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Man or woman?

Today, I went to a rock concert and met this amazing girl. We started talking and then swapped cell numbers. Five minutes later, she asks to see my cellphone, so I gave it to her. Once I got home I went to text her and saw that she deleted her number. FML

#6388280
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32720) - you deserved it (5290)

On 11/21/2009 at 3:28am - love - by SeeBrendenBurn (man) - United States (California)

Today, I thought I'd surprise my girlfriend with a bear hug. I found her in the hall with her back to me talking to friends. As I walked up behind her and was about to wrap my arms around her, she said, "so does anyone have any ideas about how I should break it off with my boyfriend?" FML

#6387420
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40795) - you deserved it (2614)

On 11/21/2009 at 12:59am - love - by Fail (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, at work at a grocery store an old couple came through my checkout lane. As I was putting their bagged groceries in the cart, the old man started feeling me up. FML

#6386957
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28649) - you deserved it (2316)

On 11/21/2009 at 12:03am - work - by beckbm23 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, it was supposed to be payday. Instead, it was the day I found out that, for two weeks, I have been volunteering for Habitat for Humanity, and am not actually employed by a construction company. FML

#6386124
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9926) - you deserved it (38077)

On 11/20/2009 at 10:59pm - work - by Masonlee89 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my jeep wouldn't start so I opened the hood. I slammed my fingers in my jeep's hood. It latched shut. My hood release was inside the cab, and the jeep was in neutral and on an incline. It started to roll... with a ditch about 5 yards away. I had to skin my own fingers to get them out. FML

#6383914
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42295) - you deserved it (7642)

On 11/20/2009 at 8:28pm - misc - by FoundMyLighter (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I woke up to find my house TP'd. I also noticed our entire house was devoid of toilet paper. Someone had broken in just to steal our toilet paper and TP our own house with it. FML

#6382728
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31895) - you deserved it (2801)

On 11/20/2009 at 6:50pm - misc - by WhyTheEff (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was eating at KFC when my roommate unexpectedly showed up. He asked me who I was there with, and I told him I was on a sexy date with his mom. Just then a woman 5 feet away turned around and gave me a disgusted look. Guess whose mom was in town visiting for the weekend? FML

#6379842
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11910) - you deserved it (33787)

On 11/20/2009 at 1:30pm - misc - by pchis4ever (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I thought it would be funny to touch my girlfriend's back with my cold hands. She thought it would be funny to crush my left testicle with her knee as I was trying to fall asleep. FML

#6378966
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12397) - you deserved it (35928)

On 11/20/2009 at 10:51am - love - by inpain (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when I realized I had to sneeze. Not wanting to sneeze on her, I tried my hardest to hold it in. When I climaxed, I couldn't hold it in any more and sneezed all over her face. FML

#6378633
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8534) - you deserved it (17363)

On 11/20/2009 at 9:53am - intimacy - by WorstMedicalBill (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I discovered that my boss listens to the things we say about him on the audio-enabled cameras at our work. I'm thus currently jobless. FML

#6378315
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8968) - you deserved it (34852)

On 11/20/2009 at 8:56am - work - by HellaBomber91 (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me so she could "let her life flow in the direction she wants." Apparently that includes smoking, stealing and making out with other girls at parties. The best part? She wants to get back together "after she matures and gets it out of her system." FML

#6377568
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27939) - you deserved it (2786)

On 11/20/2009 at 4:30am - love - by ApparentlyIFail (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was planning on going on a date with a girl I've really liked. She told me today was the only we could hang out before her trip. I got an expensive hair cut, planned on cooking her dinner, and pulled a few strings and got on the list for a big concert. Turns out she'd rather go shopping FML

#6377384
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28588) - you deserved it (3484)

On 11/20/2009 at 3:25am - love - by sadday (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I used text-to-speech just so that I can hear "I love you" for once. FML

#6377281
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42564) - you deserved it (6918)

On 11/20/2009 at 2:29am - love - by lonelyman (man) - United States (Florida)



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