Today, my fiancée got out of the shower, completely shaved. I went over to her, wrapped her in a hug and asked her what the occasion was. She pulled away and said that she had a gyno appointment. My fiancée will clean up for the gyno, but not for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43943) - you deserved it (7532)
On 04/26/2009 at 3:15pm - love - by jimboxo (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was taking a nap while my mom was at work. I woke up when she came home and didn't think anything of it so I went back to sleep. When I woke up again, I went downstairs and our 52" plasma screen TV, my xbox 360, and $1500 computer were all stolen. I'm guessing that wasn't my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50458) - you deserved it (9330)
On 04/26/2009 at 12:21pm - misc - by fuckMYlife94321 (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was hanging out at my school with some friends when my mom came to pick me up. A girl I knew wanted a hug before I left. I turned around to hug her and a clip on my backpack got stuck on her tank top. I tuned away the clip pulled the shirt ripping it and exposing her naked chest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55375) - you deserved it (6114)
On 04/26/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by Mikey (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I received my new cell phone and activated my account. As part of the package, I get to choose five numbers that I can call without using any minutes. I could still only think of three numbers I call regularly: my parent's house, my mom's cell and my ex's cell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39024) - you deserved it (11146)
On 04/25/2009 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)
Today, it was my birthday and everyone in the office chipped in to buy me a card, and nothing but a card. It had a pre-written message on it and a space to write "Love, *insert name*" where everyone signed their names. The "Love" was crossed out and replaced with "From". FML
I agree, your life sucks (47990) - you deserved it (4214)
On 04/25/2009 at 10:23am - work - by Gabrielguitar (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was doing a fitness test. Though clumsy, I managed to spin around a bat then dash across a balance beam, run through some tires, and walk across a log floating in water. Pleased with my performance, I walked to the bathroom, tripped on my shoelace, and busted my head on the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38639) - you deserved it (3690)
On 04/25/2009 at 5:09am - misc - by Clumsy (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, was my graduation from a prestigious university. In two days I start working at a hot dog stand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53890) - you deserved it (12280)
On 04/25/2009 at 2:39am - work - by CollegeGrad (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, I was at the store with my wife. As we were walking out, I helped an elderly woman get through the door. As I was opening the door, my foot got stuck on the door and my face was catapulted into the women's breasts. It wasn't until we got into the car that my wife burst into hysterics. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38408) - you deserved it (3203)
On 04/25/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by GreenMonstR (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was ringing a lady up at the register. I noticed her son was doing the peepee dance, so I rushed the payment process up and handed her the receipt. The little boy says "Mommy" and the mom looks down, then back up at me saying, "Your problem now" and walks out. The boy peed on the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46323) - you deserved it (1531)
On 04/25/2009 at 12:35am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19375) - you deserved it (54482)
On 04/25/2009 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was taking the bus home. A dirty homeless man boarded the bus, put his bag on the overhead rack, and sat down. His bag was leaking and dripped onto my shoulder. I asked the man what it was. He said, "Roadkill." I now have dead animal blood on my best business suit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44000) - you deserved it (2079)
On 04/24/2009 at 11:10pm - misc - by Lo_Bolian (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was walking through town when I saw a plastic bag on the ground. Trying to be a good citizen, I picked it up, intending on throwing it in the trash. When I looked up, there wasn't a trash can for another hundred feet. So I put it back down. Now I've got a $200 fine to pay for littering. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19264) - you deserved it (40526)
On 04/24/2009 at 9:55pm - misc - by fml (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, While I was running around the block I had this urge to spit. Suddenly I noticed this beautiful girl running in front me. Trying to impress her, I smiled and by mistake drooled everything on the pavement. She wasn't impressed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11085) - you deserved it (39814)
On 04/24/2009 at 8:13pm - misc - by djteller (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)
Monday 17 June 2013
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