Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, me and some friends had home-made burgers for lunch. The guy who did the cooking later insisted that spitting in a frying pan is a perfectly acceptable way of guessing the right time to add the oil. FML

#21009569
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35027) - you deserved it (3031)

On 12/29/2013 at 6:28pm - health - by HungerStrike (man) - Czech Republic (Stredocesky kraj)

Today, I was verbally abused by a tourist because neither I nor anyone else in my country can speak "proper English". We're in England - clue's in the name, dipshit. FML

#21009563
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37374) - you deserved it (3443)

On 12/29/2013 at 6:23pm - misc - by Kayak (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I took my girlfriend to see "Frozen," which she had been talking about for weeks. After I bought the snacks, she told me that she couldn't believe I was going to watch a princess movie and walked out on me for not being "manly." She took the popcorn with her. FML

#21009271
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46484) - you deserved it (3621)

On 12/29/2013 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my strict Christian mother walked into my room just after I'd finished masturbating. Although dressed, I was still holding the used tissue, which she noticed. Having to think fast to disguise my deed and avoid an entire sermon, I had no option but to blow my nose with the spunky tissue. FML

#21009159
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43870) - you deserved it (22115)

On 12/29/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by Jizzyface (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my girlfriend informed me that our relationship is an open one. This was only after I was told that when she was "stuck in traffic" two days ago, she was actually playing the triple-X version of Twister in my "best friend's" bed. FML

#21008373
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37452) - you deserved it (2390)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:07pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I took a girl on a date. Her and her imaginary friends. FML

#21008014
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39362) - you deserved it (4450)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:42am - love - by rokkstarrrVRV (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after being married for 20 years, I found out that my wife has accounts on multiple dating sites, "just in case." FML

#21007851
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38159) - you deserved it (2903)

On 12/28/2013 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to a party organised by my ex. I was the last to sit down, after looking at the nametags on all 50+ chairs. That's how I realised the chair labelled "Fuckface" was mine; the one located between her parents' seats. FML

#21006556
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35962) - you deserved it (8271) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/26/2013 at 6:50pm - misc - by Puick (man) - France (Centre)

Today, I took my girlfriend to a local drag racing spot to get her more involved with my friends. Her ex showed up and wanted to race me. I won the race, but blew my engine. I had to use his dad's towing service to get my car home. FML

#21004910
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36429) - you deserved it (12078)

On 12/25/2013 at 1:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I received a pair of earrings, a necklace, and some rings as a Christmas gift from my grandma. This would have been nice if I weren't a guy. This is her way of mocking me for wearing what she calls "girl colors", such as white. FML

#21004875
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35965) - you deserved it (2769)

On 12/25/2013 at 12:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "we don't communicate enough". She got her friend to tell me this for her. FML

#21002970
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37479) - you deserved it (2802)

On 12/23/2013 at 9:48pm - love - by .... (man) - United States (California)

Today, I diagnosed a patient with a spastic colon. For some reason, the term "spastic colon" has always amused me, and I burst into uncontrollable laughter as I said it. By the time I managed to stop laughing, my eyes were watering and my patient was visibly angry. FML

#21002747
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20080) - you deserved it (41789)

On 12/23/2013 at 6:11pm - work - by dr immature (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my manager rejected my leave application for Christmas. Later I found out that I'm going to be the only employee working at the office during Christmas. FML

#21002397
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40843) - you deserved it (2781)

On 12/23/2013 at 12:35pm - work - by homerr123 (man) - India (Maharashtra)



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