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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was shopping at the grocery market and was next in line. Behind me was a woman who only had two items, so I nicely let her in front of me, as it looked like she was in a hurry. When she was all rung up, she decided to pay her $16.45 in loose change which needed to be counted out. FML

#6510411
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31236) - you deserved it (5923)

On 11/29/2009 at 8:49am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, Me and my girlfriend went and saw "The Blind Side." I sobbed throughout the entire movie. My girlfriend didn't shed a tear. FML

#6509087
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25717) - you deserved it (14461)

On 11/29/2009 at 4:33am - love - by jimmyt420 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my friend accidentally left her facebook logged onto my computer after she left my house. I looked on her facebook and found a very long message between her and my other friends talking about how much they hate me. FML

#6506923
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40781) - you deserved it (8066)

On 11/29/2009 at 1:31am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I learned it is best not to let your cordless mouse die while secretly watching porn right when your mom walks in. FML

#6501664
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9356) - you deserved it (26708)

On 11/28/2009 at 9:11pm - intimacy - by nickyy (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my girlfriend's parents wanted to cook dinner for me. After a whole day of cooking up a storm, her parents cooked an elaborate meal of roast lamb, pork chops and grilled chicken. Rejecting a meal is like spitting in ones face in Chinese culture. I'm vegetarian. FML

#6500045
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34948) - you deserved it (13897)

On 11/28/2009 at 7:40pm - misc - by NickC (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I felt fairly depressed about being single for the holidays during work. This cute girl came to my register asking about our sales ad. After telling her we had no copies, she asked for my number. I shouted: "Finally, someone wants to go out with me." She wanted the store's number to call. FML

#6497714
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11641) - you deserved it (45773)

On 11/28/2009 at 5:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I hit a parked car. It happened to be my driving instructor's car. While he was instructing me, sitting in the passenger seat. I don't think I'll pass. FML

#6497177
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23309) - you deserved it (13271)

On 11/28/2009 at 4:37pm - misc - by badDriver (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was at lunch with my mom and we were talking about how to tell my brother that Santa Clause isn't real. After we finished our conversation, I heard someone crying. Little did I know, two little kids and their parents were sitting in the booth behind me. FML

#6494207
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11797) - you deserved it (32076)

On 11/28/2009 at 12:36pm - misc - by TooTallNiCo (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, a mall cop tore up my 'Free hugs' sign. FML

#6489895
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33792) - you deserved it (15846)

On 11/28/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Cornbreesha (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went shopping with some friends. We were tired from walking around the mall all night, so we decided to sit and relax at a table. I was about to close my eyes when I got smacked on the forehead by an orange falling from the second floor of the mall. FML

#6487982
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27344) - you deserved it (3632)

On 11/28/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by Orangehead (man) - United States (California)

Today, I invited my crush to come and spend thanksgiving dinner with me and my family, she agreed but asked me if she could bring her friend. Turns out her "friend" was actually her boyfriend and they drank all the expensive wine I bought. FML

#6485720
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27490) - you deserved it (7138)

On 11/27/2009 at 10:02pm - love - by lonelyguy (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I took my daughter to the zoo. I threw a piece of my sandwich towards a very cute chimpanzee. As a thank you, he threw a piece of crap at me, which exploded all over my shirt. FML

#6482495
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9616) - you deserved it (44212)

On 11/27/2009 at 6:36pm - misc - by Thanks (man) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I found out that my wife had an affair with our marriage counselor. FML

#6480893
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56760) - you deserved it (2856)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:39pm - love - by Nobody (man) - United States (Illinois)



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