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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I won an award at school for my hard work. Afterwards, my parents told me off. Why? They wanted my brother to get it instead of me. FML

#5825419
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33634) - you deserved it (1546)

On 10/14/2009 at 4:21am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had my first job interview in years. While I was waiting for the manager to come out I realized I had forgotten the resume that I had printed out the night before, since he specifically asked me to bring one. FML

#5825013
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7081) - you deserved it (23598)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:45am - work - by jzone32 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, we had a fire drill in my dorm, and I live on the 7th floor of my building. They shut the elevators down and I had to walk down 14 flights of steps. I shattered my kneecap last week. They turned the alarm off when I got to the first floor. FML

#5821457
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30098) - you deserved it (1850)

On 10/13/2009 at 10:31pm - misc - by stepknee (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got home and realized that I didn't have my keys and my mum had said she wasn't going to be home till the next morning. After a long wait I decided I'd have to break a window to get in. Almost immediately after closing the door I watched as my mum pulled up in the driveway. FML

Today, I got a text message from a number I didn't know telling me, "Fine. It's over, have a wonderful life." I've never had a girlfriend and now I get broken up with by girls I don't even know. FML

#5815085
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32377) - you deserved it (3474)

On 10/13/2009 at 11:52am - love - by dudezilla (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out that I owed my school $0.20. They decided to charge me a late fee of $20 for deferring the intial payment. FML

#5814625
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25670) - you deserved it (3519)

On 10/13/2009 at 11:04am - money - by latepayer (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my wife came home from work early and told me she'd been fired. She was really upset so I told her how much she means to me and how much I love her to help cheer her up. She then told me she was caught getting it on with another employee. FML

#5814058
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27525) - you deserved it (1969)

On 10/13/2009 at 9:45am - intimacy - by LOLCATS (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, my new girlfriend told me I don't snore when I sleep. Which is funny, since during the last year of my marriage, my ex-wife would make me sleep on the couch because my loud snoring kept her up. FML

#5813153
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32689) - you deserved it (2602)

On 10/13/2009 at 7:07am - love - by quietsleeper (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, as I was walking home, a friend passed me by on his moped, and sprayed a bunch of silly string at me. Unfortunately, he hit me in the eye, temporarily blinding me. As I stumbled around blind, I accidentally knocked a bunch of 3 year olds off their bikes, causing them to cry. FML

#5812873
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28313) - you deserved it (2712)

On 10/13/2009 at 6:09am - misc - by sillystring (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML

#5811871
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8764) - you deserved it (106341)

On 10/13/2009 at 2:54am - love - by PanFace (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after I have spent $3,000 dollars in preparations to move in with my girlfriend of 2 and 1/2 years, she confesses she's a mental patient who stole someone elses identity. She was telling the truth. FML

#5811757
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36654) - you deserved it (3194)

On 10/13/2009 at 2:38am - misc - by IMayBeAFool (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I received a call from a collection agency. Since I had no clue, I was ready to file a police report for stolen identity. I then called my mom only to find out she has been opening new credit cards with my information for 3 years and not paying them. My credit is ruined and I'm only 21. FML

#5802914
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41243) - you deserved it (1964)

On 10/12/2009 at 7:32pm - money - by thafinest (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my "future" wife got drunk in front of my parents, who she was meeting for the first time. She called my dad a piece of shit and told my mom she wants to tear her own eyes out. FML

#5794322
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31098) - you deserved it (5111)

On 10/12/2009 at 10:52am - misc - by shocked (man) - United States (Nebraska)



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