Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I tried buying alcohol for the first time. I have a baby face, so I had my ID ready. The store owner admitted that my ID looked real enough, but he wouldn't believe it wasn't just an elaborate fake. He very nearly called the cops on me. FML

#21502763
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21166) - you deserved it (1558)

On 12/11/2015 at 11:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I'm so sexually deprived that I got a raging hard-on from seeing and hearing my coworker yawn. FML

#21502633
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19890) - you deserved it (4205)

On 12/11/2015 at 3:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had my first job interview in months. The guy chuckled mockingly at my master's degree in philosophy and wound up admitting that he had no idea why I'd even been selected to be interviewed. FML

#21502612
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19779) - you deserved it (3433)

On 12/11/2015 at 2:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I found out my credit card was maxed out to the penny, all thanks to purchases made on an online wine store. Apparently my mother was thirsty enough to steal from her own son. FML

#21502573
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21892) - you deserved it (1418)

On 12/11/2015 at 11:34am - money - by KamiAzaaaaaa (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my girlfriend jumped into my arms for a kiss. She's done it before, but this time I wasn't expecting it. I fell backwards, straight through my glass coffee table. FML

#21502189
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23217) - you deserved it (1943)

On 12/10/2015 at 8:45am - health - by fucking SUCKS let's do it LIIIIIIIVEEEEEEEEE! (man) - United States

Today, I fell asleep while using my laptop. The next thing I know, it's 8am and my dad is screaming at me for posting "u skank-ass cunt-face" on my mom's Facebook timeline. I never made that post, but he won't believe me. My asshole brother, meanwhile, can't stop smirking at me. FML

#21502182
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22379) - you deserved it (2296)

On 12/10/2015 at 8:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She said no because she doesn't want to be tied down for the rest of her life. We already have 3 children, a mortgage, and joint bank accounts. How much more tied down could we possibly get? FML

#21501461
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28708) - you deserved it (2627)

On 12/08/2015 at 12:21pm - love - by Nile (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my cat managed to digest some of the grass she ate. This makes her poop come out daisy-chained, and sometimes leaves a piece dangling from her ass on a string of grass. Then she runs around like crazy until it falls off, if possible on my bed. I had to catch her and pull it out by hand. FML

Today, some wannabe molester actually used the "Do you know who my dad is?!" line on me as I threw him out of a club. Turns out his dad is my boss's brother. I'm now searching for a new job. FML

#21500663
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25019) - you deserved it (1819)

On 12/06/2015 at 6:11am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, at work, my vindictive, cheating ex made me clean and inspect her new wedding ring. FML

#21500653
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21647) - you deserved it (2078)

On 12/06/2015 at 4:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at my wedding reception, my wife's Grandfather decided to sing for everyone. The first words out of his mouth once he got the microphone were, "I'm a Senior Swinger." I had to explain to my appalled guests that it was just the name of the chorus group at his retirement home. FML

#21500533
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20514) - you deserved it (1743)

On 12/05/2015 at 8:46pm - misc - by ohnohedidnt (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dad is having his midlife crisis and bought a mercedes along with a girlfriend less than half his age. I was trying to be supportive until I found out he is funding his midlife crisis with my university loan. FML

#21500343
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24477) - you deserved it (1444)

On 12/05/2015 at 9:54am - money - by adam (man) - Czech Republic

Today, after about a year of keeping it a secret from my girlfriend, I told her about my foot fetish. She said "EWWWWWWWW!" and left. She's ignoring my calls and has changed her relationship status to single on Facebook. FML

#21500257
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21821) - you deserved it (6018)

On 12/05/2015 at 12:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: