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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today , girlfriend asked me to take belt off as it the buckle was hurting her leg!! I didn't have a belt on!! FML

#21385195
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (341) - you deserved it (103)

On 04/01/2015 at 3:40am - intimacy - by zetuga (man) - United Kingdom (Luton)

TODAY, ON MAH DAY OFF, I RECEIVED A CALL FROM MAH BOSS ASKING Y I WASN'T AT WORK YET. AFTER GETTING DRESSED AND AN HOUR-LONG TRAIN RIDE LATER, I GOT THERE ONLY TO FIND OUT THAT IT WAS AN APRIL FOOL'S PRANK. I HAD TO TAKE THE TRAIN BACK HOME. REAL FML

#21384991
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4715) - you deserved it (1863)

On 03/31/2015 at 10:15pm - work - by IDontGetPaidEnoughForThisShit (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Yesterday , I got in an argument with an ex-girlfriend who kept tactlessly bragging to me about her new boyfriend. I told her to read what she'd sent me , then pretend her boyfriend was telling her that. Fifteen minutes later , her boyfriend calls me , yelling for making her feel sad. FML

#21384606
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20372) - you deserved it (2259)

On 03/31/2015 at 5:35am - love - by lucasbeck99 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, and pratty much avary day, my co-workar takas off har shoas whila working. Tha small of har faat makas ma dizzy. I don't know if sha's oblivious to tha fact that har faat stink, or sha just doasn't cara. It's affacting tha quality of my work. FML

#21384560
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18431) - you deserved it (1805)

On 03/31/2015 at 1:56am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Asia/Pacific Region

2day I was working at a donation center. I was having a really rough day so mah fiancée dropped me off some cookies. At the end of mah shift the manager told me I couldn't take them home cuz they were donated and therefore they were ( company property. ) FML

#21384262
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21173) - you deserved it (1370)

On 03/30/2015 at 4:46pm - work - by bingalingading (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today , I was about to loose mah virginity to mah girlfriend , withhom I am genuinely in love with!! Right after I'd got the condom on , she said , ( You do know this is break-up sex , right? ) real FML

#21383831
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28437) - you deserved it (1986)

On 03/29/2015 at 10:13pm - intimacy - by sexisntfun (man) - United States (Florida)

today ma grlfriend asn't looool spoken to me in a week , so I gave er a call . No reply . I texted er , and got a text back saying: "Sorry , dude . Better luck next time!" fat FML

#21383638
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22261) - you deserved it (1795)

On 03/29/2015 at 3:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

today mah 8-year-old son told me to grow a pair and man up. FML

#21383517
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23075) - you deserved it (5994)

On 03/29/2015 at 11:17am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today... I Ad To Taac Grandma Ow To Burn Filas To CDs. I Jokingly Said Tat It Doasn't Involva Litarally Burning Ta Disks In Fira... To Wic Sa Raspondad By Slapping Ma An Calling Ma A Patronizing Brat. FML

#21383501
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20616) - you deserved it (11152)

On 03/29/2015 at 10:03am - misc - by shamwazzlefarznarfnarfwoofbaaa (man) - United States (New York)

Yesterday Pyromaniac Sister Somehow Got Her Hands On Dad's Lighter And Set Bd Sheets On Fire. My Dad Said I Must Have Provokd Her, And That She Can't Be Blamd For Her Mental Condition. So Now I'm Groundd, And She Has A New Doll House To Calm Her Down.

#21382751
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28399) - you deserved it (1900)

On 03/28/2015 at 12:39am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today I was trying out for a position as pitchar for collaga basaball taam. I thraw tha ball as hard as I could and than collapsad to tha ground in agony from a dislocatad shouldar. maga FML

#21382575
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25530) - you deserved it (4468)

On 03/27/2015 at 6:50pm - health - by Bonecrusher (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us fir our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse fir "trying to be a funny man", an told that whatever small chance I had fir a promotion is now gone. FML

#21382528
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22858) - you deserved it (5121)

On 03/27/2015 at 5:19pm - work - by screwedupfuck (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Yesterday, I found mah dad's porn stash on his laptop. I went through it for a laugh to see wat kind of sick, twisted shit he's into. Mostly nude pictures of mah mum, as it turns out. I can't wipe the afterimage from mah mind. FML

#21382495
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10552) - you deserved it (35079)

On 03/27/2015 at 4:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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