Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my grandma got drunk, tried to change the TV channel with my Xbox controller, and slurred at me to fuck off when I told her it wasn't the remote. She pulls this kind of crap way too often. FML

#21523258
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17358) - you deserved it (1335)

On 02/06/2016 at 12:04am - misc - by sick of this shit (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I worked up the confidence to go to the mall alone for the first time since being confined to a wheelchair. It didn't even take 20 minutes before some teenager grabbed my wheelchair and tried to race me around, all while his friends watched and laughed. FML

#21523102
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26620) - you deserved it (1188)

On 02/05/2016 at 3:08pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my parents called me to ask if I could drop my dog off to them on Sunday. They're having a Superbowl party and want to show her off to their guests. My dog is invited, but I'm not. FML

#21522725
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20628) - you deserved it (1502)

On 02/04/2016 at 10:16am - animals - by uninvited (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, Southwest officially called off the search for my lost baggage and asked me to file a claim for reimbursement. My bag had $2000 worth of dental instruments, which I won't get any compensation for since the airline doesn't take any liability for valuable items. FML

#21522618
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20131) - you deserved it (1715)

On 02/03/2016 at 11:47pm - misc - by InDebt (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, while I was taking a shit, a guy went into the next stall and narrated what he was doing in song. I'm still traumatized by his lyrics. FML

#21522585
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19703) - you deserved it (1518)

On 02/03/2016 at 10:13pm - misc - by Lord_Nick (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, after finding out that my professor likes to talk trash about, and constantly belittle, Muslims in every American History class he teaches, I submitted an essay about Muslim contributions to humanity. He held me back after class and asked why I gave him such filth. I'm a Muslim. FML

#21522430
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25576) - you deserved it (4064)

On 02/03/2016 at 1:14pm - work - by Upset (man) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to be sexy by pulling down my girlfriend's panties with my teeth. I didn't expect to be faced with the mother of all shit stains and start gagging so bad I nearly puked. FML

#21522398
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25517) - you deserved it (3635)

On 02/03/2016 at 10:40am - intimacy - by :x (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after a badly misjudged hand signal, I accidentally hit my boss in the face instead of high-fiving her. FML

#21522381
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18411) - you deserved it (2825)

On 02/03/2016 at 10:06am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to explain autism to my classmates. One of them, a professional cunt who's always looking for an excuse to lecture people, accused me of being "ableist" because my explanations weren't accurate, and said I shouldn't explain things I don't understand. I'm actually autistic. FML

#21522371
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22329) - you deserved it (1409)

On 02/03/2016 at 8:33am - health - by Ishikur (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that my tax filing status was never changed after my divorce. This means I haven't been paying enough and now the government wants its money. FML

#21522112
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19499) - you deserved it (3859)

On 02/02/2016 at 1:48pm - money - by sideeffect001 (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my cellphone-hating teacher called someone during class, so I called him out about it. Turned out his wife was having a tumor removed, and he was calling to see if she was okay. FML

Today, I got to work and saw a new desk had been setup on stilts. 'Oh, who got the standing desk?' I asked. Turns out it's for the guy in the wheelchair who was right behind me. It needs to be high so the controls of his wheelchair can fit under the desk. FML

#21522017
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17896) - you deserved it (3395)

On 02/02/2016 at 5:06am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I woke up with an extremely irritable rash around my crotch. I didn't want to full out itch it by putting my hands down my pants, so I itched it by putting my hand in my pockets. I got kicked off the train for "pleasuring myself in public." FML

#21521769
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19414) - you deserved it (4865)

On 02/01/2016 at 12:00pm - intimacy - by IsThisRealLife (man) - United Kingdom



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