Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I got my first acting part. I played the role of a bad boy who has to grab the leading lady's ass, who then slaps me in the face. The ass grab was done in one take. The slap required 14 takes. FML

#6570901
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40447) - you deserved it (4739)

On 12/02/2009 at 6:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my lawyer threatened to sue me because I can't afford his bill, which he sent to me after getting me out of a lawsuit. FML

#6569414
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11867) - you deserved it (34432)

On 12/02/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my very good friend ratted me out to my boss because I used the photocopier for personal use. He said he will always be my friend, but "rules are rules." FML

#6569085
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32481) - you deserved it (8591)

On 12/02/2009 at 3:20pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the bathroom and used the urinal. When I was done, I closed my zipper on my foreskin. FML

#6568411
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27213) - you deserved it (8229)

On 12/02/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by randm1 (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I looked outside with a grimace at the very heavy rainfall through which I had to trudge a long way. I waited ten minutes for it to let up, only to find it was getting heavier. So, I started walking anyway. After getting soaked to the bone, I walked through my door, and it stopped. FML

#6567940
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26099) - you deserved it (3145)

On 12/02/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by Furry (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, at work I was told I'd be working over Christmas because I don't drink. Apparently if you're tee-total, you're not entitled to spend time with your family and are incapable of having fun. FML

#6565832
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30233) - you deserved it (3707)

On 12/02/2009 at 8:27am - work - by ostler (man) - United Kingdom

Today, while stepping out of the shower, I slipped and cut my head. I went to the hospital, got 8 stitches and was tested for head trauma. After hours of ignoring my calls and texts, my girlfriend finally responded, very angrily. Why? Today is her birthday, and I "selfishly made it about me." FML

#6565317
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39190) - you deserved it (3910)

On 12/02/2009 at 6:36am - health - by michelle91 (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, my family went to the Christmas tree farm, and cut down the perfect tree. When we got home we put the kids down for a nap and took some time to relax. We went out to the truck to bring the tree into the house, it was gone. Someone stole my Christmas tree from my driveway in broad daylight. FML

#6565181
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30630) - you deserved it (5440)

On 12/02/2009 at 5:57am - misc - by Project-Mayhem (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I told my long distance girlfriend I will be coming half way across the country to visit here since I have not seen her in a month, I gave her my flight information so she could pick me up at the airport. She responded with "That's when The Office is on, can you take a cab?" FML

#6560085
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34770) - you deserved it (5475)

On 12/01/2009 at 10:18pm - love - by Bostonian (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my parents found cigarettes in my car. After a long argument lasting over an hour, I convinced them that they weren't mine and that I don't smoke. A few minutes later, I went to work. Guess who decided to visit me during my smoke break. FML

#6556684
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7416) - you deserved it (81574)

On 12/01/2009 at 7:49pm - misc - by reptar2009 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was driving down a highway during rush-hour. I heard my phone ring and couldn't find it. I bent down to feel around for it and got in an accident and totaled my car. The ringing? A commercial on the radio. Where was my phone? On my dresser at home. FML

#6554533
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9368) - you deserved it (65256)

On 12/01/2009 at 5:48pm - misc - by horribledriver (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was in class. I am an older student going back for my PhD. I was kicked out of class for "sassing" my instructor for telling him he was wrong about what took place at an event I was actually present at. My instructor is a 22 year old TA. FML

#6552021
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43332) - you deserved it (4002)

On 12/01/2009 at 2:49pm - misc - by sassman (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I finally released my first music album. I dropped out of college to pay for it after my friends who liked my music urged me to. They keep telling me how much they love the CD. I've only sold one copy. Turns out they put it on a sharing site so only one of them would have to buy it. FML

#6546690
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35973) - you deserved it (14441)

On 12/01/2009 at 1:57am - misc - by Rob (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: