Today, I went to use the restroom. I looked down at the toilet, and saw blood smeared all over the seat, as well as several dirty tampons in the floor. I confronted my girlfriend about the mess, only for her to reply with, "Well, what'd you expect? You live with a woman now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38045) - you deserved it (3237)
On 02/26/2013 at 1:29am - health - by GrossedOut (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I got stuck in traffic when a shootout started somewhere behind. I lowered myself and suddenly a bullet punctured a hole in the rear screen. When I managed to get away, I called my wife in a panic. She didn't pick up so I sent her a text about what just happened. Her reply: "K". FML
I agree, your life sucks (41804) - you deserved it (2385)
On 02/25/2013 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by n3ov (man) - Pakistan (Islamabad)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she could not stand the thought of being in a relationship with a man who wears orange. This is the first time I've worn an orange shirt in at least 6 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25904) - you deserved it (2096)
Today, while I was shaving my nether regions, my trimmer slipped and ate a chunk out of my balls, right beside a vein. I've been bleeding on and off for an hour, and the New Skin I tried isn't able to dry quickly enough. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26656) - you deserved it (4992)
On 02/24/2013 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, two days before I'm due to fly out to Russia on my first vacation, I caught my extremely over-protective mother trying to force the family dog to eat my passport. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25484) - you deserved it (1581)
On 02/23/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Latvia (Aluksnes)
Today, after supporting my girlfriend for over a year in her endeavour to lose weight, exercise more, and eat better, my now-slender girlfriend dumped me. Because now she can do "so much better". FML
I agree, your life sucks (38186) - you deserved it (2696)
On 02/23/2013 at 3:07am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I took my driver's test. I did everything flawlessly, but my examiner kept all but pissing his pants throughout. He yelled, "ARE YOU TRYING TO GET US KILLED?!" when I drove past a traffic light just as it was about to turn red. The road was almost empty. He failed me on the spot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9527) - you deserved it (35472)
On 02/22/2013 at 8:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia
Today, after nearly six weeks of seeing a nice girl, we finally decided to make it official. Two hours later, she pulled out a bridal magazine and not-so-casually asked me which wedding location I thought was the nicest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23825) - you deserved it (2443)
On 02/22/2013 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)
Today, I stole a pen from the doctor's office while she wasn't looking. Later on at work, I idly pulled the pen out during a meeting. My colleague looked at me, horrified. The pen had the words "minimally invasive gynecological surgery" emblazoned on it. I'm a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4974) - you deserved it (32855)
On 02/21/2013 at 9:56pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I realized my acne is so bad that the Facebook face recognition could recognize all of my friends in a group photo except me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22027) - you deserved it (2340)
On 02/21/2013 at 8:04am - misc - by SadFace (man) - Singapore
Today, I discovered that when you suddenly get channels that you didn't have before, it doesn't mean there was a glitch and you're getting free TV, it just means that your son called the cable company and had your plan changed so you get every conceivable channel at a hugely increased price. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25749) - you deserved it (3244)
On 02/20/2013 at 5:55pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, at work I got in an elevator to go upstairs. It wasn't until the doors opened minutes later and people stepped in that I realized I had zoned out and forgot to press the button for the floor I needed. I then promptly exited the elevator and waited for the next elevator to go up in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6685) - you deserved it (14962)
On 02/19/2013 at 5:03pm - work - by CaBur (man) - United States (California)
Today, for the second time this week, I was asked to stop putting on such an obviously fake "British" accent. I am British and have lived here all my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27251) - you deserved it (1855)
On 02/19/2013 at 1:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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