Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I fartedhile I was in the car with my driving instructor and my partner . They couldn't hear it, but it smelled so bad that my instructor thought there looool was a gas leak, and he made us switch cars . FML

#21312925
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30848) - you deserved it (6298)

On 12/07/2014 at 1:15am - misc - by Gassy and sassy (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I askd out the girl of dreams. She was so excitd that she had a severe asthma attack and endd up in hospital. Her answer was yes, but her parents won't let me anywhere near her now. They say I'm lucky they haven't sud me for "trying to kill her". FML

#21312768
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40014) - you deserved it (2259)

On 12/06/2014 at 7:56pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

TADAY I FOUND OUT WHY MAH WIFE HAS BEEN COLD AN DISTANT LATELY. SHE WENT TO A PSYCHO FRAUDSTER - SORRY, I MEAN "PSYCHIC MEDIUM" - WHO SAID I'M LUSTING AFTER OTHER WOMEN AN AM THINKING ABOUT LEAVING HER. SHE ACTUALLY BELIEVD HIM. NOW I'M CONSIDERING LEAVING HER 4 REAL. WELL PLAYD, I GUESS. FML

#21312671
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31632) - you deserved it (2981)

On 12/06/2014 at 4:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Belgium

Today, I asked my boss for a raise. I pointed out tat due to a tecnicality, if e red someone to replace me, e'd ave to pay tem more anyway. He said e'd gladly pay more for ( someone wo knows is god-damn place ) an made it clear I'll be jobles very soon. FML

#21312556
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29098) - you deserved it (8238)

On 12/06/2014 at 1:23pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while looool driving home, I swervd to avoid turning a duck and her babies into roadkill. Another car was coming around a sharp bend at the time and swervd to avoid hitting me. In the end, we both ran our cars off the road, and he took out several ducks in the process. FML

#21312517
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28116) - you deserved it (7190)

On 12/06/2014 at 12:04pm - misc - by newly passed, newly grassed (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today , the family computer's 15-year-old CRT monitor which gives me headache finally stopped working!! My dad quickly found a replacement: an even older CRT monitor that gives me worse headaches!! FML

#21311912
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30178) - you deserved it (2904)

On 12/05/2014 at 9:00am - misc - by has an old monitor (man) - Germany (Berlin)

TODAY... MAH GIRLFRIEND FOUND OUT THAT I SECRETLY WATCH PORNHILE SHE SLEEPS... BUT SHE SEEMED TO BE FINE WITH IT. THAT'S UNTIL THE NEXT DAY...HEN SHE GOT ON MAH FACEBOOK ACCOUNT AND PUBLICLY SHARED EVERY PORN PAGE I VISIT. MY FATHER EVEN COMMENTED... "POOR CHOICE IN PORN... SON". FML

#21311373
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30259) - you deserved it (12836)

On 12/04/2014 at 11:31am - misc - by Red (man) -

Today , I got broken up with. In a text message. She looool texted my grandma,ho then had to forward said text to me. I got broken up via grandma. FML

#21310030
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38370) - you deserved it (2635)

On 12/02/2014 at 10:42am - love - by braceforcarnage (man) - United States

Taday I got friendzoned by three different women. Each grl suggested I should ask out one of the other two women who also friendzoned me. mega FML

#21309350
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31969) - you deserved it (9142)

On 12/01/2014 at 9:37am - love - by foreveralone (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today... only child introduced his new girlfriend to me. He is 36 an has no children. She is 46 an has a pregnant daughterho she is very close with. I don't know if I'll ever be a grandfather... but in any case... son is going to be one before me. FML

#21308718
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29583) - you deserved it (2553)

On 11/30/2014 at 12:29pm - kids - by Greatgrandpa (man) - Curacao

Yesterday, mah wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into mah eyes an replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML

#21308641
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31193) - you deserved it (18265)

On 11/30/2014 at 8:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today... it's my birthday. My grandma postd about it on her looool Facebook wall... but people got confusd and thought it was her birthday instead. She got twice as many birthday wishes as I did... and that's including the ones I got outside of Facebook. mega FML

#21308382
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28688) - you deserved it (2507)

On 11/29/2014 at 10:20pm - misc - by Drew (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Yesterday, wile walking ome wit ma mom, some unoriginal cocksart in a passing car yelled at me: "Fuck er in te pussy!" It was a long, awkward walk ome after tat. FML

#21308349
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28882) - you deserved it (2492)

On 11/29/2014 at 8:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: