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Man or woman?

Today, I went to a job interview. It was my last shot of getting a job before my savings run dry. It all went well until I was asked why I wanted to join the company. I got flustered and stuttered, "Because I um, I like money?" The guy gave me the most insincere "We'll be in touch." ever. FML

#21339665
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26150) - you deserved it (8061)

On 01/18/2015 at 4:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I ran out of cash. The nearest ATM to my house is over a half hour away by foot. After walking all the way there under the blistering heat of the sun, I realized I'd left my card back at home. FML

#21339623
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18446) - you deserved it (20279)

On 01/18/2015 at 2:44pm - money - by saqmuel093 (man) - Malaysia (Sarawak)

Today, I saw a little old lady trying to cross the street. I went over and tried to help her. Turned out she was actually just a really short young woman. As soon as I took her arm, she screamed in front of everyone and accused me of trying to molest her. FML

#21339220
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28569) - you deserved it (7748)

On 01/17/2015 at 10:45pm - misc - by Help Me (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I took my driving test. I was really nervous, but I thought I did pretty well in the end. That is until I parked the car and looked to the examiner. He was visibly shaken. He said I'd passed, quickly filled in the paperwork and left. On the downside, my car still smells of his shart. FML

#21339037
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31320) - you deserved it (3405)

On 01/17/2015 at 5:24pm - misc - by for shite's sake (man) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)

Today, my girlfriend asked me not to love her so much, so she doesn't have to try so hard to match my love for her. What the fuck? FML

#21338940
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27577) - you deserved it (8541)

On 01/17/2015 at 2:00pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my wife wanted me to take her to a new restaurant in town. When I looked it up and saw their prices, I almost had a heart attack. When I said it was too expensive, she snapped "Maybe you'd like to look up 'Lorena Bobbitt' next?!" We went to the restaurant. FML

#21338935
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28468) - you deserved it (5746)

On 01/17/2015 at 1:49pm - love - by wounded pride, intact cock (man) - United States

Today, at a ski resort, I tried to impress an attractive girl on the slopes and failed, horribly. I ended up with a mild concussion and some serious cuts after tripping, tumbling and hitting my head against the ground. I don't think she was impressed. FML

#21338794
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21611) - you deserved it (9399)

On 01/17/2015 at 8:54am - health - by badluck_jean (man) - France

Today, I realized that while I've been the same minuscule height for the past five years, my feet won't stop growing. I'm 5 foot and a size 12. I look like a clown. FML

#21338417
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28467) - you deserved it (5763)

On 01/16/2015 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, like every day, I woke up at 3 in the morning because my roommate needs "a three hour warning" before his real alarm goes off. His alarm is a constant beeping noise which he always ignores for a good 10 minutes before finally getting up and turning it off. FML

#21338310
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28709) - you deserved it (2579)

On 01/16/2015 at 1:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, a pretty girl joined the line at the bus station. I let her skip the line and go before me so I could sit next to her. After she bought her ticket, I realized there were no more seats left on that bus. I was told to get off, and had to take the next bus, sitting next to a snoring old man. FML

#21338193
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26068) - you deserved it (11243)

On 01/16/2015 at 10:41am - love - by Marfo101 (man) - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, I learned that when a man in the row in front of you at a movie theater tells you to shut up, you shouldn't tell him to fuck off. He might be 6'4 with a short temper. FML

#21337906
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13865) - you deserved it (44528)

On 01/15/2015 at 10:15pm - misc - by whoops.. (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boss told me that as funny as it is, it is inappropriate to mock customers with my "fake" Scottish accent. I don't, he refuses to believe that I speak with a Scottish accent. FML

Today, my parents grounded me because I refused to do my little sister's homework for her. FML

#21337837
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34842) - you deserved it (2090)

On 01/15/2015 at 8:21pm - misc - by MovingOut (man) - Saint Vincent and the Grenadines



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