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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was washing my hair in the shower when the water went ice cold. It's 20 degrees outside and we have soft water which takes a longer time to wash away soap. FML

#7520027
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23913) - you deserved it (2730)

On 01/23/2010 at 12:53pm - misc - by Moondoggie_ggk69 (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I refused to share a toothbrush with her. FML

#7518795
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36916) - you deserved it (6078)

On 01/23/2010 at 11:14am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking on a main street downtown. Suddenly, I felt someone slap my butt. I turned around, expecting to be my girlfriend who was to meet me there and almost gave an old homeless man a kiss on the cheek. FML

#7515977
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27085) - you deserved it (4255)

On 01/23/2010 at 3:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was picking up my little sister from school and while waiting I decided to have a smoke. I was caught and was told to go to the principal's office. I'm 23. FML

#7508111
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16284) - you deserved it (27354)

On 01/22/2010 at 9:10pm - misc - by oldschool (man) - United States (California)

Today, I have been dating an incredibly gorgeous woman. She had a poor self image and after the longest time, I finally convinced her to seek counselling to help her self esteem. It worked. So well in fact that she just broke up with me because she "finally realized she could do so much better" FML

#7505237
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35972) - you deserved it (5222)

On 01/22/2010 at 7:10pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she suspected me of cheating. She thought I was cheating because she caught me sneaking out in the middle of the night. I was sneaking out to plan my proposal to her. FML

#7503398
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39278) - you deserved it (3982)

On 01/22/2010 at 5:41pm - love - by ponyboy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got to sleep in the same bed as the love of my life...and her new boyfriend. FML

#7502995
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30669) - you deserved it (5661)

On 01/22/2010 at 5:27pm - love - by hoody (man) - United States

Today, I found out that when you hit the neighbor's dog with your car, they might chase you a mile with a shotgun. FML

#7493759
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11118) - you deserved it (42299)

On 01/22/2010 at 3:14am - animals - by S.Bunny (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was sitting in IHOP with my girlfriend of six months when she brought in her son of three years she had neglected to tell me about, and asked 'Does this change things?' FML

#7493189
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35378) - you deserved it (4319)

On 01/22/2010 at 2:26am - love - by Rodrigeuz26 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at work I was ringing up some tampons for a woman, and I try to interact with the shoppers as much as possible. I was trying to think of something witty or funny to say but drew a blank, so I decided just to say "have a nice night." What I actually said was "have a nice flow". FML

#7492497
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10794) - you deserved it (32205)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:26am - work - by iluvjenknee (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I took a picture of my "privates" on my girlfriends cell phone and set it as her background without her knowing. Minutes later, I heard her mom scream. She has the same phone. FML

#7492476
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8439) - you deserved it (38771)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:25am - intimacy - by masterzach21 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I thought it would be romantic to fill my girlfriend's room with scented candles and surprise her when she was done showering. I lied there naked, with Kenny G playing softly. I heard a knock on the door, so I told her to come in. To my surprise it was her mom. FML

#7492284
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10385) - you deserved it (22979)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Toldyouso (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I spent 3 hours in my home recording studio. I was recording vocals and was trying to hit a very hard series of notes. I nailed it after 2 hours and listened. You can hear the vocals, but the EQ settings were tweaked in just the right way where you can hear my dog licking his nuts. FML

#7490681
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27139) - you deserved it (5389)

On 01/22/2010 at 12:08am - animals - by Parental (man) - United States (Wisconsin)



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