Today, I got a phone call from a number I didn't recognize. It was a man with a speech impediment, and I began imitating him. He was the manager of a store I applied at. He wanted to arrange an interview. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8240) - you deserved it (155948)
On 05/24/2009 at 10:50am - work - by oopsie (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 year old skinny girl and I'm 17 year old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13279) - you deserved it (104297)
On 05/24/2009 at 5:49am - misc - by AyoitsSteveo (man) - United States (California)
Today, I saw my mom naked as she came out of the shower. I realized that's the first time I've ever seen a naked woman. I'm a 24 year old guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55869) - you deserved it (9422)
On 05/24/2009 at 1:18am - misc - by Imretarded (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I pulled up to a stoplight and blew past the car beside me to merge into one lane. About 30 seconds later, I ran out of gas right in front of them. We were on a bridge, and I had to push my car all the way across. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6665) - you deserved it (40964)
On 05/23/2009 at 10:17pm - misc - by DQB (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my girlfriend and I went down to the pier. I brought an empty bottle and some paper, and we both constructed a massive letter expressing our passionate love for each other. We stuck it in the bottle, and threw it out to sea, only to see it explode in slow motion on a protruding rock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36787) - you deserved it (9975)
On 05/23/2009 at 8:16pm - love - by CastAway (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was driving in my car with my daughter, who was eating a nutri-grain bar. After a while she holds out her hand saying, "It's on my finger! I don't wanna eat it!" I pick up the little piece of nutri-grain filling and put it in my mouth, only to realize it was a large booger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35938) - you deserved it (22205)
On 05/23/2009 at 2:10pm - kids - by nutrigrain123 (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42356) - you deserved it (8600)
On 05/23/2009 at 1:48pm - love - by jimbop (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42774) - you deserved it (16211)
On 05/23/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by Tootsy_Roll_Pop (man) - United States
Today, I went to my best friend's birthday party. After about 15 minutes, I noticed a girl, possibly one of his sisters friends, wearing the same shirt as me. I am a 23 year old bloke. She didn't look a day over 14. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28321) - you deserved it (8358)
On 05/23/2009 at 6:53am - misc - by bluewinter (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I went to a dollar store with a couple friends to buy cap guns to play with. We were having a lot of fun with them, and took them onto a bus. 5 minutes later, three cops got on, handcuffed us, and sternly talked to us about the dangers of guns. We got arrested for toy guns. We are 17. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14025) - you deserved it (40617)
On 05/23/2009 at 3:37am - misc - by arrestedgun (man) - Canada
Today, I was lining a soccer field. I had the entire grid laid out, so I began to paint with a handheld cart. I finished the entire field without looking back once. I forgot to put paint in the cart. I walked around a field for an hour painting with air. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10602) - you deserved it (45245)
On 05/23/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by onlyme (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I was putting on cream and my son asked what it was for. I told him it was to keep the wrinkles away. He looked at me closely and replied, "I don't think it's working." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36401) - you deserved it (4437)
On 05/23/2009 at 1:04am - kids - by julieb (man) - United States (New York)
Today, while driving across country, my car broke down while in the middle of nowhere. I had it towed to a mechanic in the nearest town. While he fixed the car, I went to get lunch. The only restaurant in town was an old-fashioned drive-up diner. They wouldn't serve me because I wasn't in a car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37643) - you deserved it (1586)
On 05/22/2009 at 7:25pm - misc - by stillhungry (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
