Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I confronted my boss for his inadequate contribution in our work. He accepted his inadequacy and apologized for not doing enough. He now expects me to work on everything singlehandedly since he has already clarified his inadequacy. FML

#21424550
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20858) - you deserved it (3893)

On 06/11/2015 at 3:50pm - work - by varunet2004 (man) - India

Today, the main file and backups of the book I've been writing for 2 and a half years mysteriously vanished. It turned out my mum decided that me spending so much time in my room must mean I'm watching porn, and so she trashed everything. FML

#21424410
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29887) - you deserved it (2247)

On 06/11/2015 at 10:37am - misc - by 4lphab3t4 (man) - United Kingdom (Harrow)

Today, my neighbor came over to borrow my lawnmower. As I have previously loaned it to him and he returned it broken, I refused. He then promptly ate the strawberries off my daughter's small strawberry plant and stormed off. FML

#21424116
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26277) - you deserved it (1813)

On 06/10/2015 at 8:13pm - misc - by its still broken (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, our mouse problem finally started to go away. Now we have a snake problem. FML

#21423927
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23454) - you deserved it (1939)

On 06/10/2015 at 1:55pm - misc - by Eisenhorn (man) - United States

Today, my apparently insane and now ex-girlfriend actually claimed she didn't technically cheat on me, because she set her Facebook relationship to "single" before screwing my brother. FML

#21423879
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31773) - you deserved it (2230)

On 06/10/2015 at 11:28am - intimacy - by waiting till marriage, she said (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I received a package from Amazon. My mum smiled at me when I entered the living room, pointing to my package. She had already opened it and held back her smile. My penis pills for longer endurance just got delivered. FML

#21422808
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28482) - you deserved it (8865)

On 06/08/2015 at 12:00pm - intimacy - by Wrabel (man) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, I am going to take a law school test. My Mom told me to relax, so I told her, "I'm better at stressing out, so I have something to fall back on if I bomb the test." To which she replied, "And masturbating, you've always excelled at that." FML

#21422751
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24540) - you deserved it (4155)

On 06/08/2015 at 9:35am - intimacy - by LZapped (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had my first driving lesson. I learned how to be stopped by a cop, who told me what a horrible driver I was. FML

#21422346
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21326) - you deserved it (3350)

On 06/07/2015 at 2:23pm - misc - by unhappy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I tried talking to my wife about our sexless marriage. Her only response was to toss me a sock and say "Knock yourself out, fuckstick." FML

#21422165
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28679) - you deserved it (3184)

On 06/07/2015 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that not only do wood ticks have a habit of dropping off of branches onto you as you walk under them, they also like to hang out in groups of five or six. FML

#21421750
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24404) - you deserved it (1941)

On 06/06/2015 at 12:19pm - animals - by seadrick (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML

#21421662
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27507) - you deserved it (8553)

On 06/06/2015 at 5:11am - misc - by lehonX9 (man) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today, I have food poisoning. My boss told me that if I didn't come into work, I'd be fired. Not 30 minutes after sitting down, I sneezed and shat my pants. My boss still won't let me leave. FML

#21421576
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29496) - you deserved it (2003)

On 06/06/2015 at 12:20am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, one of my two roommates moved out without warning after we discovered that the rent hadn't been paid in full in a month, the utility bill hadn't been paid in two months, and the electric bill hadn't been paid in three months. We found out when the power was turned off. FML



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: