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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I had to stay after school to make up for a test . When I got outside, I saw mah mom wasn't there to pick me up . I called her an she explained that there was an emergency . I walked six miles home to see that the emergency was that Ellen had Taylor Swift today an she couldn't miss it . FML

#6060393
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28651) - you deserved it (2503)

On 10/29/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today My Son Couldn't Fina All Tha Parts To His Cub Scout Uniform. I Had A Sarious Talk With Him About Baing Prapard An How Ha Would Nad To Liva With Tha Consaquancas Of Not Having Tha Right Outfit On. Whan Wa Arrivd At Tha Maating Avaryona Was In Costumas Bacausa It's Hallowaan. I Forgot. Raal FML

#6056189
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6349) - you deserved it (39691)

On 10/29/2009 at 3:20pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

TODAY, I HAD TO THROW AWAY TWENTY CONDOMS THAT WERE ALL EXPIRED, CUZ THAT'S HOW ACTIVE MAH SEX LIFE IS. FML

#6055815
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18687) - you deserved it (4721)

On 10/29/2009 at 2:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today I Wore Mah Kilt To The University I Attend. Getting Tired Of The Stares Which I Was Recieving I Yelled ( It's Cause Its Too Big To Fit In Mah Pants ). As Soon As The Words Left Mah Mouth A Gust Of Wind Cummed And Blew Mah Kilt Up Around Mah Waist Revealing That Mah Previous Claim Was Untrue. FML

#6053376
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9703) - you deserved it (50685)

On 10/29/2009 at 10:31am - misc - by TrueScotsman (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I Had To Lie To Mah Dentist About How Often I Brush Mah Teeth!! I Honestly Don't Remember The Last Time I Did!! FML

#6048206
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7219) - you deserved it (108456)

On 10/28/2009 at 10:54pm - health - by mintyfresh (man) - United States (California)

Today , it was my wedding day. I gave a speech about the frst time my wife an I met. I said I knew she was the perfect woman for me an it was love at frst sight. I lookd to my right as she stormd off an then realizd I had told a story about my ex-grlfriendho was sitting in the crowd. FML

#6042161
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9051) - you deserved it (83366)

On 10/28/2009 at 5:22pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today , I opened my personal laptop looool at a company meeting. I forgot that the battery died while watching a porno last night. It was ten second of slurping , spitting and gagging. It was my frst day. FML

#6040415
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7848) - you deserved it (33045)

On 10/28/2009 at 3:14pm - intimacy - by Moody (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, mah fiancée an I were going on our honeymoon . Our flight was delayd by two hours . It landedhen our connecting flight to St . Lucia was taking off . The arline said they were holding the flight for us, so we sprintd from D gate to A, in time to watch the plane pull away . big fat FML

#6040297
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33568) - you deserved it (2538)

On 10/28/2009 at 3:03pm - misc - by Gw (man) - United States (Florida)

yesterday I lerened that grls don't like it when u pass out from carrying them to the bed. What they DO like... is telling all their friends. FML

#6039295
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29168) - you deserved it (8513)

On 10/28/2009 at 1:07pm - love - by thatguy (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend told me ow disappointed and depressed se was tat se could never make me ard. Se started ranting about er looks and ow se fails at everyting. I didn't know ow to reply. I was ardile se told me. FML

#6030769
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18629) - you deserved it (3242)

On 10/27/2009 at 9:28pm - intimacy - by timmynotjimmy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, Mah Girlfriand's Bast Friand Was Dumpad, And Was Absolutaly Daprassad. My Girlfriand Thought Sha'd Show Har Sympathy By Braaking Up With Ma So Thay "could Ba Singla Togathar." Big Fat FML

#6028042
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46866) - you deserved it (2434)

On 10/27/2009 at 7:13pm - love - by dumped (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I noticd that I've been spelling my company's name looool wrong in my email signature for over a year . FML

#6027287
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7562) - you deserved it (40463)

On 10/27/2009 at 6:24pm - work - by nobodyreadsmyemails (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took a trip to Wal-Mart. Tere's a car was tat tey conveniently built rigt outside of tis Wal-Mart. So as I was leaving, I decided to make use of tis car was, even tinking about te $200 wort of groceries I ad just purcased. I drive a pick-up truck. FML

#6022532
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7840) - you deserved it (61876)

On 10/27/2009 at 11:36am - misc - by dave (man) - United States



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