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Today, I received the $30 parking pass that I ordered over 4 weeks ago. My class is only 4 weeks long, and next week is the last week. FML

#21226277
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2161) - you deserved it (244)

On 07/31/2014 at 10:50pm - misc - by RiceSickle (man) - United States (California)

Today, while wandering around the big city I just relocated to, I asked a seemingly pleasant-looking lady where the nearest library was. She told me to get lost, and started laughing. Then said she was just joking and gave me directions. I'm now standing in front of a gay strip joint. FML

#21225641
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26606) - you deserved it (2634)

On 07/31/2014 at 7:38am - misc - by lostintdot (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I met someone who works in radio advertising. Making conversation, I described an ad that I can't stand. He wrote it. FML

#21222884
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33069) - you deserved it (7828)

On 07/28/2014 at 6:16am - work - by Scotty (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my girlfriend came back from camping with her friends. I say "friends", I mean "friend". And when I say "friend", I mean "her ex". I took a look through her bag afterwards, and well, who knew condoms were considered camping equipment these days. FML

#21222062
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46447) - you deserved it (5385)

On 07/27/2014 at 1:12pm - love - by fingwhore (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to go to the hospital to get blood taken. The nurse mentioned how pronounced and easy to see my veins are. I guess that explains why she missed five times in a row. I'm surprised my arm doesn't look like a heroin addict's right now. FML

#21222027
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33193) - you deserved it (2370)

On 07/27/2014 at 12:13pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went back to work after a vacation, only to find out I'll soon be forced to dress up as one of the princesses from Frozen to promote our store. FML

#21221108
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37397) - you deserved it (5434)

On 07/26/2014 at 12:29pm - work - by PrincessPromotion (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I lost my wedding ring at work. It wouldn't be too hard to track down, except that I work at Heinz. If you find it in your mayonnaise, keep it. FML

Today, I got rear-ended because my ultra-clingy girlfriend wouldn't let go of my hand long enough for me to shift gears. FML

#21220481
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39685) - you deserved it (9255)

On 07/25/2014 at 5:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I got expelled from school. I was walking down a flight of stairs when I tripped and bumped into a kid ahead of me by mistake. He fell forward and took half a dozen people down with him. The staff think I did it on purpose, and there's talk of charges being pressed. FML

#21220439
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42671) - you deserved it (3617)

On 07/25/2014 at 4:19pm - misc - by asshalf15 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I held the door open for a woman and her kids on my way out of the bank. She started accusing me of patronizing her, and when I just let go of the door in protest, she deliberately leaned in so it hit her in the face. I felt the glares from the entire bank as she pretended to cry. FML

#21220355
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42776) - you deserved it (3380)

On 07/25/2014 at 2:16pm - misc - by notadoorman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, I was cooking bacon while my dog watched me, drooling. I thought this was funny and I teased her a bit. I then slipped in the drool as I was carrying the bacon and she got to enjoy it. FML

#21219985
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17305) - you deserved it (45291)

On 07/25/2014 at 2:05am - animals - by fuckendog (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a customer threatened to smash my face in because I wouldn't give him a veteran's discount on a donut. He looked like he'd eaten his way out of fat camp, and it seemed the only action he'd seen was fighting his way into a lard factory. Still, he swung fast, and I now have a black eye. FML

#21219507
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36835) - you deserved it (15072)

On 07/24/2014 at 5:23pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)



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  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

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