Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, after about a year of keeping it a secret from my girlfriend, I told her about my foot fetish. She said "EWWWWWWWW!" and left. She's ignoring my calls and has changed her relationship status to single on Facebook. FML

#21500257
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21821) - you deserved it (6018)

On 12/05/2015 at 12:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, at college, I walked in on some kid jerking off in front of the bathroom sink. This place never ceases to amaze and disgust me. FML

#21500213
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21914) - you deserved it (1595)

On 12/04/2015 at 10:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my partner and I got called out to a domestic disturbance. Things turned ugly while we were en-route. Long story short, I now know how many grown men it takes to lift a nearly 400lb shit-covered woman onto a stretcher. I almost reconsidered my choice of career. FML

#21500205
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21315) - you deserved it (1621)

On 12/04/2015 at 10:43pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went out with a girl I've been dating. I dropped her off and she finally asked me if I wanted to come in. When I did, she asked me to change a light bulb in her kitchen, and then promptly sent me home. FML

#21500163
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23091) - you deserved it (3168)

On 12/04/2015 at 8:57pm - love - by mywillyisdisappointed (man) - United States

Today, I found out my son was never accepted into the local university 2 years ago. He actually went out and got a job, and only lied about it so he could keep living in my house rent-free. The conniving bastard makes more than I do at my minimum-wage job. FML

#21500083
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23911) - you deserved it (4408)

On 12/04/2015 at 4:47pm - kids - by Suckered (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my friend took me tandem skydiving. When it was time to jump, he began crying, said he'd cut our parachute cords, then said "Goodbye, cruel world!" and pushed me off the plane with him strapped to my back. I pissed myself and cried like a bitch. He thinks his "prank" was hilarious. FML

#21500058
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26244) - you deserved it (2689)

On 12/04/2015 at 3:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was told that the cutoff date for dropping out of one of my classes was last Friday. Which would have been fine if the school website had the right information when I checked it last Friday. They're ignoring my screenshots proving as such. FML

Today, I was walking on my crutches towards the bus through the rain. The bus driver looked into my eyes, punching the button to close the doors while I was still a few meters away. As he drove off, he kept his eyes on me, while I had to wait for another 15 minutes for the next bus in the rain. FML

#21499700
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21801) - you deserved it (1339)

On 12/03/2015 at 3:19pm - misc - by shaft2112 (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I accidentally walked in on my dad as he was getting changed. Now I know genetics can be a real bitch. With such a massive difference in size, I have to question whether I'm even biologically related to this old three-legged git. FML

#21499337
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26982) - you deserved it (3284)

On 12/03/2015 at 9:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I asked my dad why the Wi-fi was down. He just replied, "Why? Horno can't get no more porno?" No, "Horno" has an assignment. WTF? FML

#21499340
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21377) - you deserved it (2127)

On 12/02/2015 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by horno (man) - United States (California)

Today, a police officer pulled me over. He asked me where I was headed, so I jokingly replied, "Probably to jail after you run my name". He laughed and took my information, only to then arrest me for unpaid parking tickets I never received. FML

#21499273
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20443) - you deserved it (7882)

On 12/02/2015 at 9:34am - misc - by Nightbird827 (man) -

Today, I bought lunch for my grandparents, aunts, and uncles. My uncle apparently felt uncomfortable at the restaurant, because he got up and flipped the table over before leaving. The bill tripled because of the broken glass, and my uncle called me up later for a ride. FML

#21498342
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21832) - you deserved it (1336)

On 11/29/2015 at 9:47pm - misc - by AsshatUncle (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, at my Grandfather's funeral, my Grandmother decided it would be a good time to tell the story of the time she went to a strip club. FML



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: