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Man or woman?

Today, at a mind-numbingly boring support session, everyone was talking about their hardships. One guy was talking about losing his leg in a car accident. I was half-asleep and asked without thinking, "Did you ever find it?" I almost shat my pants at the roomful of death glares that followed. FML

#21389976
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17611) - you deserved it (32953)

On 04/08/2015 at 12:08pm - misc - by S to the HIT (man) - United States (California)

Today, after pulling an all-nighter studying for an exam, I caught the bus to college. On the way there, the bus decided to make sweet love to a taxi, creating a pile-up and a traffic jam. I didn't make it to the exam in time. FML

#21389932
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28647) - you deserved it (1927)

On 04/08/2015 at 10:43am - misc - by rUs7up1d (man) - Guatemala (Guatemala)

Today, my morbidly obese mother gave me an angry lecture at dinner, saying without any trace of irony that my vegetarian diet is "unhealthy and utterly unacceptable". FML

#21388006
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31217) - you deserved it (3690)

On 04/05/2015 at 11:38am - misc - by tardspawn (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, my mom called 5 times and I didn't pick up due to being in class at college. I was later called to the front desk, where my mom was crying. She said she was worried about me because I didn't say "I love you" to her after she dropped me off at college. FML

#21387594
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32922) - you deserved it (4045)

On 04/04/2015 at 3:32pm - misc - by gooddaydude (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML

#21387543
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32006) - you deserved it (2505)

On 04/04/2015 at 1:32pm - health - by fuck right off (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, at work, I tripped and fell face-first into a food display. As I picked myself up, totally humiliated, I tripped again and fell right back into it, earning a bunch of pitying looks from nearby customers. FML

#21387468
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25703) - you deserved it (3392)

On 04/04/2015 at 10:35am - work - by Anonymous (man) - France (Bretagne)

Today, I visited my girlfriend's apartment for the first time. I guess she forgot to do some spring cleaning before I showed up, because I saw my laptop on her couch. The same laptop that was stolen from my house along with several other valuables last week. FML

#21387302
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35089) - you deserved it (2365)

On 04/04/2015 at 12:04am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, the last thing I remember before getting the shit beaten out of me at the bar, was my dipshit brother saying to me, "Dude, I'm not a racist, but" and then ranting about how non-whites should get out of America. FML

#21387285
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27480) - you deserved it (2769)

On 04/03/2015 at 11:29pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out I wasn't invited to the annual family reunion. The reason? Everyone thinks I'm "creepy" because I'm the only adult who will go out and play with the kids. FML

#21387157
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29199) - you deserved it (2132)

On 04/03/2015 at 7:00pm - misc - by big_bail (man) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my 5-year-old son how school went today. He sighed and said "Fuck off, dad." I thought kids only became such colossal douchebags in their teens. FML

#21387117
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30543) - you deserved it (6090)

On 04/03/2015 at 5:15pm - kids - by no, YOU raised him (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I explained to my sister that the reason she isn't getting job offers is probably because her résumé is in Comic Sans and contains TXT language and a lot of typos. She thanked me for my help by calling me a "clueless horse-fucker" and telling me to shut my mouth. FML

#21387066
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27151) - you deserved it (2015)

On 04/03/2015 at 2:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I wore a new shirt, but forgot to remove the price tag. It was kind of windy outside, so when I got outside, the tag hit me on the neck, I thought it was a giant insect attacking my neck. I started screaming like a little girl. I'm a 30 year old guy. FML

#21386588
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25193) - you deserved it (7741)

On 04/02/2015 at 3:58pm - misc - by Jordan (man) - Jordan (Al Balqa')

Today, I found out where my stolen car was. It was all the way in Maine. I live in Ohio and I got a $300 fine for illegal parking. FML

#21386559
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29054) - you deserved it (1933)

On 04/02/2015 at 2:47pm - money - by Bunsostriker (man) - United States (Michigan)



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