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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was taking a leisurely stroll through the woods in the nice cool weather, when a mountain biker came out of nowhere and tore past, barely missing me. As I counted my luck, another biker followed the first and crashed right into me. FML

#21045309
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36812) - you deserved it (3843)

On 01/30/2014 at 3:55pm - health - by ramble ramble (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mother-in-law called me every 2 hours, starting at 8pm and stopping at 10am the following morning. She says that since my wife and I are expecting our first child, I should "get used to waking up at all hours." She calls my work phone, which I'm not allowed to switch off. FML

Today, my boss let me know that I'm being laid off, via a text message that ended in "lmao". FML

#21043231
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44118) - you deserved it (3251)

On 01/28/2014 at 5:36pm - work - by soon to be unemployed (man) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I moved back into my dorm. My ex-girlfriend, and the guy she left me for, now cohabit next door. Now I get to hear them screwing while I try to do my homework. FML

#21043113
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46027) - you deserved it (3349)

On 01/28/2014 at 3:28pm - love - by Order of the Dangling Testicles (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because she found some lesbian porn on my computer. Her reasoning? That I must secretly be gay. FML

#21042109
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42288) - you deserved it (9166)

On 01/27/2014 at 6:32pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I got a black eye while trying to break up a fight caused by some complete bastard making a "yo momma" joke at the funeral of my best friend's mother. FML

#21042087
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51222) - you deserved it (3940)

On 01/27/2014 at 6:09pm - health - by knobbed (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML

#21042040
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20516) - you deserved it (54278)

On 01/27/2014 at 5:31pm - misc - by :( (man) - Algeria

Today, my sister was taking forever in the bathroom, and I jokingly threatened to kick down the door. I rammed into it, and it actually bust almost off its hinges. My sister screamed and our parents came running. Now I'm grounded forever and our bathroom has no door. FML

#21040628
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21279) - you deserved it (40178)

On 01/26/2014 at 1:20pm - misc - by shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I told my friend I would pay him to ask out the ugliest girl he knew. He asked out my girlfriend. FML

#21039900
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23427) - you deserved it (46235)

On 01/25/2014 at 7:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went back to work after a horrible bout of respiratory illness. After a few hours of using hot tea, cough drops, and tissues to deal with my lingering cough, I found out that my asshole coworker has filed a formal complaint about me disrupting her concentration. FML

#21039586
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39637) - you deserved it (3437)

On 01/25/2014 at 2:11pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found that I conduct so much static electricity that I'm periodically given a shock by my headphones as I walk with them on. 5ML

#21038657
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30347) - you deserved it (3445)

On 01/24/2014 at 7:34pm - misc - by PangolinScholar (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, in revenge for being grounded for bullying a kid at school, my eight-year-old son flung a handful of Lego in my path as I walked barefoot into the kitchen. I'm still in pain. 5ML

#21038562
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39077) - you deserved it (7363)

On 01/24/2014 at 6:10pm - kids - by limping (man) - Canada



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