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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I'm in my fourth month of training in the US Navy. I'm 3000 miles from home. I joined to give my wife a better life. Since I've been gone, she decided that she liked being single. FML

#5345779
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42025) - you deserved it (3916)

On 09/19/2009 at 2:18am - love - by singlesailor (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got really annoyed waiting for a bus that was supposed to come every 10 minutes. After a few minutes of waiting, I realized the "bus stop" was really a no parking sign. FML

#5338009
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6437) - you deserved it (44250)

On 09/18/2009 at 7:28pm - misc - by signinept (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had a blind date with a girl someone in my office set me up with. Before the waitress returned with our drinks, this girl asked me to go to her parent's house and pretend to be the father of her yet unborn child because the real father is a drug addict and in jail for stealing her dad's car. FML

Today, I was in class, playing online poker and keeping up my winning record. I eventually got seated against a guy who beat me at every hand. I heard laughing behind me after I lost all my winnings. The guy behind me had just made an account, looked over my shoulder, and won all my money. FML

#5333449
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14913) - you deserved it (47746)

On 09/18/2009 at 3:15pm - money - by shushingmoon (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was at work, finishing a presentation for my boss. Five minutes after I presented it to him, his boss walked in and asked for the same presentation I had just given. My boss presented it. His boss then turned to me and asked me "what use are you around here?" FML

#5328947
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37642) - you deserved it (2384)

On 09/18/2009 at 7:08am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Iraq (Dhi Qar)

Today, at my work at a designer clothing store, we received a list of photos from the police of known shoplifters. My coworkers were looking at the list saying "Eugh, look at that one: you'd shoplift with a face like that". I walked over and saw that they were looking at a photo of my boyfriend. FML

Today, I took my 5 year-old son to the barber shop. When the man finishes with him, I tell the guy, "while we're here, I might as well get a trim too." My son then exclaims very loudly in front of a very full barber's shop, "Dad! You don't need a haircut, you need hair!" FML

#5327120
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30296) - you deserved it (6006)

On 09/18/2009 at 2:17am - kids - by ben (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, a professor approached me in the hall to ask if, since I'm a math major, I could tutor one of her communications majors in a required Calculus course. Apparently the volunteer tutor the school provides "is a complete dumbass." I'm the school's volunteer tutor. FML

#5322964
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30795) - you deserved it (3892)

On 09/17/2009 at 10:23pm - work - by bastawhiz (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend and I went to a bar during Irishfest. When I returned to my girlfriend she was crying and told me that this guy pushed her. I confronted the guy and poured my beer on him who just happened to be the chief of police. He was trying to make room for a guy in a wheelchair. FML

#5313316
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11755) - you deserved it (50643)

On 09/17/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by nV1ous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML

#5309221
374 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22385) - you deserved it (77974)

On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was diagnosed with diabetes. I went to tell my grandpa, who immediately said, "I'm sorry, let's go get ice cream to cheer you up." FML

#5307828
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40000) - you deserved it (3399)

On 09/17/2009 at 3:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, after expressing some of my reservations about the amount of work I have to do to accomplish my thesis on time, my graduate advisor compared my search for knowledge to Tom Hanks' odyssey in the movie "Castaway". FML

#5307387
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20247) - you deserved it (3636)

On 09/17/2009 at 2:15am - work - by Economess (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, as I was walking home, three burly men suddenly began to approach me. Thinking they were going to mug me, I reached for my pocketknife and said "Stay away, I have a knife." Turns out they just wanted directions to an ice cream shop for their daughters, who were now bawling their eyes out. FML

#5306318
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11417) - you deserved it (49064)

On 09/17/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by almostmugged (man) - United States (Illinois)



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