Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, during a date with my girlfriend, I found out you can hiccup hard enough to convince someone that you're having a seizure. FML

#21375726
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28550) - you deserved it (2279)

On 03/16/2015 at 3:15pm - misc - by redneckpunk (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my ex called me up to suggest that we become friends, only so that she could introduce me to her new boyfriend. FML

#21375599
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (132) - you deserved it (3213)

On 03/16/2015 at 10:36am - love - by xswitch74 (man) - United Kingdom

Today, a guy beat the crap out of me for supposedly sleeping with his girlfriend. I didn't get a chance to tell him my brother lives with me and that he had the wrong guy. When my brother got home, he didn't ask if I was okay, but rather if the guy was coming back for him. FML

#21375070
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35228) - you deserved it (2376)

On 03/15/2015 at 2:40pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, at Walmart, I overheard a lady telling a teenage girl that the secret to keeping a guy for life is giving him anal, but that it's important to clean your "shitter" beforehand. I can't believe these kinds of sick freaks actually exist. FML

#21375051
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29344) - you deserved it (7881)

On 03/15/2015 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I took my son to the playground and watched him have fun. Minutes later, I was being shoved around and called a pedophile because I was there alone with no wife. By the time I convinced them I was innocent, my son was bawling. FML

#21374998
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37913) - you deserved it (1815)

On 03/15/2015 at 12:11pm - kids - by pledonasm (man) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, my instructor turned up late to get me for my driving test. I soon realized something was seriously wrong. Turned out his wife left him last night, and he'd been drinking the pain away all morning. He ended up rear-ending another car, and now I have to reschedule my test. FML

#21374413
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30071) - you deserved it (2214)

On 03/14/2015 at 12:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I worked up the courage to tell my girlfriend that I love her. She made a face like she'd just sucked on a lemon and said "Um... yay, I guess...?" and awkwardly left the room. FML

#21374314
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30476) - you deserved it (2518)

On 03/14/2015 at 7:04am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Flevoland)

Today, I decided to have cereal for breakfast. I poured the cereal in the bowl, added the milk and had a spoonful. Then I realized that my cereal was moving in the back of my mouth. FML

#21374137
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31002) - you deserved it (3275)

On 03/13/2015 at 11:27pm - misc - by Eddy (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I tried to boycott an 80's theme party by wearing my regular clothes. Everyone said they loved my costume. FML

#21373989
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24907) - you deserved it (17887)

On 03/13/2015 at 6:39pm - misc - by jking2z (man) - United States

Today, I spent 5 hours organizing my porn collection on my computer. What the hell am I doing with my life? FML

#21373875
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23914) - you deserved it (22592)

On 03/13/2015 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Bahrain (Al Manamah)

Today, I was given a new responsibility at the law firm where I work. I'm now in charge of punching holes in every single piece of paper to be found in the office, estimated to be in the hundred-thousands. The reason? I finish my daily clerical work too quickly. FML

#21372587
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25061) - you deserved it (2152)

On 03/11/2015 at 4:15pm - work - by KillMePlease (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after years of providing daily various home-made colourful meals for three kids and a husband, I was asked to "cook something cool, like instant hamburgers, not that lame healthy shit". FML

#21371880
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (107) - you deserved it (3815)

On 03/10/2015 at 2:43pm - kids - by LameChef (man) - Poland

Today, I decided to show up early for work and really try to get off my manager's shit-list. On my way to work, my manager called to bitch me out for already being 30 minutes late. Yeah, I forgot about Daylight Savings Time. FML

#21370481
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31868) - you deserved it (23)

On 03/08/2015 at 12:42pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

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