Today, my girlfriend and I were at the river. She threw mud on me, so I playfully threw some on her, and we got into a mud fight. Apparently, she took the "fight" seriously, because I'm now single. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46891) - you deserved it (4652)
On 05/05/2013 at 3:35pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, as a condominium security guard, I had to enter an old lady's apartment to supervise the mandatory maintenance taking place inside. I commented on the lakeside view from her window and mentioned, "This is a pretty nice view up here isn't it?" It turns out that she's blind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44882) - you deserved it (6155)
On 05/05/2013 at 12:28am - work - by rent-a-cop (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my neighbours' whiny emo of a daughter got dumped by her boyfriend. In her infinite wisdom, she's chosen to cope by playing on her recorder the worst rendition of "My Heart Will Go On" that I've ever heard. It's been going on all day. Now I know why he dumped this idiot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45200) - you deserved it (7517)
On 05/04/2013 at 5:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)
Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML
I agree, your life sucks (44566) - you deserved it (6101)
On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)
Today, I finally started exercising. I'm a rather obese person and I'm super pumped up to finally get off my lazy butt and lose some weight. Locking myself in my room, I first started with a very simple exercise: jumping jacks. I farted each time I jumped. I jumped 10 times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39604) - you deserved it (9466)
On 05/04/2013 at 4:11am - health - by thatonesilentkidinclass (man) - Philippines (Batangas)
Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53970) - you deserved it (2729)
On 05/03/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands
Today, I was at dance rehearsal. As a male dancer I like to keep the fact that I dance a secret because of the stupid stereotypes male dancers have. This plan was quickly shot down when I discovered I was performing at my school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34728) - you deserved it (4602)
On 05/03/2013 at 8:39pm - misc - by DeActivated (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, I gave a big presentation to my class. It included PowerPoint slides and video clips of the country I'd been researching. Another student did a presentation on the same country, except he just read from its Wikipedia page. He practically got a standing ovation. I got a single clap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38847) - you deserved it (2737)
On 05/03/2013 at 12:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my wife told me that getting in the mood to have sex with me is like trying to get in the mood to hit the treadmill. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47208) - you deserved it (5892)
On 05/03/2013 at 8:13am - intimacy - by Who1s269 (man) - United States
Today, I was feeling down about being stuck in bed after ankle surgery. I thought I would go ahead and call my boss and let him know everything went well. He said the obligatory nice things, then told me that if I'm not at work on Monday, I'll be fired. I can't even get out of bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40567) - you deserved it (2727)
On 05/03/2013 at 1:35am - work - by clutzasaurus (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML
I agree, your life sucks (54738) - you deserved it (7713)
On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my girlfriend dumped me for cheating on her. Her "proof" was an image of me making out with a girl. Pretty damning, except she loaded it up in Photoshop, where I saw the image layers she'd used to fake the whole thing. I'm not sure what the hell she was thinking either. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47706) - you deserved it (2760)
On 05/02/2013 at 8:16pm - love - by psycho ex (man) - Brazil
Today, my crazy neighbor came up to me in the street and slapped me across the face, accusing me of leering through her restroom window while she showered. I'm gay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39334) - you deserved it (5253)
On 05/02/2013 at 4:27am - misc - by inyobeddd (man) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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