Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I shouldn't have told my boss that I was interested in management. She now throws any problem she doesn't want to solve at me and either gets mad when I can't work it out or takes credit when I do. FML

#21180330
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39826) - you deserved it (6112)

On 06/19/2014 at 4:24am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52340) - you deserved it (4606)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I almost got written up for insubordination by my boss. All I did was explain to him that I couldn't help a tourist out because I speak Japanese, not Korean, and that it's not in fact "the same Asian shit" as he seemed to think. FML

#21177954
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43560) - you deserved it (2963)

On 06/17/2014 at 11:28am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I feel massively depressed, but I can't talk to anyone about it as I'm British. FML

#21177849
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35610) - you deserved it (10003)

On 06/17/2014 at 8:26am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was going to the bathroom at work. When I stood up, I noticed a little button on the side. I pressed it and the toilet flushed. I've worked there for nine months and just found out today that our toilets don't flush automatically. FML

#21177356
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24171) - you deserved it (42580)

On 06/16/2014 at 10:45pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had a job interview. It went really well until I couldn't figure out how to open the slide door to get out of the room. FML

#21177054
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38066) - you deserved it (5539)

On 06/16/2014 at 6:49pm - work - by UnhappilyUnemployed (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my daughter told me that she liked her "other daddy" better. I don't know who's she talking about, but my wife is doing a good job telling her to be quiet. FML

#21177000
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56350) - you deserved it (3943)

On 06/16/2014 at 5:38pm - kids - by FirstDaddy (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, the girl who broke up with me and disappeared 6 years ago wished me a happy Father's Day. FML

#21176638
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50859) - you deserved it (5798)

On 06/16/2014 at 11:30am - misc - by IneedMaury (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, in a last ditch attempt to get away from my psycho coworker, I made my boss transfer me to another branch in the district. My coworker was immediately moved to that branch, because we "work well together". FML

#21176055
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45184) - you deserved it (4257)

On 06/15/2014 at 10:21pm - work - by Godhelpme (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML

#21175587
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56986) - you deserved it (5268)

On 06/15/2014 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was confiding in my dad over the phone, after I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. After I hung up and went online, I noticed he'd been live-blogging the whole call on Facebook and commenting that he was considering suicide to escape the boredom. FML

#21173916
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46898) - you deserved it (4462)

On 06/13/2014 at 11:56pm - misc - by -_- (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my 8-year-old son microwaved his pet hamster. FML

#21173596
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53031) - you deserved it (8951)

On 06/13/2014 at 6:53pm - animals - by sunil (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at my mother's open-casket funeral, my sister-in-law went to pay her respects. As she stood in front of the body, she coughed, muttering "bitch" in the process. Either nobody else noticed or nobody cared, and she went on her way, noticeably not choked up at all. FML

#21173556
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40213) - you deserved it (3892)

On 06/13/2014 at 6:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: