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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, while working as a cashier, I was flirting with this cute girl. When I asked her if she had her store card she said "No", paused, then said "Can I give you my number?". I said "Sure, that would be awesome, do you want mine?". She said no. I didn't know I could just enter the card number. FML

#5929779
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10126) - you deserved it (32093)

On 10/21/2009 at 3:53pm - love - by fyourlife (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had my 21st birthday party. My friends told me to have the party even though it had been 5 months since my actual 21st birthday. They asked me why I didn't have one originally and I jokingly told them it was because I didn't think anyone would come. Turned out nobody came after all. FML

#5926430
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30645) - you deserved it (3007)

On 10/21/2009 at 8:15am - misc - by JimmySmoothBeans (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was standing in the gas station, pulling out my wallet to pay the $100 of gas I just filled my car with. I opened my wallet and found a note saying "borrowed money for food". FML

#5925847
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36430) - you deserved it (3775)

On 10/21/2009 at 6:05am - money - by Pissed (man) - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, I was paintballing when I got shot in the stomach and winded. As I was gasping for breath on the ground, someone came up and shot me point blank in my crotch. FML

#5925433
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38414) - you deserved it (6204)

On 10/21/2009 at 4:27am - misc - by sore (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my math teacher decided to use my acne as an example of symmetry in front of the whole class. FML

#5924929
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52135) - you deserved it (3606)

On 10/21/2009 at 2:59am - health - by acneface (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was watching a movie with my sister, my roommate, and my girlfriend. Half way through the movie, my girlfriend left the room and texted me that she was breaking up with me. She then came back in the room, sat on my bed, and enjoyed the rest of the movie with us. FML

#5924772
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42833) - you deserved it (3022)

On 10/21/2009 at 2:39am - love - by Small_Fry_Hero (man) - United States (California)

Today, whilst holding a hand rail on a packed bus, I was rubbing my hand along, and playing with, what I thought was a join in the metal. It was an old woman's finger. FML

#5924730
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10871) - you deserved it (30033)

On 10/21/2009 at 2:32am - misc - by FingerBang (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got chewed out at work when my supervisor showed up, because my coworkers told my supervisor they couldn't find me for an hour and a half. Why couldn't they find me? Because they'd left to go get coffee. FML

#5924577
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28851) - you deserved it (1800)

On 10/21/2009 at 1:40am - work - by wrongtarget (man) - United States

Today, I told my girlfriend over MSN that we had to talk. I log on to facebook and the first thing I see is that she changed our relationship from "In a Relationship" to "It's Complicated." FML

#5923458
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25485) - you deserved it (10238)

On 10/21/2009 at 12:07am - love - by wtfrelationship (man) - Singapore

Today, the driver side mirror of my car was smashed off and laying on the ground. On the window was a $75.00 ticket for improper equipment for not having a mirror. FML

#5923443
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28368) - you deserved it (1663)

On 10/21/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by Timebaseboy (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was sitting in the cafeteria when one of my friends yelled out "Jake is uncircumcised!" as a joke. The girl I have a crush on was sitting at the table behind me and turned around and asked if it was true. I said yes, she responded with "wow, hope I never have to see that." FML

#5921737
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19217) - you deserved it (3729)

On 10/20/2009 at 10:27pm - intimacy - by badnewsbears (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I saw my son. I didn't know I had a son. FML

#5919547
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37843) - you deserved it (22568)

On 10/20/2009 at 8:44pm - kids - by Raiders4ever (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I lost my house keys while staggering home drunk, so I decided to climb through an opened window and promptly went to bed. Twenty minutes later the police wake me up while attempting to search my place. The neighbors thought I was a burglar and called the cops. FML

#5916110
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11326) - you deserved it (31421)

On 10/20/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by FailedEngineer (man) - Australia (Victoria)



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