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Man or woman?

Today, I went to start my truck that I had parked in my driveway after a longhaul. The fuel gauge indicated I had a full tank. I didn't fill up. My neighbours' son decided to fill the tank with water with a hose. 150 litres worth on top of diesel. His dad's response: "Kids eh, what ya gonna do?" FML

#6449145
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37101) - you deserved it (2450)

On 11/25/2009 at 5:24pm - kids - by driver (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I learned that there is a limit to being thrifty. For example buying a pan from the dollar store is most likely going to cost a lot more than a few dollars. Especially when it melts all over your stove which you now have to replace. FML

#6445048
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11596) - you deserved it (29465)

On 11/25/2009 at 12:52pm - misc - by Drim (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at work, working on a new play. In the final dress rehearsal, I heard some of the crew laughing so I looked down at the very revealing costume to see that my left testicle was hanging out. FML

#6443277
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33626) - you deserved it (7443)

On 11/25/2009 at 9:45am - work - by youshitme (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend of almost a year, and to whom I intended to propose on Thanksgiving, dumped me because her husband will be returning from Iraq soon. And he wants to have a "talk" with me. I didn't know she was married. FML

#6442976
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40829) - you deserved it (3605)

On 11/25/2009 at 8:56am - love - by blasted (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was told by my mother that the reason she quit her job as a counselor and divorced my dad was because she met someone through work. She works in a prison. FML

#6441636
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31756) - you deserved it (2035)

On 11/25/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by CT (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was fired by one of my bosses for doing something the other boss told me to do. I work for a family company. Turns out my bosses are going through a divorce and will do anything to prove the other wrong. FML

#6440227
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34941) - you deserved it (1778)

On 11/24/2009 at 8:54pm - work - by Anon (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I met my wife's other husband. FML

#6436745
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41534) - you deserved it (3233)

On 11/24/2009 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by bmonehh (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML

#6433881
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42149) - you deserved it (3264)

On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I decided to surprise my wife at her softball game. I saw her distinctive motorcycle jacket through the canvas dugout wall and decided that I would feel her up from behind, to surprise her. She lent her jacket to a friend. FML

#6433707
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18669) - you deserved it (10258)

On 11/24/2009 at 5:58am - intimacy - by rider (man) - Qatar (Ad Dawhah)

Today, I had a date in my dreams. It was a pity date, with someone who is already taken. I can't even get a real date in my dreams. FML

#6433676
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29093) - you deserved it (3717)

On 11/24/2009 at 5:49am - love - by Lonely (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, the woman I love told me she cared about me and didn't like me hurting myself. She then posted a picture of herself making-out with her new boyfriend. FML

#6433599
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22693) - you deserved it (4840)

On 11/24/2009 at 5:04am - love - by xX-SaD-FaCe-Xx (man) - Singapore

Today, I had to break up with my girlfriend on her request because she "didn't have the heart to do it." Within twenty minutes I'd received 4 calls from mutual friends, including my best friend, telling me what a jerk I am. And one from my mom. FML

#6433183
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28683) - you deserved it (4967)

On 11/24/2009 at 3:11am - love - by Face_loser (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found a mealworm in my cornflakes. I had already finished most of the bowl. I didn't make it to the toilet to throw up. FML

#6431764
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25409) - you deserved it (2674)

On 11/24/2009 at 1:00am - health - by blowinchunks (man) - Canada (Alberta)



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