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Man or woman?

Today, after months of Tinder-ing, first dates and being rejected, I finally was able to hook up with a girl. We met, we kissed, we danced and I took her back to my place. She then promptly tried to make out with my roommate. FML

#21490060
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23444) - you deserved it (2959)

On 11/08/2015 at 7:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands

Today, I was talking to a friend and bemoaning the fact that my new coworkers keep mixing up my gender. She looked at me critically and said, "Yeah, until you can grow a decent beard, people are going to keep thinking you're an intern or a butch lesbian." FML

#21489909
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20100) - you deserved it (2090)

On 11/08/2015 at 12:14pm - work - by Eternal_Babyface (man) - United States

Today, the only way I could get my boyfriend to come over for a serious discussion was to heavily imply I wanted to talk about having a threesome. In actual fact, I just wanted to break up with him face-to-face, because he barely acknowledges my existence unless he's horny. FML

#21489787
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25539) - you deserved it (2457)

On 11/08/2015 at 12:28am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I realised how damn creepy I am because I get nervous and smile when someone looks at me, and no it's not one of those smiles you'd love looking at, it's a smile straight out of a horror movie. I made a bunch of children run away. FML

#21489520
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21105) - you deserved it (2528)

On 11/07/2015 at 9:33am - misc - by Hipnog (man) - Czech Republic

Today, while walking to work with my best friend, he broke down in tears. I asked what was wrong, and he told me his mom passed away last night. All I could think to do was give him a hug and say I was sorry. Then some assclown walking past said "GAAAYYY!" and walked away laughing hysterically. FML

#21489505
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27309) - you deserved it (1548)

On 11/07/2015 at 8:02am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I hit it off with a girl at a club and I brought her back to my place. I was sure I was finally going to score, until my useless cat attacked her as we walked upstairs. She fell down the stairs and dislocated her ankle. Just my luck. FML

#21489469
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24261) - you deserved it (4675)

On 11/07/2015 at 2:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML

#21489395
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23051) - you deserved it (2966)

On 11/06/2015 at 9:55pm - kids - by Nuts (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a dream where I was giving Justin Bieber a blowjob. I'm a totally straight male. I have half a mind to bill the little bastard for therapy sessions. FML

#21489306
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22134) - you deserved it (5545)

On 11/06/2015 at 5:39pm - misc - by honk honk, fuckwad (man) - United States (California)

Today, the only reason I have toilet paper is because someone decided to teepee my driveway and left an entire roll behind. FML

#21488841
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18489) - you deserved it (1900)

On 11/05/2015 at 4:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to convince my nine year-old brother to stop using my biology textbook as a masturbatory aid so I could actually get some studying done. FML

#21488529
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22796) - you deserved it (1743)

On 11/04/2015 at 8:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if you mix beer, an axe, shotgun shells and bad judgment, you get a rather expensive hospital stay. FML

Today, I found out that aside from being savagely overworked and treated like shit for zero pay, another one of my responsibilities as an intern is to take the blame for my boss accidentally posting a link to a porn site on the company's Twitter account. FML

#21487876
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24193) - you deserved it (1634)

On 11/03/2015 at 12:54pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, at work, my coworker's belongings went missing. Infuriated, she accused me of stealing, because I'm black and "stereotypes don't just make themselves." FML

#21487717
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29243) - you deserved it (2356)

On 11/03/2015 at 1:58am - work - by Quicky5_ (man) - United States (Alabama)



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