Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, I found my daughter's fanfiction account. I need a new pair of eyes, or brain bleach, or both. FML

#21481410
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25180) - you deserved it (5213)

On 10/18/2015 at 10:23am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I accidentally Googled "best types of incest" instead of "best types of incense" on the family computer. The parental controls went nuts. I'm now grounded, and my parents are convinced I need psychiatric help. FML

#21481043
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25856) - you deserved it (2580)

On 10/17/2015 at 9:17am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I finally found out why my new co-worker has been shooting me dirty looks, being rude to me, and generally trying to avoid me. It's because I have blonde hair and blue eyes, and she thinks people like me are Nazis. FML

#21481034
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26278) - you deserved it (1607)

On 10/17/2015 at 8:29am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to bail my son out of jail, because he's a pansy and wouldn't last a night in there. His crime: pissing through the open windows of passing cars after losing a bet with his friends. I feel like if he gave me grandkids, they'd be born with half a brain. FML

#21481024
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23606) - you deserved it (4041)

On 10/17/2015 at 7:41am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, four days after moving into my new house, I woke up to a guy yelling "Fuck you, Claire" followed by a brick smashing through my living room window. Now I know why Claire was so eager to finalize the sale. FML

#21480763
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25680) - you deserved it (1439)

On 10/16/2015 at 1:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, my grandpa passed away. The only emotion my dad showed was anger, because my grandpa owed my dad money. Now he wants to take it from my grandma, like he's some sort of mobster. FML

#21480751
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23750) - you deserved it (1411)

On 10/16/2015 at 12:40pm - misc - by failing (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She slapped me in the face, stormed out and won't answer my calls. What the hell? FML

#21480429
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27599) - you deserved it (2384)

On 10/15/2015 at 3:30pm - love - by what did I do? (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was dumped by my girlfriend because she wanted to be with a man who has an income and a stable career. We are seniors in college and I accepted a really good job offer which I start once I graduate, which she knows about. She dumped me for a drug dealer. FML

#21480268
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29228) - you deserved it (2040)

On 10/15/2015 at 12:43am - misc - by WTF (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had to grab a large kitchen knife from my son, after I heard him convince his friend to join him in cutting off his finger, so they could "be assassins like Ezio." FML

#21479950
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24985) - you deserved it (2861)

On 10/14/2015 at 10:29am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my best friend told me how his batshit insane girlfriend keeps questioning his sexuality and thinks we're screwing behind her back. He's so desperate for a relationship that he's decided to stop hanging out with me. Goodbye 7 years of friendship. FML

#21479008
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28136) - you deserved it (1653)

On 10/12/2015 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I'm no longer allowed to work the drive-thru at my job, because over the weekend, 3 dumbasses I go to school with came in and complained to my manager, saying I sounded a creepy pervert and that it scared them enough to take their business elsewhere. FML

#21478786
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24999) - you deserved it (1839)

On 10/11/2015 at 10:07pm - work - by why (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while looking through my son's browser history, I found a Google search for "stop looking in my history u nosey cunt". I swore last week that I don't invade his privacy, so I can't even punish him for the bad language without looking like a lying bastard. FML

#21478533
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12092) - you deserved it (41964)

On 10/11/2015 at 7:45am - kids - by Hank-T4 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while waiting in line to get my medication, a man who just got his prescription looked me up and down and said "Penis pills, right? Ya look like the type." Then he walked out as a couple of other guys in line started snickering. FML

#21478497
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21908) - you deserved it (1666)

On 10/11/2015 at 2:45am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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