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Today, I went into work. After three years of working 55 hours a week they fire me by putting the contents of my locker at the front door that said "if not picked up by 10:00 am stuff will be donated." I work the night shift. I just lost three sweaters, two pairs of shoes, $60 and my job. FML

#5413535
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39039) - you deserved it (2256)

On 09/22/2009 at 1:08pm - work - by unemployed (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the dentist. I parked my car in what I thought was the dentist's car park. It was actually the car park for the business next door. I had to watch them clamp my car from the dentist's chair. FML

#5411274
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27496) - you deserved it (6158)

On 09/22/2009 at 7:20am - misc - by ohdamn (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I realized that my alcoholism has gotten so bad that I rotate liquor stores so the clerks don't think bad about me. FML

#5407765
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13657) - you deserved it (47202)

On 09/22/2009 at 12:37am - health - by Cpt_Concerned (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to cover for my coworker who didn't turn up for work. He is always late for work and I was pissed off about having to cover for him again so I said to my colleagues "He better be either in hospital or dead." Turns out he was dead. FML

#5403982
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39971) - you deserved it (12573)

On 09/21/2009 at 10:06pm - work - by mcdeez (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my girlfriend was getting up to leave and I, trying to be romantic, got up behind her and tried to swing her back down onto the bed and kiss her simultaneously, misjudged the distance and threw her into the wall, her head then bounced off the wall and into my forehead, spraining her nose. FML

#5394523
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8818) - you deserved it (21957)

On 09/21/2009 at 3:08pm - intimacy - by dontpanic (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I parked my truck next to a rather large SUV at school, went to class for 8 hours straight, came back and found my passenger side door crumpled from where they had backed out and hit it. They left a note on my window that said, "Sorry about your truck, but I don't have insurance." FML

#5393176
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38605) - you deserved it (2280)

On 09/21/2009 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my girlfriend asked if she should get birthcontrol, of course I said yes and offered to pay the 55 dollar fee. She got her physical and pills and then dumped me the next day. I basically paid 55 dollars so that she can sleep with other people. FML

#5392690
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24708) - you deserved it (3619)

On 09/21/2009 at 12:34pm - intimacy - by charlieday (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got a new cell phone. I was unable to retrieve my old contact list from my old phone, so I sent out a mass email asking my friends to "Give me your contact info, unless you don't want me to text/call you!" No one is responding. FML

#5390873
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31413) - you deserved it (11231)

On 09/21/2009 at 9:28am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me because she found a bra in my cupboard. It was hers. FML

#5389854
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39559) - you deserved it (3135)

On 09/21/2009 at 6:53am - love - by Wronged (man) - Singapore

Today, I got a client who ordered ice cream. She seemed really nice and I thought maybe she was into me. When I asked if she wanted peanuts for an additional 50 cents, she said no. Trying to be nice, I added them anyway free of charge. I later had to call the ambulance. She was allergic. FML

#5387856
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9680) - you deserved it (95249)

On 09/21/2009 at 2:06am - love - by FreeOfCharge (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was at work when two sheriff's deputies walked in. They asked me my name and when I told them, they asked me to turn around and they cuffed me. They told me I was under arrest for robbery. Turns out I was mistakenly IDed, but now every one at my job thinks I'm an armed robber. FML

#5385997
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32773) - you deserved it (1905)

On 09/21/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by THATguy (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I bought the girl I like a bouquet of roses saying "anonymous" on it, and left it on her front porch. She saw it, and called the guy she thought it was from. He said "you're welcome" and now they're going out. FML

#5385782
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23336) - you deserved it (40259)

On 09/21/2009 at 12:02am - love - by anonymouss (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house for the first time. I had to use the restroom, and when I came back, I mocked her brothers' lame Pokémon shower curtain and Ninja Turtle towels. Turns out they were hers. FML

#5383572
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7770) - you deserved it (56477)

On 09/20/2009 at 10:28pm - love - by newlydumped (man) - United States (Texas)



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