Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I learned that not only do wood ticks have a habit of dropping off of branches onto you as you walk under them, they also like to hang out in groups of five or six. FML

#21421750
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23592) - you deserved it (1740)

On 06/06/2015 at 12:19pm - animals - by seadrick (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML

#21421662
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27414) - you deserved it (8530)

On 06/06/2015 at 5:11am - misc - by lehonX9 (man) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today, I have food poisoning. My boss told me that if I didn't come into work, I'd be fired. Not 30 minutes after sitting down, I sneezed and shat my pants. My boss still won't let me leave. FML

#21421576
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28690) - you deserved it (1820)

On 06/06/2015 at 12:20am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, one of my two roommates moved out without warning after we discovered that the rent hadn't been paid in full in a month, the utility bill hadn't been paid in two months, and the electric bill hadn't been paid in three months. We found out when the power was turned off. FML

Today, I overheard my wife telling my mother-in-law I was diagnosed with a learning disability earlier this week. She replied, "I always knew he was a retard. Why did you ever marry that idiot?" All my wife did was mutter "I don't know." FML

#21420583
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27694) - you deserved it (1934)

On 06/04/2015 at 5:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Maldives (Maale)

Today, when leaving my apartment, I instantly noticed there was a giant dump truck in our lot, which turned out to be directly behind my car. After making a 20-point escape from my parking space and getting to work late, my roommate texts me "DUDE guess what I got last night". A giant dump truck. FML

#21420204
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24778) - you deserved it (1882)

On 06/03/2015 at 12:18pm - misc - by dump truck hater (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I made a nursing home resident laugh so hard that he had a heart attack. FML

#21420106
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30425) - you deserved it (2781)

On 06/03/2015 at 6:15am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I gave my girlfriend a hickey barely an inch from her vagina. She texted me later, saying her dad saw it and had grounded her. So yeah, I'm not sure I even want to know what the hell goes on in their house. FML

#21420087
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35661) - you deserved it (2540)

On 06/03/2015 at 3:22am - intimacy - by W T F (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I'm warning you: never spoon naked with your girlfriend after eating taco bell. The shartpocalypse just might begin in her ass and end on your stomach. FML

#21420039
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29404) - you deserved it (3952)

On 06/03/2015 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got woken up and kicked out of bed. Apparently if I cheat in her dreams it still counts. FML

#21419795
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29962) - you deserved it (2625)

On 06/02/2015 at 5:02pm - love - by Jrex89 (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I sneezed and ended up in the emergency room. How? Apparently the sneeze dislodged a kidney stone that is now slowly, painfully working its way from my kidney to my bladder so that I can piss it out. FML

Today, one of my tires blew out on the highway. I managed to slow down and pull over without dying, and went to get my spare tire. I found it right where it was supposed to be, knifed to hell and with a taunting note from my psycho ex taped to it. We broke up nearly 3 years ago. FML

#21419681
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28015) - you deserved it (2757)

On 06/02/2015 at 12:50pm - misc - by Milo (man) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, my class was called to the auditorium. We were told that some asshat proctor took a picture of our testing room during out test and posted it on Facebook. Someone noticed that according to the rules, we were sitting too close to each other, so now we have to retake the whole test. FML

#21419617
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27524) - you deserved it (1940)

On 06/02/2015 at 9:13am - misc - by Donewithit (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: