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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was vacuuming our house because I wanted to help my parents. I wore a headset while listening to REALLY loud music. The vacuuming job took me two hours and when I took of my headset I noticed that I hadn't started the vacuum cleaner. FML

#7415658
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10593) - you deserved it (62949)

On 01/18/2010 at 6:01am - misc - by Adrian16 (man) - Norway (Vestfold)

Today, I received a letter saying that I was accepted into university and that I qualified for a number of scholarships. Too bad an equivalent sum of money will be spent fixing the car I hit, after spinning out on ice, whilst driving home from said university. FML

#7413035
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25294) - you deserved it (4642)

On 01/18/2010 at 1:36am - misc - by trooper93 (man) - Canada

Today, I was helping my friend put up a wooden fence at his new house. I was holding the sections of fence up while he nailed them in with an air powered nail gun. The gun malfunctioned and fired twice putting the second nail through my hand and into the wood. We had to pry the nail out. FML

#7412536
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34564) - you deserved it (2674)

On 01/18/2010 at 1:09am - misc - by Nissan_David (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my wife changed her name back to her maiden name. Why? So people would stop asking questions about us. We have been married for 15 years. FML

#7411056
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31192) - you deserved it (2618)

On 01/18/2010 at 12:06am - love - by unloved (man) - United Kingdom (Southend-on-Sea)

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to sneak into the shower at her house while her parents went out to eat and a movie. Half way through our shower we heard a knocking at the door, it was her mom. We had left all of our clothes downstairs. Safe to say I won't be allowed there any more. FML

#7405426
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10900) - you deserved it (37545)

On 01/17/2010 at 7:57pm - love - by IceMage (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I arrived at my apartment to find the door kicked in. Inside, I found my TV, Xbox, stereo, CDs, and laptop had all been stolen. When my roommate got home, I told him about it, to which he replied, "Yeah, I left my keys inside this morning, so I kicked the door in to get them." He left with the door kicked in. FML

#7405101
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34434) - you deserved it (2419)

On 01/17/2010 at 7:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I drove 4 hours to see my girlfriend of a year, as she had asked me to stay with her for a few days. When I arrived she told me she wanted to be friends as she liked someone else, but wanted me to stay the few days so we could work on being friends. FML

#7404884
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33185) - you deserved it (2267)

On 01/17/2010 at 7:30pm - love - by longtrip (man) - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, I walked to my car to find a window smashed in. Lucky for me, nothing was stolen. It did, however, rain all morning. FML

#7397995
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26516) - you deserved it (2253)

On 01/17/2010 at 12:45pm - misc - by russty (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I discovered that my girlfriend, who I've dated for 6 years, is getting engaged to my friend. The very same "friend" who's been encouraging me to break up with her for the past year. FML

#7396804
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38016) - you deserved it (2931)

On 01/17/2010 at 11:22am - love - by anonymous (man) - Austria (Steiermark)

Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML

#7391699
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50714) - you deserved it (5855)

On 01/17/2010 at 1:22am - health - by Concussed (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, was my first day at my new job, which requires you to wear a special shirt. Come to find out, they only have medium sized shirts. I am an XL. They demanded I wear the shirt anyway. FML

#7390812
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32576) - you deserved it (9050)

On 01/17/2010 at 12:37am - work - by mikey09 (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, whilst working at the supermarket, a man came through my checkout who couldn't open the plastic bags. I thought it would be a laugh to make fun of him because of it, saying "Come on! What's wrong with you?". Turns out he has arthritis. And Parkinson's Disease. He left, more than angry. FML

Today, I found on the internet pictures of me sleeping. I sleep naked. FML

#7377706
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34278) - you deserved it (7621)

On 01/16/2010 at 12:51pm - misc - by be_so_slick_56 (man) - United States (California)



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