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Today, I realized that I ran out of deodorant. On top of that, I was late to work so I had to run, making me all sweaty and smelly. To cover it up, I used the air-freshener in the toilet at work. Everyone recognized the "Lemon Tree" scent and now all of my colleagues think I'm a cheap bastard. FML

#21302617
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25939) - you deserved it (5768)

On 11/20/2014 at 6:32am - health - by LemonTree (man) - Hungary

Today, my boyfriend said "You're a real work of art. You know, the abstract kind that no one likes. Anyway, we need to break up." FML

#21302073
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34757) - you deserved it (3035)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:40pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on a date, and I went to put my arm around her, trying to be romantic, but my coordination went straight to hell. Instead of her shoulder, I ended up accidentally grabbing her tit. FML

#21302056
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28251) - you deserved it (6935)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:03pm - love - by oops (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my wife and I decided to try out role playing. She ended up having an anxiety attack when I said she wasn't turning in her homework. FML

#21301827
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31771) - you deserved it (3470)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:27am - intimacy - by jigglypluff (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because of the scratch marks on my back. I didn't have the nerve to tell her I tried to shower with the cat. FML

#21300928
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18341) - you deserved it (29450)

On 11/17/2014 at 7:56pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I heard my mother say, "I feel bad for any girl that marries him because he's, what's the word? Metrosexual!" To my girlfriend. About me. FML

#21300656
66 comments

Today, my older brother thinks typing out a Wikipedia article for an essay is not plagiarism, because he didn't "copy and paste" it. He's in college. FML

#21300403
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28012) - you deserved it (1982)

On 11/16/2014 at 10:46pm - misc - by areyouserious (man) - United States (California)

Today, after visiting friends for the weekend, I took the wrong train home. It was going in completely the opposite direction. I've now missed the last train back, will miss work tomorrow and have just been asked to vacate the train station. I'm 120 miles from home. FML

Today, my wife received a $15,000 bonus from her work. I got a backpack from mine. FML

#21300231
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27395) - you deserved it (2957)

On 11/16/2014 at 6:25pm - misc - by INeedaNewJob (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I asked my dad for advice. I recently got drunk and had a one-night stand. I feel terrible, because I'm engaged to a wonderful lady. My dad just said, "You did the right thing, son, keep it up. She's gonna steal half ya shit in the divorce anyway". FML

#21299758
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19220) - you deserved it (28439)

On 11/15/2014 at 7:04pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while driving to my daughter's wedding, the person behind us kept laying on her horn and yelling every time I stopped for a red light. That person was my wife. Sadly I'm too whipped to stand up to her and spent the whole drive pretending not to hear my passengers snickering at me. FML

#21299484
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25043) - you deserved it (7093)

On 11/15/2014 at 10:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I woke myself up by letting out a long fart. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't fallen asleep while on jury duty. FML

#21299443
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29222) - you deserved it (7957)

On 11/15/2014 at 8:25am - misc - by That_Indian_Guy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out one of my girlfriend's recent Google searches was, "should I admit to cheating or just dump him?" FML

#21299071
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31446) - you deserved it (2014)

On 11/14/2014 at 5:36pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom



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