Today, there was an issue with the sewage system at work. It smelled like somebody took a turd, left it in the sun to marinate, threw up on it, then put in the air conditioning to fill the store with nauseating stink. I nearly threw up multiple times because we weren't allowed to leave early. FML

by Anonymous / 02/10/2016 at 11:57am / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, I was called a "Potato" for at least the 30th time by people online for living in Idaho. I've lived here my whole life, I have yet to see a potato farm. None of these people has even left the East Coast. FML

by ApparentlyaPotato / 02/10/2016 at 12:08am / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous

Today, the power in my village went out. This caused the back-up battery powered alarm to go off. Nobody in the house even knew our alarm worked, let alone how to make it stop. It's been going off for over an hour now. FML

by James / 02/08/2016 at 5:55pm / United Kingdom (Sheffield) /

Today, I saw my grandfather on the train, with his cock out. FML

by OhDearGodGrandad / 02/07/2016 at 12:59pm / United Kingdom (Redbridge) / Intimacy

Today, the only thing that kept me hard during sex with my wife was thinking about my own naked body. FML

by weirdoe / 02/07/2016 at 4:17am / Italy (Sicilia) / Intimacy

Today, while working third shift alone at a gas station, I had to deal with a crazy guy tripping balls and asking me if it was okay to bring a gun into the place. I don't get paid nearly enough for this. FML

by Anonymous / 02/07/2016 at 2:49am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I accidentally forwarded a link to a weird fart porn video to my chat group. They've been silent for 30 minutes now. FML

by Anonymous / 02/06/2016 at 12:55am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandma got drunk, tried to change the TV channel with my Xbox controller, and slurred at me to fuck off when I told her it wasn't the remote. She pulls this kind of crap way too often. FML

by sick of this shit / 02/06/2016 at 12:04am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I worked up the confidence to go to the mall alone for the first time since being confined to a wheelchair. It didn't even take 20 minutes before some teenager grabbed my wheelchair and tried to race me around, all while his friends watched and laughed. FML

by Anonymous / 02/05/2016 at 3:08pm / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, my parents called me to ask if I could drop my dog off to them on Sunday. They're having a Superbowl party and want to show her off to their guests. My dog is invited, but I'm not. FML

by uninvited / 02/04/2016 at 10:16am / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals

Today, Southwest officially called off the search for my lost baggage and asked me to file a claim for reimbursement. My bag had $2000 worth of dental instruments, which I won't get any compensation for since the airline doesn't take any liability for valuable items. FML

by InDebt / 02/03/2016 at 11:47pm / United States (West Virginia) / Transportation

Today, while I was taking a shit, a guy went into the next stall and narrated what he was doing in song. I'm still traumatized by his lyrics. FML

by Lord_Nick / 02/03/2016 at 10:13pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, after finding out that my professor likes to talk trash about, and constantly belittle, Muslims in every American History class he teaches, I submitted an essay about Muslim contributions to humanity. He held me back after class and asked why I gave him such filth. I'm a Muslim. FML

by Upset / 02/03/2016 at 1:14pm / United States (California) / Work