Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went shopping with some friends. We were tired from walking around the mall all night, so we decided to sit and relax at a table. I was about to close my eyes when I got smacked on the forehead by an orange falling from the second floor of the mall. FML

#6487982
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27794) - you deserved it (3676)

On 11/28/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by Orangehead (man) - United States (California)

Today, I invited my crush to come and spend thanksgiving dinner with me and my family, she agreed but asked me if she could bring her friend. Turns out her "friend" was actually her boyfriend and they drank all the expensive wine I bought. FML

#6485720
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30106) - you deserved it (7565)

On 11/27/2009 at 10:02pm - love - by lonelyguy (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I took my daughter to the zoo. I threw a piece of my sandwich towards a very cute chimpanzee. As a thank you, he threw a piece of crap at me, which exploded all over my shirt. FML

#6482495
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10204) - you deserved it (46116)

On 11/27/2009 at 6:36pm - misc - by Thanks (man) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I found out that my wife had an affair with our marriage counselor. FML

#6480893
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59178) - you deserved it (3042)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:39pm - love - by Nobody (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a doctor examined my wrist, which is completely swollen and painful. He diagnosed a case of tendonitis and asked me, "Do you use this hand for a particular sort of sport?" I just smiled like a twit. FML

#6480683
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9759) - you deserved it (46034)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:24pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, for the third time this week, my boss made me switch desks. Each new desk is closer to the door than the last one. I think he's trying to tell me something. FML

#6479352
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31143) - you deserved it (2573)

On 11/27/2009 at 2:51pm - work - by Fmyoffice (man) - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, I got out of the wrong side of the bed. Into a wall. FML

#6475314
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13662) - you deserved it (27168)

On 11/27/2009 at 5:11am - misc - by Nick (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, we took the kids to the local pond near my sister-in-law's to feed the geese. I hadn't been there before, and thought I'd take a picture. I turned around to adjust my camera, but the geese, realizing the feast had ended, took flight. Before I could react I was showered with goose shit. FML

#6474264
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24048) - you deserved it (3696)

On 11/27/2009 at 2:45am - misc - by fml...really (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I wanted to take a nice hot relaxing bath. A wasp somehow got in, and stung me on the nuts. FML

#6471383
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37621) - you deserved it (4581)

On 11/26/2009 at 11:26pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I saw an old man who needed help crossing the street. I went over to him and helped him across the street. When he thanked me, I said, "No problem, sir." They responded by hitting me in the happy sacks and screaming that they were a woman. FML

#6467365
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23004) - you deserved it (6740)

On 11/26/2009 at 7:26pm - misc - by anniecook (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went out to lunch with a girl I like and her best friend. We had a good time, even talked for a few hours at the restaurant, but after we left, she stopped talking to me. Her friend told her that I kept staring at her chest; I was trying to see what her pendant was. FML

#6462459
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11557) - you deserved it (35902)

On 11/26/2009 at 1:19pm - love - by LonelyLoner (man) - United States (California)

Today, my parents and I went to the movies for my mom's birthday. After the movie, my mom and dad got into a fight, and left me at the movies. My cell phone was dead, and my house was about 12 miles away. They finally came and picked me up, hours later. FML

#6457237
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30200) - you deserved it (2901)

On 11/26/2009 at 1:18am - misc - by moviewalker (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I saw a my neighbor being mugged on the street. I wanted to help, so I tried to yank her purse from the mugger's hands. I guess my neighbor didn't see me clearly, because she thought I was another mugger and kicked my directly in the happy sacks. FML

#6452828
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30884) - you deserved it (3342)

On 11/25/2009 at 9:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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