Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my mother and I were driving through Del Taco. Instead of ordering "Macho Diet Coke", she said "Macho Diet Cock". After correcting herself and pulling up to the window, the employee who goes to my high school gave her the drink and his phone number. FML

#7898835
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27234) - you deserved it (2660)

On 02/05/2010 at 2:52am - misc - by MachoFluster (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was in the car with my 16 year old daughter. There was a guy on a fast looking motorcycle next to me at the stop light. I yelled to him to "get it up!" so that he would do a wheelie. Just before the light turned green he yelled back, "You're too old for me, but I'll get it up for her!" FML

#7897076
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9336) - you deserved it (30186)

On 02/05/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I told my girlfriend's father that I wanted to talk about his daughter. I then went on to tell him I was thinking about 'popping the cherry', instead of 'popping the question'. FML

#7883509
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23207) - you deserved it (12933)

On 02/04/2010 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by stoopidpoop (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was on a road-trip with some of my buddies, when we stopped at a gas station. When I opened the door to their bathroom, brown water flowed out, soaking my legs up to my knees. I then spent another 2 hours in an enclosed vehicle. FML

#7860912
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25699) - you deserved it (2158)

On 02/03/2010 at 10:18pm - misc - by UptoHERE (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked outside, slipped, busted my head, and had to get 7 stitches. Turns out my son thought it would be funny to spray the sidewalk with water last night so it would freeze. He got a laugh, and I spent over $100 on the stitches. FML

#7847949
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27539) - you deserved it (2774)

On 02/03/2010 at 3:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I finally removed my car insurance after realizing it costs too much money. Since I then had more money, I went to celebrate with ice cream. On the way, I got hit by a truck. FML

#7845593
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11402) - you deserved it (53244)

On 02/03/2010 at 12:44pm - money - by jk2010 (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, my car got a wheel lock because I had 5 tickets. Three of those tickets dated back to 2006. I got my car and license in 2008. FML

#7835541
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32508) - you deserved it (3485)

On 02/03/2010 at 12:11am - money - by olyswimmer (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, after almost nine months of doing anything and everything to show my love for my girlfriend and make her happy, she told me she would give "anything" to relive the one week of her and her ex's relationship where she was the happiest in her life. FML

#7831807
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30513) - you deserved it (3339)

On 02/02/2010 at 10:52pm - love - by redjesus69 (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was on Craigslist looking for a new guitar. I found the diamond earrings and necklace set I gave to my girlfriend last year. She wants 50 bucks for them. FML

#7821879
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29796) - you deserved it (2414)

On 02/02/2010 at 7:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went indoor rock climbing with my uncle and his 5 year-old girl. I'm about halfway up the hardest ascent when my arm cramps up. As I stretched my arm, my cousin yells up at me in her tiny voice, "Prove you're a man and climb that wall!" I fell off. I was emasculated by a 5 year-old. FML

#7821444
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22820) - you deserved it (5506)

On 02/02/2010 at 7:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I thought it would be romantic to take my girlfriend to the beach. It was raining so we left our shoes and phones in the car so we wouldn't be bothered. Apparently, I left my keys in the car too. The car was locked. FML

#7812980
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9000) - you deserved it (25038)

On 02/02/2010 at 12:07pm - misc - by Forgetfull (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I ran into my ex's family, and found out they are going to Europe. Funnily enough, so am I. Even funnier is the fact that we are going on the same date, at the same time, on the same flights, and the tour starts on the same day in the same place. FML

#7810675
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39013) - you deserved it (3623)

On 02/02/2010 at 9:08am - misc - by jacques (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. This was after I saved several paychecks to afford to give her a weekend away for her birthday. Why did she end things so quick? Because apparently I'm balding faster than her Dad. I'm 20. FML

#7806645
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30568) - you deserved it (2504)

On 02/02/2010 at 2:34am - love - by BaldingQuick (man) - United States (Nebraska)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: