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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Today, I had to call AAA for the fifth time in two months. When the driver got out, I instantly recognized him. It was the same guy who helped me out all the previous occasions. When he saw me, he snorted and doubled over laughing. FML

#19048671 (61)

I agree, your life sucks (834) - you deserved it (218)

On 02/11/2012 at 1:35pm - misc - by big steve (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML

#19043614 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (3737) - you deserved it (337)

On 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm - misc - by rapper in training (man) - United States

Today, I got into a fist-fight with a wasp, aka a Nazi helicopter. Despite swiping at it with ninja-like skills, I lost. FML

#19040540 (135)

I agree, your life sucks (1082) - you deserved it (3993)

On 02/10/2012 at 9:13am - animals - by Stung (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I had a technical skill test as a nurse. My objective was to help the patient defecate, but my opening sentence came out as: "Hello, I'm Jan. I'm here to help you take a shit." FML

#19030539 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (4667) - you deserved it (2167)

On 02/08/2012 at 10:24pm - work - by Silver_Samurai (man) - Netherlands

Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML

#19029338 (61)

I agree, your life sucks (4635) - you deserved it (1774)

On 02/08/2012 at 8:20pm - misc - by pauper (man) -

Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend got engaged to a co-worker. I got her the job. FML

#19025150 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (5269) - you deserved it (827)

On 02/08/2012 at 8:08am - love - by D-Man (man) - United States

Today, I saw my girlfriend at the store and joyfully greeted her. She got really mad at me - it was her identical twin sister, who I still cannot tell apart from my girlfriend. We've been dating for three years. FML

#19018043 (176)

I agree, your life sucks (5812) - you deserved it (3693)

On 02/07/2012 at 1:15pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I have to follow through with the bet I lost over the Super Bowl game. I don't have a problem running a lap nude around my block, but the cops in the police station right across from my house probably will. FML

#19017961 (228)

I agree, your life sucks (1888) - you deserved it (6640)

On 02/07/2012 at 12:58pm - misc - by MillyMan (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I sneezed after watching a commercial involving dust. FML

#19016688 (32)

I agree, your life sucks (4108) - you deserved it (1538)

On 02/07/2012 at 7:04am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my alcoholic mother decided to finally check herself into rehab. She did it while drunk, and flirted with the front attendant. FML

#19016391 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (5502) - you deserved it (466)

On 02/07/2012 at 4:27am - health - by anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my girlfriend openly mocked me, calling me an idiot for thinking seahorses are real. She insists that they're like unicorns, and only exist in fiction. FML

#19011478 (375)

I agree, your life sucks (9148) - you deserved it (1024)

On 02/06/2012 at 4:52pm - animals - by BoringFucker (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I found out that the only thing worse than a psycho, overbearing, controlling girlfriend is a psycho, overbearing and controlling ex-girlfriend. FML

#19007314 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (7369) - you deserved it (871)

On 02/06/2012 at 12:50am - love - by bluesox4 (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, the girl I have a crush on texted me to go out tonight. When I got to her house, she peered at me quizzically and asked, "What do you want? Did I text you?" FML

#19007190 (86)

I agree, your life sucks (7151) - you deserved it (523)

On 02/06/2012 at 12:35am - love - by hudd357mag (man) - United States