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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was turned down from the dream job that I was promised two years ago, once my chemo and radiation therapy was finished. His excuse? He never actually expected me to survive. FML

#21366066
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2855) - you deserved it (118)

On 03/01/2015 at 6:36pm - work - by kysier (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, after a 7 year dry spell, I finally got laid. The downside? It was in my dreams and involved a character from My Little Pony forcing itself on me. Now I hate that fucking stupid show more than ever. FML

#21365913
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15406) - you deserved it (2937)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by love and tolerape, apparently (man) - India (Jharkhand)

Today, while on the train heading to my new job, my coat caught between two seats. I didn't notice until my stop. I whacked myself in the face in front of everyone trying to get it free, and ended up missing my stop. When I finally got to work, I was told not to bother coming in again. FML

#21365771
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18212) - you deserved it (1385)

On 03/01/2015 at 8:31am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, the girl I've been seeing for just over a week casually let me know that she'll slash her wrists if I ever leave her. FML

#21365201
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24695) - you deserved it (2024)

On 02/28/2015 at 11:23am - love - by great (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML

#21364983
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26356) - you deserved it (3863)

On 02/28/2015 at 12:03am - intimacy - by FreshDonuts (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I saw my grandma had registered on Facebook, so I wrote a welcome post on her wall. She replied "Delete." several times, then called me, accusing me of "hacking" her and demanding that I remove my name from her page at once. FML

#21364671
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24280) - you deserved it (2140)

On 02/27/2015 at 3:20pm - misc - by Y_Y (man) - United States

Today, I was feeling terrible so I called in sick to work. My boss refused to believe me and told me he'd fire me if I didn't come in. I dragged myself to work, only to spend most of the day glued to the toilet. Now he says I won't be paid for the day because I barely did any work. FML

#21364599
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28591) - you deserved it (1998)

On 02/27/2015 at 1:24pm - health - by Mark (man) - Malta

Today, I met my biological parents for the first time, 29 years into my life. They turned out to be two of the most pathetic people I have ever met, and the meeting ended after they asked me to lend them money because I "literally owe them my life." FML

#21364287
150 comments

Today, my friend was confiding all her problems to me over Skype. I pressed the mute button so I could let out a fart, forgetting I'd already muted it earlier. I broke several minutes of my own silence with a devastating wet one. Now she won't talk to me. FML

#21364034
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24634) - you deserved it (11281)

On 02/26/2015 at 4:17pm - misc - by MuteNToot (man) -

Today, after 3 years of studying to be a veterinarian, I found out I may not be able to continue. It's not because I'm failing my classes, but because my body has developed an allergy to cats. FML

#21363251
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29788) - you deserved it (2305)

On 02/25/2015 at 10:44am - animals - by cat-astrophic (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I greeted my girlfriend with a spinning hug. She got motion sickness and threw up all over me. FML

#21362603
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25976) - you deserved it (7251)

On 02/24/2015 at 2:02pm - love - by hamboneghost (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a woman yelled at me for holding a door open for her. FML

#21361801
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29983) - you deserved it (2793)

On 02/23/2015 at 3:18pm - misc - by Wutdafuqq (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got really anxious thinking I was going to piss off the guy behind me by not moving off at a stop light fast enough. It got so bad that I had a panic attack right there in my car. FML

#21361075
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25790) - you deserved it (6198)

On 02/22/2015 at 1:52pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Malta



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

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All illustrated FMLs

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  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

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