Today, I texted the hottest girl in the school saying, "I really like you, we should date". She responded with a text saying, "Sorry, I'm not into you." I then got a text saying, "Sorry, my brother stole my phone, and answered, but still it's no". I got rejected twice. Once by a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50967) - you deserved it (8198)
On 04/22/2009 at 12:09am - love - by misterhippo (man) - United States (California)
Today, I finally exchanged pictures with the woman I've been seeing online for some time now. She replied, saying "Thats not funny. Some people actually look like that." I sent my real picture, and thought I actually looked pretty good in it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61814) - you deserved it (5923)
On 04/21/2009 at 2:21pm - love - by Anon (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I got a email from my boss. He said he was going to have to let me go for missing so much work over the last week. I was laid off two months ago. I don't know what is more depressing, getting fired from a job twice or the fact it took two months for them to notice I wasn't there anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54343) - you deserved it (2208)
On 04/21/2009 at 11:11am - work - by laxguy23 (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was playing guitar on the sidewalk and had my guitar case open for tips. A man came up with a folded piece of green paper, smiled and walked away. After I was finished, I looked at my tips. I unfolded the paper, it was a note that said "You suck!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (36285) - you deserved it (8454)
On 04/21/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by Jesus (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, I brought my dog to the vet for a routine surgery. The vets assured me that no dog had ever died during this procedure. Apparently my dog was the first. FML
I agree, your life sucks (98075) - you deserved it (3546)
On 04/21/2009 at 9:48am - animals - by lylethomes15 (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, I went out for a smoke break. A homeless person walks up to me and asks for a cig. As I pull out my pack he says "Oh... Menthols... no I don't smoke that cheap shit". I was called cheap by a hobo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47671) - you deserved it (13785)
On 04/21/2009 at 8:52am - misc - by Kaboom (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, just after getting off the phone with a girl I am interested in, I parked on campus and decided to eat my lunch in the car. As I was sitting there, she appeared out of nowhere and walked to her car. I was parked directly behind her car, sitting there like a creepy ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46339) - you deserved it (6909)
On 04/21/2009 at 8:44am - misc - by porkieworkie (man) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30795) - you deserved it (75196)
On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML
I agree, your life sucks (44614) - you deserved it (18355)
On 04/20/2009 at 11:11pm - animals - by whymommywhy (man) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I was going home with the tomato plant I just bought in my cup holder. The smell of it was filling the car and I love the smell so I picked it up and took a wiff. A few moments later I got pulled over. Apparantly, the cop saw me sniff it and thought I was smelling a marijuana plant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39019) - you deserved it (5837)
On 04/20/2009 at 10:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I work for the local fire department. I had a long call and I was hot and sweaty. I decided to skinny dip in my pool because it was still dark out. Everything went great untill my flood light went on and my dad ran out with a bat. I got smacked in the side with a baseball bat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33689) - you deserved it (5352)
On 04/20/2009 at 8:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I called my mom from Australia. I have been abroad for two months and hadn't talked to her in a long time. A few minutes into the conversation my moms stops me and says this call must cost a fortune and hangs up on me. A few bucks in more important to her then me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41519) - you deserved it (4525)
On 04/20/2009 at 4:52am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I got T-boned by a woman going 60 mph. I was unconscious for hours while a tube was inserted into my collapsed lung. Upon waking up my 16-year old brother thought it would be hilarious to yank out my leg hairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69083) - you deserved it (2274)
On 04/20/2009 at 1:53am - health - by robinhoood (man) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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