x-ray results. Turns out, I have a fractured spine and a chip of my spine has moved. Now I'm in a neck brace because my dad didn't think it was serious, and told me to "suck it up princess." FML

#7346390
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32395) - you deserved it (2242)

On 01/14/2010 at 9:07pm - health - by RAHrahRAH (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I thought I'd be safe by looking before crossing a one way street unlike I normally do. Too bad I looked the wrong way and didn't see the car that hit me. FML

#7343318
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9504) - you deserved it (33779)

On 01/14/2010 at 7:01pm - misc - by Lackadaisical (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my teacher compared the female reproductive system to Shrek's head. Never again will I be able to watch the movies. FML

#7340967
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26640) - you deserved it (3672)

On 01/14/2010 at 4:56pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got my cell phone bill. I pay for 700 minutes per month. I used 9 last month. FML

#7338496
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21862) - you deserved it (17454)

On 01/14/2010 at 2:04pm - misc - by light_talker (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, it was my 18th birthday. Nobody said anything. Gillette sent me a free razor though. FML

#7336661
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38364) - you deserved it (2993)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:57am - misc - by Lost (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I snuck out of work 2 hours early. As I was speeding away so I wouldn't be seen, I rear-ended my boss as he was leaving the lower parking lot for a late lunch. FML

#7336289
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6175) - you deserved it (44194)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:14am - work - by Ilovelife07 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend asked me "is it in yet?" FML

#7335788
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29904) - you deserved it (6727)

On 01/14/2010 at 9:06am - intimacy - by anun (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I received an email saying that the present I ordered for my girlfriend's birthday will be a week late, which makes it a week late for her birthday. I sat down and said we needed to talk, she burst into tears and apologised for 'sleeping with him,' I just wanted to tell her it would be late. FML

#7334847
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48294) - you deserved it (2717)

On 01/14/2010 at 6:26am - love - by in_side_out (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to try and break a watermelon on my head while I was asleep on the couch. FML

#7334131
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33085) - you deserved it (3599)

On 01/14/2010 at 3:46am - misc - by melonhead (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while at a bar a woman of about 40 came up to me and asked me to dance, and being only 20 I thought I had met the perfect "cougar" for a one night stand. After a few up-beat dances, a slower song came on and we continued to dance. She started sobbing and claimed I was the son she never had. FML

#7334012
79 comments

Today, I added some of my own money to the tip jar in the Subway I work at to make myself look less pathetic. FML

#7333301
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12105) - you deserved it (23534)

On 01/14/2010 at 1:59am - work - by OverweightTeen (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was on the computer in the library on campus. I was facebook stalking this really cute girl that I often see on campus. As I'm looking at her profile pictures, I turn around and the girl is standing right behind me. She gave me a disgusted look and walked off. FML

#7331579
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8931) - you deserved it (42325)

On 01/14/2010 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: