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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I had to convince my nine year-old brother to stop using my biology textbook as a masturbatory aid so I could actually get some studying done. FML

#21488529
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22799) - you deserved it (1743)

On 11/04/2015 at 8:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if you mix beer, an axe, shotgun shells and bad judgment, you get a rather expensive hospital stay. FML

Today, I found out that aside from being savagely overworked and treated like shit for zero pay, another one of my responsibilities as an intern is to take the blame for my boss accidentally posting a link to a porn site on the company's Twitter account. FML

#21487876
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24195) - you deserved it (1634)

On 11/03/2015 at 12:54pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, at work, my coworker's belongings went missing. Infuriated, she accused me of stealing, because I'm black and "stereotypes don't just make themselves." FML

#21487717
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29247) - you deserved it (2356)

On 11/03/2015 at 1:58am - work - by Quicky5_ (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, a tailgating idiot rear-ended me at a red light, then had the balls to say it was my fault for "driving too close" to his car. FML

#21486416
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23326) - you deserved it (1333)

On 10/31/2015 at 6:20am - misc - by fuck off you fucking shitburglar (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She got incredibly excited and started flapping her hands around. Then she suddenly went deadpan and said "But seriously... no." FML

#21486387
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26198) - you deserved it (1747)

On 10/31/2015 at 3:19am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I finally got a promotion at work. Today I also found out that no matter how long I work, no matter how much effort and unpaid overtime I put in for 6 years, my coworkers will be convinced I only got promoted because I'm the CFO's son. FML

#21486358
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22662) - you deserved it (2459)

On 10/31/2015 at 1:10am - work - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I finally stood up to the guy who's been bullying me for the last 2 years. Even though he's been caught in the act several times, he never gets punished, so I figured I'd get away with gut-punching him. Nope. An hour later, I was suspended from school. FML

#21486241
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26021) - you deserved it (2419)

On 10/30/2015 at 6:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was invited to my friend's wedding. I wouldn't mind, but she chose her now fiancé over me, despite him being in prison for assault, a heroin addict and a general dick. This was all because I accidentally called her stupid three years ago. FML

#21486098
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22018) - you deserved it (3438)

On 10/30/2015 at 9:27am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (East Lothian)

Today, my roommate broke into my spice cabinet so he could get high off of my nutmeg. FML

#21485980
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21445) - you deserved it (1715)

On 10/29/2015 at 9:34pm - misc - by GonnaLockUpMySpices (man) - United States (California)

Today, my brother got his very first paycheck and blew it all on weed and a godawful tattoo, whereas I have been saving steadily for three years. Yet according to mum and dad, I'm the one who is irresponsible with money, because if I was being responsible I'd have enough for my own house by now. FML

#21485888
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23635) - you deserved it (1502)

On 10/29/2015 at 4:53pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was coming home from work and saw an old couple overwhelmed by the number of people at the train station. It was peak hour and I decided to help them. As I went up to them, they said, "Get away, go mug someone else". FML

#21485487
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19697) - you deserved it (1556)

On 10/28/2015 at 3:29pm - misc - by qwerki4 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was supposed to start my vacation in Italy. I guess not everyone heard that I canceled it due to health problems, because this morning I caught two of my "friends" unplugging my TV after breaking into my house. FML

#21485404
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27304) - you deserved it (1631)

On 10/28/2015 at 11:28am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

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  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

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