Today, I went out to Applebees with a girl I like and a group of friends. Someone asked if the girl and I were dating. She instantly replied with a bit of disgust "What? No way, never!" It would have been nice to know before paying for the last ten or so dates we went on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32872) - you deserved it (3484)
On 03/20/2013 at 1:38pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I realized that the smell of chlorine has started to turn me on, probably because my girlfriend has an indoor pool in her house. Guess who works as a swim instructor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30828) - you deserved it (3329)
On 03/20/2013 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, for the sixth time in a row, I was driving my kid to school and he made me late for work. Why? He was whacking off instead of getting ready. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33564) - you deserved it (3677)
On 03/20/2013 at 7:07am - intimacy - by Why son, why? (man) - United States
Today, my girlfriend left me because our "political views don't match" when I told her we needed to share house chores now that we live together. I know, I'm lost too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25302) - you deserved it (1619)
On 03/19/2013 at 10:08pm - love - by dca101 (man) - United States
Today, I got laid off. Walking out of the building, I saw someone on crutches and thought, "Hey, at least I can still walk." Two hours later, I blew out my knee playing basketball. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26470) - you deserved it (5162)
On 03/19/2013 at 9:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37548) - you deserved it (14828)
On 03/19/2013 at 8:31am - intimacy - by fredo (man) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I woke up with a giant red rash all over my face, so puffed up that I could hardly open my eyes. The doctor said it was probably from some of the compounds found in most makeup. I'm just getting into theatre and have auditions coming up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25048) - you deserved it (2451)
On 03/18/2013 at 2:42pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, after six months of writing a 40 page paper criticizing a famous method, I found out the professor who conceived it has transferred to my favorite college to head the department I'm applying to study in. They require I submit the paper with my application. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27234) - you deserved it (4006)
Today, while serving two middle-aged women at the coffee shop, I was screamed at and accused of being a "sexist and chauvinistic bastard." This was prompted by me charging one of them 40 cents for the addition of steamed milk, which is clearly stated on the price sheet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24019) - you deserved it (1384)
On 03/17/2013 at 3:00pm - work - by innocentbarista (man) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend decided we are to the point in our relationship that it's considered acceptable to take a dump while I'm in there showering. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26078) - you deserved it (5141)
On 03/17/2013 at 1:05am - love - by jisaac09 (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I asked a traffic cop if it was okay to park my car briefly in a Monday to Friday only parking spot, since it's Saturday. She politely replied I could. I came back less than ten minutes later, only to find a parking ticket stuck to my windshield. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27588) - you deserved it (11241)
On 03/16/2013 at 4:04pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I have the flu. I had to wash the dishes, cook dinner, take out the trash, and take care of the laundry, all while my wife sat around watching TV, because she was "too tired". I work 8 hours a day. She's a college student. She doesn't see what's so unfair about this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31334) - you deserved it (5685)
On 03/16/2013 at 2:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, at college, I finally talked myself into confessing my feelings to a girl I really like. Her response was to threaten to sue me. For what, exactly? I have no goddamned idea. I just don't understand people anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26647) - you deserved it (1920)
On 03/15/2013 at 6:43pm - love - by forever single, I guess (man) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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