Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, what started with me forcing a shit a little too hard ended up with me being rushed to the hospital with appendicitis. FML

#21392323
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28402) - you deserved it (2465)

On 04/12/2015 at 11:42am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Belgium

Today, for the first time in my life, a girl showed interest in me. She sent me a text message saying she wanted to come over and fuck my brains out. This would've made me the happiest guy alive, if only she weren't my extremely drunk sister. FML

#21391907
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33630) - you deserved it (2627)

On 04/11/2015 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got grounded because my mom found a condom in the bathroom trashcan and assumed it was mine. I took the blame because I was too embarrassed to admit that it must have belonged to my 13-year-old brother, since I'm still a virgin at 19. FML

#21391452
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30383) - you deserved it (4666)

On 04/10/2015 at 7:16pm - misc - by uglybrother (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, a guy tried to carjack me. Good news: I drive a stick shift, and the idiot apparently couldn't, so I still have my car. Bad news: he was so angry, he beat the shit out of me. I had to get stitches, and now I look like I went on a date with Chris Brown. FML

#21391293
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32737) - you deserved it (2402)

On 04/10/2015 at 2:04pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was driving and someone was following me across the city and wouldn't let up, so I drove past my house, thinking it was a stalker. Eventually I lost them on the highway. It wasn't until I'd gotten back home that I remembered that my 'stalker' was a coworker I'd invited over for lunch. FML

#21390746
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14750) - you deserved it (37585)

On 04/09/2015 at 4:11pm - work - by Distracted (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, after locking myself out of my house, I let myself into my car to wait on someone with a spare key. It took me 15 minutes to realise the house and car key share the same ring. FML

#21390076
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19106) - you deserved it (15460)

On 04/08/2015 at 3:36pm - misc - by losing the plot (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, at a mind-numbingly boring support session, everyone was talking about their hardships. One guy was talking about losing his leg in a car accident. I was half-asleep and asked without thinking, "Did you ever find it?" I almost shat my pants at the roomful of death glares that followed. FML

#21389976
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17331) - you deserved it (32380)

On 04/08/2015 at 12:08pm - misc - by S to the HIT (man) - United States (California)

Today, after pulling an all-nighter studying for an exam, I caught the bus to college. On the way there, the bus decided to make sweet love to a taxi, creating a pile-up and a traffic jam. I didn't make it to the exam in time. FML

#21389932
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28632) - you deserved it (1924)

On 04/08/2015 at 10:43am - misc - by rUs7up1d (man) - Guatemala (Guatemala)

Today, my morbidly obese mother gave me an angry lecture at dinner, saying without any trace of irony that my vegetarian diet is "unhealthy and utterly unacceptable". FML

#21388006
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30098) - you deserved it (3322)

On 04/05/2015 at 11:38am - misc - by tardspawn (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, my mom called 5 times and I didn't pick up due to being in class at college. I was later called to the front desk, where my mom was crying. She said she was worried about me because I didn't say "I love you" to her after she dropped me off at college. FML

#21387594
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32531) - you deserved it (3983)

On 04/04/2015 at 3:32pm - misc - by gooddaydude (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML

#21387543
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31990) - you deserved it (2504)

On 04/04/2015 at 1:32pm - health - by fuck right off (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, at work, I tripped and fell face-first into a food display. As I picked myself up, totally humiliated, I tripped again and fell right back into it, earning a bunch of pitying looks from nearby customers. FML

#21387468
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25688) - you deserved it (3389)

On 04/04/2015 at 10:35am - work - by Anonymous (man) - France (Bretagne)

Today, I visited my girlfriend's apartment for the first time. I guess she forgot to do some spring cleaning before I showed up, because I saw my laptop on her couch. The same laptop that was stolen from my house along with several other valuables last week. FML

#21387302
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35068) - you deserved it (2363)

On 04/04/2015 at 12:04am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: