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Man or woman?

Today, I went to an important job interview, only to be told I'm not what such a "prestigious" company was looking for. This from a pimply-faced 20-something who took a personal call on speakerphone mid-interview, and actually said "lmao" out loud at his friend's joke. FML

#21436559
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8511) - you deserved it (587)

On 07/05/2015 at 12:04am - work - by jobless1 (man) -

Today, I took an online IQ test, even though I knew they give everyone unrealistically high scores. My score was 73. FML

#21436113
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15611) - you deserved it (3610)

On 07/03/2015 at 11:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my extremely religious mom ranted at me, saying I'd only bought an electric toothbrush so I could masturbate with it. I'm a guy. FML

#21435969
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19862) - you deserved it (1269)

On 07/03/2015 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by but cum to think of it... (man) -

Today, I tried to arrange my first gallery exhibition as a photography student. Not even my mother wants to come. FML

#21435796
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20729) - you deserved it (1832)

On 07/03/2015 at 9:42am - misc - by jasondrags (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I sent the girl I like flowers, only to have her later post a picture of them online, saying, "ha when losers send you flowers". FML

#21435086
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26160) - you deserved it (1906)

On 07/01/2015 at 10:04pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, our family dog died. A couple of hours after the death, my mother-in-law slapped my crying five year old son over the head and told him to "Man up." She totally refuses to admit she did anything wrong. FML

Today, I was working at a fast food restaurant when I cut my hand. There was a good amount of blood flowing out so I ran to my manager and asked where the first aid kit was. He then picked up a washcloth and some tape and handed it to me. FML

#21433911
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21763) - you deserved it (1549)

On 06/29/2015 at 4:34pm - work - by Greattitan2 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was legitimately sick so I called in to work. Apparently, 4 other guys on my line called in too. My boss thought we planned it. Now we're all written up. FML

#21433907
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22031) - you deserved it (1248)

On 06/29/2015 at 4:29pm - work - by Justincredible69 (man) - United States

Today, I wore flip-flops to work. Just as I walked onto the elevator, they made a sound very close to that of a fart. About 10 seconds later, some asshole let out a silent but deadly fart, earning me a bunch of disgusted looks. FML

#21432890
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24176) - you deserved it (4042)

On 06/27/2015 at 3:58pm - work - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my parents heard about the decision to make same-sex marriage legal in all states. They're so outraged that they're even talking about getting a house in Canada. They're in for a surprise. FML

#21432698
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28543) - you deserved it (2289)

On 06/27/2015 at 5:38am - misc - by MovingtoCanada (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I have the flu, so I called my boss to let him know I couldn't come in today. He told me to think my "lies" through better, and claimed that you can only get the flu during winter. So I guess I'm faking my pale skin, short breath, runny nose, and constant sneezing. FML

#21432636
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23774) - you deserved it (1583)

On 06/27/2015 at 1:48am - work - by *cough* *cough* you're a dickface (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML

#21432533
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30478) - you deserved it (2142)

On 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm - work - by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my brother tried cremating our deceased cat. In the oven. My nose has killed itself. FML



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