Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I was stuck sitting at a cafeteria table next to the girl who broke my heart and her boyfriend. I got to overhear the conversation, which included "I want to go to the car" followed by "Me too, but I don't have a condom." FML

#7720142
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33995) - you deserved it (3192)

On 01/30/2010 at 8:35pm - love - by WishesWasDeaf (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I accidentally emailed the entire company everyone's salary, sales history, and the names of four people I intended to fire. FML

#7709427
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12950) - you deserved it (46616)

On 01/30/2010 at 2:21pm - work - by Whoopsx99 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out I was getting a divorce. My wife is leaving me for my brother, saying that now that he has money there is nothing that can stand in their way. I recently decided to send him money to help him get back on his feet. FML

#7708774
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42963) - you deserved it (2873)

On 01/30/2010 at 1:59pm - love - by hahahaha090114 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking to school. When I was about halfway there, someone put a gun to the back of my head and told me to give him all my money. As I slowly turned around, I saw it was my dad putting a banana to my head. FML

#7700878
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38470) - you deserved it (5399)

On 01/30/2010 at 8:16am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I took my 8 year old nephew to Laser Tag for his birthday party. I reluctantly was forced into playing one game. Apparently, no one explained the rules to one child and instead of 'shooting' me with his laser pointer, he kicked me straight in the balls. FML

#7694418
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30407) - you deserved it (3341)

On 01/30/2010 at 12:40am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found a wallet belonging to some guy, it had $355 inside. Because he had his address written inside, I decided to return it hoping for a reward. I drove for 40 mins and finally got to his house during peak hour. All he did was say "oh cool". FML

#7693215
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31879) - you deserved it (14251)

On 01/30/2010 at 12:06am - money - by Sheggie (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, against the will of the kids in my class, we played kick ball. The first time I rolled the ball, the tallest, biggest kid kicked it as hard as he could. I caught it though, with my nuts. FML

#7676063
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25540) - you deserved it (5048)

On 01/29/2010 at 3:19pm - work - by ouch (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was caught going on Facebook at work. I was called into my boss' office to be reprimanded, and while he was lecturing me on the importance of staying focussed and the misuse of company property, his computer beeped. It was his Facebook chat notifying him of a new message. FML

#7671025
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34472) - you deserved it (4930)

On 01/29/2010 at 10:33am - work - by boredatwork (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after having been a vegetarian for 8 years because I'm opposed to cruelty to animals, I lost a bet and had to eat a whole cheeseburger. I loved it. FML

#7666116
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12555) - you deserved it (56406)

On 01/29/2010 at 2:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was skiing really fast and there was a sign saying 'Slow Down'. Feeling rather good about myself I decided to jump over the sign. Whilst jumping, however, I caught my ski tips on the sign and went face first into the ground. Hard. FML

#7653625
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5757) - you deserved it (52853)

On 01/28/2010 at 9:01pm - health - by Skier (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mom asked me if I would be embarrassed if she got a tramp stamp. FML

#7651599
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30125) - you deserved it (2524)

On 01/28/2010 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my headphones were broken, so I fixed them with super glue. Without thinking, I stuck them in my ear and listened to some music. When it came time to take them out, I couldn't. FML

#7644326
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9364) - you deserved it (51056)

On 01/28/2010 at 3:25pm - misc - by Lance (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that shouting 'arsehole' at a speeding car is not a good idea. Two chavs MIGHT just turn around, drive onto the pavement and push you into a bush. FML

#7640098
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11346) - you deserved it (27961)

On 01/28/2010 at 10:43am - misc - by Daivv (man) - United Kingdom (Somerset)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: