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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I called my wife to tell her I finally found a job after 6 months. A man answered the phone claiming to be the cable guy. We cut our cable off when I was laid off 6 months ago. FML

#6584948
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35498) - you deserved it (2194)

On 12/03/2009 at 3:13pm - love - by SatelliteUser (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I saw a girl walking to class by herself. I thought she was weird for not having any friends to walk with. Thats when I realized I was eating lunch by myself. In my car. FML

#6583766
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10180) - you deserved it (37828)

On 12/03/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned my wife wasn't speaking to me because our daughter told her I kissed another woman. My daughter neglected to mention that this happened when she came to work with me yesterday, and the kiss was between me and the dummy I use to teach my interns CPR. My wife doesn't believe me. FML

#6581083
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38317) - you deserved it (2485)

On 12/03/2009 at 6:34am - love - by fmldr (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I finished a 50 page term end thesis essay on the history of Russia. Looking over the final requirements once more, I find I made just a tiny little mistake. It was supposed to be a thesis on "Prussia". The paper's due tomorrow. FML

#6580357
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29170) - you deserved it (36533)

On 12/03/2009 at 4:08am - work - by WTFFAIL (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my friends were convinced that I was gay. I have known most of them for 3 plus years, they all thought my girlfriend was a special shopping partner. I found this out while announcing my engagement. FML

#6580015
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33025) - you deserved it (2920)

On 12/03/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I bought $300 worth of climbing equipment because I had lost mine six months ago, I hadn't gone to the climbing gym since I'd lost it. I went today because I was so excited to go climbing again. However, it turns out that I'd left my gear there, and it had been in the Lost and Found for the past six months. FML

Today, I would rather pound to porn than have sex with my wife, because trying to get her in the mood is too much hassle. FML

#6574517
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20380) - you deserved it (11153)

On 12/02/2009 at 9:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got my first acting part. I played the role of a bad boy who has to grab the leading lady's ass, who then slaps me in the face. The ass grab was done in one take. The slap required 14 takes. FML

#6570901
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38748) - you deserved it (4561)

On 12/02/2009 at 6:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my lawyer threatened to sue me because I can't afford his bill, which he sent to me after getting me out of a lawsuit. FML

#6569414
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11012) - you deserved it (32831)

On 12/02/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my very good friend ratted me out to my boss because I used the photocopier for personal use. He said he will always be my friend, but "rules are rules." FML

#6569085
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31046) - you deserved it (8328)

On 12/02/2009 at 3:20pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the bathroom and used the urinal. When I was done, I closed my zipper on my foreskin. FML

#6568411
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26377) - you deserved it (8090)

On 12/02/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by randm1 (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I looked outside with a grimace at the very heavy rainfall through which I had to trudge a long way. I waited ten minutes for it to let up, only to find it was getting heavier. So, I started walking anyway. After getting soaked to the bone, I walked through my door, and it stopped. FML

#6567940
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26081) - you deserved it (3143)

On 12/02/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by Furry (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, at work I was told I'd be working over Christmas because I don't drink. Apparently if you're tee-total, you're not entitled to spend time with your family and are incapable of having fun. FML

#6565832
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27670) - you deserved it (3468)

On 12/02/2009 at 8:27am - work - by ostler (man) - United Kingdom



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