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Today, I was walking home from work going over a railway-bridge, when a 12 year old boy standing at the bottom asks if I could help him carry his bike up, as he couldn't lift it. I did it for him, and was greeted on the other side by his father - who thought I was stealing it and hit me. FML

#5047038
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39223) - you deserved it (2063)

On 09/04/2009 at 7:43pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was awakened by the sound of chain-saws. Moments later a tree branch came through my roof. FML

#5040554
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42371) - you deserved it (1829)

On 09/04/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by 1ndustrytx (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went para sailing for the first time ever. My friends thought it would be funny to pull down my trunks right before my feet left the boat. I dangled there in the air for the whole resort to see. And I lost my shorts in the ocean. FML

#5039169
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39874) - you deserved it (2952)

On 09/04/2009 at 10:50am - misc - by no_hullabalo (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-wan)

Today, I called my girlfriend's parent to ask for her hand in marriage. They were shocked and told me that they would have to refuse. Apparently my girlfriend had told them last week that she had met someone new at work and didn't know how to break it off with me. FML

Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML

#5034499
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45151) - you deserved it (5117)

On 09/04/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by Scarred (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a customer came in who only spoke Spanish. I speak Spanish rather well so I helped the customer. She ended up buying $2300 worth of stuff. I got written up because not speaking English apparently "has the potential be offensive to other customers if they are not able to understand you". FML

#5033562
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53098) - you deserved it (3018)

On 09/04/2009 at 12:31am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while giving a lecture about gases to a large chemistry class, I went outside to let loose an unusualy loud fart while they took some notes. I came back in only to see 300 students dying of laughter. I had left the wireless mic on. FML

#5033555
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14307) - you deserved it (41986)

On 09/04/2009 at 12:30am - work - by DrGas (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I skipped class to take the girl I like to the airport, and after giving her a goodbye hug I kissed her on the cheek. She laughed and said "Maybe we should discuss some boundaries when I get back." FML

#5030993
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38627) - you deserved it (7026)

On 09/03/2009 at 10:47pm - love - by strikeout (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend called me and told me to come to her college, so I did. I was greeted by the campus police who told me to stop harassing her because she no longer wants to be with me. Then they told me I was no longer welcome on campus and hereby banned. She used campus police to dump me. FML

#5029285
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47301) - you deserved it (2769)

On 09/03/2009 at 9:45pm - love - by Wow (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML

#5023089
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13594) - you deserved it (55211)

On 09/03/2009 at 4:59pm - misc - by Co-B (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with a blood infection, swollen nuts, and an hole in my butt where I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML

#5021908
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14895) - you deserved it (64588)

On 09/03/2009 at 3:55pm - health - by keeperstride (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking through my house when I saw a strange man sitting on my couch. I asked him who he was and he said he was a friend of my mom's. He told me to join him and when I sat down, he punched me in the face and stole my cell phone, wallet, and car keys. FML

#5021178
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56152) - you deserved it (21722)

On 09/03/2009 at 3:09pm - misc - by robbed (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, walking home from work, I saw a little boy crying, so I crouched down to his eye level. I asked him what was wrong, his reply was to kick me in the groin. FML

#5016488
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37957) - you deserved it (5190)

On 09/03/2009 at 6:19am - kids - by Annoymous (man) - Australia (South Australia)



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