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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was going to the bathroom at work. When I stood up, I noticed a little button on the side. I pressed it and the toilet flushed. I've worked there for nine months and just found out today that our toilets don't flush automatically. FML

#21177356
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24177) - you deserved it (42587)

On 06/16/2014 at 10:45pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had a job interview. It went really well until I couldn't figure out how to open the slide door to get out of the room. FML

#21177054
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38083) - you deserved it (5539)

On 06/16/2014 at 6:49pm - work - by UnhappilyUnemployed (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my daughter told me that she liked her "other daddy" better. I don't know who's she talking about, but my wife is doing a good job telling her to be quiet. FML

#21177000
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56392) - you deserved it (3943)

On 06/16/2014 at 5:38pm - kids - by FirstDaddy (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, the girl who broke up with me and disappeared 6 years ago wished me a happy Father's Day. FML

#21176638
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50872) - you deserved it (5798)

On 06/16/2014 at 11:30am - misc - by IneedMaury (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, in a last ditch attempt to get away from my psycho coworker, I made my boss transfer me to another branch in the district. My coworker was immediately moved to that branch, because we "work well together". FML

#21176055
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45719) - you deserved it (4311)

On 06/15/2014 at 10:21pm - work - by Godhelpme (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML

#21175587
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57181) - you deserved it (5283)

On 06/15/2014 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was confiding in my dad over the phone, after I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. After I hung up and went online, I noticed he'd been live-blogging the whole call on Facebook and commenting that he was considering suicide to escape the boredom. FML

#21173916
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46904) - you deserved it (4464)

On 06/13/2014 at 11:56pm - misc - by -_- (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my 8-year-old son microwaved his pet hamster. FML

#21173596
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53053) - you deserved it (8954)

On 06/13/2014 at 6:53pm - animals - by sunil (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at my mother's open-casket funeral, my sister-in-law went to pay her respects. As she stood in front of the body, she coughed, muttering "bitch" in the process. Either nobody else noticed or nobody cared, and she went on her way, noticeably not choked up at all. FML

#21173556
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40228) - you deserved it (3893)

On 06/13/2014 at 6:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML

#21173465
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41768) - you deserved it (5304)

On 06/13/2014 at 4:17pm - health - by green and not with envy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I confronted my girlfriend over how she and a male friend have been going out together, drinking and partying, and at one point holding hands in the street. She angrily accused ME of cheating, because "confronting people like that" is apparently something only cheaters themselves do. FML

#21173408
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45259) - you deserved it (4504)

On 06/13/2014 at 3:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, my psycho neighbor finished building a cannon. An honest-to-god, on-wheels, could-be-on-a-pirate-ship cannon. And now he's testing it in the forest by my house. I'm pretty scared for my life, to be honest. FML

#21171119
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40135) - you deserved it (4274)

On 06/11/2014 at 4:36pm - misc - by ldrik1 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I bought some crickets as a treat for my lizard. One escaped and somehow got into the heating system in my room. The chirping is amplified and comes from everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Goodbye, restful sleep. FML

#21170183
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42510) - you deserved it (9065)

On 06/10/2014 at 10:07pm - animals - by Sleepdeprived (man) - United States (Maine)



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Thursday 11 September 2014

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