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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was spacing out in French class and randomly got an erection. My professor called on me to stand up at the front of the room and say, "I am wearing a belt," in French. Not everyone was observing just my belt. FML

#7782514
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34806) - you deserved it (5945)

On 02/01/2010 at 3:51pm - misc - by boner (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, while in the elevator with the girl from my office that I've been crushing on, but never spoken to, I said "aren't elevators awkward?" After a long silence, she got off three floors before our office. FML

#7774982
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13572) - you deserved it (25172)

On 02/01/2010 at 7:36am - misc - by wilsmith (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, I was playing rugby. I was tackled very hard at the end of a play, and I got up to find my head bleeding profusely. Not one person offered to drive me to the ER. I had to drive myself to get six stitches in the face. FML

#7771454
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31057) - you deserved it (3467)

On 02/01/2010 at 2:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my friend was showing me pictures of her and her family. I told her to stop at one of the pictures. I started laughing my back off and said that she looked grotesque. She asked me if I was serious, I swore that I was. It was actually a picture of her sister, who died 1 year ago. FML

#7768128
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8802) - you deserved it (49963)

On 02/01/2010 at 12:45am - misc - by Sam (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I sliced my finger open because my roommate's girlfriend put a broken ceramic plate in the recycling. I was putting some paper in the bin and all of a sudden, an inch and a half of my flesh is naked to the world. I don't have medical insurance, so I fixed it with superglue. FML

#7766236
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30873) - you deserved it (9067)

On 02/01/2010 at 12:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my little brother was playing with my cat, getting it to chase a laser pointer. He thought it would be funny to shine the laser pointer over my nuts. FML

#7760741
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29533) - you deserved it (3449)

On 01/31/2010 at 10:16pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he'd like to dress me in a squirrel suit and chase me through the forest. This was the surprising result of a discussion on how to spice up our love life. FML

#7753235
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29199) - you deserved it (4534)

On 01/31/2010 at 7:24pm - love - by JK (man) - United States (California)

Today, I'm in the hospital because I sliced my leg open. Why? I jumped off my bed and scratched myself on the metal bed frame when Miss America was crowned to Miss Virginia. I'm 20 years old, and a man. FML

#7744599
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8761) - you deserved it (33016)

On 01/31/2010 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I realized what all the women I've been with have in common: Craigslist. FML

#7743505
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7909) - you deserved it (28059)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:42pm - love - by depr3ssed (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while at a party, Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" started playing. For being the only one who didn't know the lyrics, I had beer thrown on me, my shirt stolen, and I was locked outside for half an hour. It's below freezing. FML

#7742822
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21517) - you deserved it (36308)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was watching a horror movie with my girlfriend. Suddenly, the killer jumped on screen. My girlfriend screamed. I peed myself. FML

#7736774
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36014) - you deserved it (13310)

On 01/31/2010 at 5:16am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend had replaced our picture in her locket for a picture of Taylor Lautner shirtless. FML

#7724225
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36310) - you deserved it (5946)

On 01/30/2010 at 10:20pm - love - by Twilightsux (man) - United States

Today, I was stuck sitting at a cafeteria table next to the girl who broke my heart and her boyfriend. I got to overhear the conversation, which included "I want to go to the car" followed by "Me too, but I don't have a condom." FML

#7720142
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33994) - you deserved it (3192)

On 01/30/2010 at 8:35pm - love - by WishesWasDeaf (man) - United States (West Virginia)



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