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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I finally received a paycheck for the first time in six months. I celebrated by promptly falling down a flight of stairs and losing consciousness. FML

#6422914
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23986) - you deserved it (4566)

On 11/23/2009 at 5:12pm - work - by DBR (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went over to my best friend's house only to have his little brother run up to us and confess his love to me. His little brother is twelve and I've tutored him for a year. I'm seventeen and male. Now my best friend thinks I 'taught' him something weird. He won't talk to me. FML

#6422707
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29620) - you deserved it (2194)

On 11/23/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by Yue (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my car crashed and the only refuge was at a nearby house, the resident of which was a crazy psycho. Now replace "crazy psycho" with "crazy ex-girlfriend who won't help you unless you compose a poem about how much you love her." FML

#6420890
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30522) - you deserved it (4551)

On 11/23/2009 at 11:40am - love - by worsethanzombies (man) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, my girlfriend broke up me with for being the "perfect boyfriend". Apparently I'm the best boyfriend she's ever had, and she didn't know how to take it. So she dumped me. FML

#6414657
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43902) - you deserved it (3447)

On 11/22/2009 at 10:59pm - love - by Micheal (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got a text from a woman containing many naked pictures of her. Apparently she meant to send those to her boyfriend whose number is one digit from mine. The bad part? My girlfriend was using my phone when I received that message. FML

#6406630
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43960) - you deserved it (2605)

On 11/22/2009 at 3:23pm - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, as I woke up early to do my physics homework, I heard my parents talk about how big a disappointment I am for them. They discussed how stupid, immature and how big a burden I was. They knew I was listening. FML

#6403187
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34232) - you deserved it (4076)

On 11/22/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by Cerezo (man) - Guatemala (Guatemala)

Today, I was finally able to hang out with a girl I really liked at a party. We had a great time and spent hours together. When I leaned in for a kiss at the end of the night, she stopped me and said that "you're a great guy, but we can't go out because you'll be bad for my social reputation." FML

#6403006
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37147) - you deserved it (3490)

On 11/22/2009 at 10:11am - love - by Jason (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I woke up after drunkenly hooking up with a girl who was really into Twilight. I felt bruises on the lower end of my neck and so I went to the mirror and checked it out. She bit me, 5 times. FML

#6392894
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13807) - you deserved it (36073)

On 11/21/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by jibberish (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had a tooth pulled. An hour or so later, I removed the gauze from my mouth, because I thought the bleeding had stopped. I got on my laptop. A few minutes later I looked down, to see that I had drooled blood all over the keyboard, and didn't know because my mouth was numb. FML

#6392030
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13102) - you deserved it (30840)

On 11/21/2009 at 6:21pm - health - by MrZach (man) - United States

Today, I realized that my girlfriend had never said anything about the proposal ring I had put into a box of her Froot Loops. When I hinted it to her, she said that the cereal had expired, so she threw out the box. FML

#6391175
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31454) - you deserved it (25232)

On 11/21/2009 at 4:44pm - love - by frootloops (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a rock concert and met this amazing girl. We started talking and then swapped cell numbers. Five minutes later, she asks to see my cellphone, so I gave it to her. Once I got home I went to text her and saw that she deleted her number. FML

#6388280
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32706) - you deserved it (5288)

On 11/21/2009 at 3:28am - love - by SeeBrendenBurn (man) - United States (California)

Today, I thought I'd surprise my girlfriend with a bear hug. I found her in the hall with her back to me talking to friends. As I walked up behind her and was about to wrap my arms around her, she said, "so does anyone have any ideas about how I should break it off with my boyfriend?" FML

#6387420
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40754) - you deserved it (2613)

On 11/21/2009 at 12:59am - love - by Fail (man) - United States (Oregon)



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